An Xbox 360 with Xbox Criminal Syndrome

Xbox Criminal Syndrome is a disease that was created in a laboratory deep underneath Microsoft Headquarters by Microsoft Sam in 2003. The Xbox Criminal Syndrome is estimated to have infected 189347133512 people and machines around the world. As of now, Xbox Criminal Syndrome is under control, but there are rumors of the Xbox ONE carrying a new strain...


Xbox Criminal Syndrome was first developed by Microsoft Sam. He was sick of being considered second best to the Xbox. In 2003, he finally snapped. He went into the lab after hours, and he went onto the most powerful computer in Microsoft's lab. He then types up the code for a computer virus to infect the Xbox 360.

The virus spread through the Xbox 360s as if they were dumb machines. It became such a problem that Bill Gates started shooting employees for no reason. It put back the production of the Xbox 360 for several years. Eventually Bill Gates developed a Shawt that worked in machines, and he gave all of the Xbox 360s shawts.

The virus was believed to be destroyed, but it was actually just dormant. After several years of throwing secret parties in the hard drive, the virus released itself again. That's when things really got nasty. Even nastier than Patrick Star's belly button lint. Humans started catching Xbox Criminal Syndrome. It was a pandemic for about five minutes. Then Gates made a "cure" (which was actually a fake to make people pay him more money).

Again, the virus is believed to be destroyed, but one year later, it has mutated and grown stronger, making it completely uncureable.



XCSA was the original strain produced by Microsoft Sam in 2003. It is the most primitive strain, only able to infect the Xbox 360. Fortunately, this strain was contained by Bill Gates by locking down the 360s and murdering his employees (this part was just for fun).


The second strain of the Xbox Criminal Syndrome Virus, XCSB is a mutated version of the XCSA. The primary difference between the two is that XCSB has the ability to infect machines and animals alike, not just Xbox 360s. This virus created a temporary pandemic, but it was quickly contained by Bill Gates (who made fake shawts) and by I.M. Meen (who made actual shawts).


Little is known about the theoretical XCS1 strain. Rumor has it that this strain exists in a dormant state in certain Xbox ONEs. Scientists are unsure what this virus is capable of.


Upon catching the disease, the host will begin showing signs of aggression, attempting to attack, kill, or scream at everyone and everything around them. As the virus spreads through their system, they will develop Heat Vision and Oxygen Conversion. Eventually, the host will be completely overtaken by the virus, and will attempt to run for political office. If the host wins the election, then the host dies and the virus takes control of the body forever. If the host loses the election, then it goes on a self-destructive rampage.

Known Carriers of the Disease

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.