UnAnything Wiki

What is UnAnything? UnAnything is a humor wiki that's been running for over a decade. Want to edit? Read the rules, because your edits won't be saved unless you follow the instructions within. But if you're just curious about us, you can read the guide. Be sure to also check out our Discord! Have fun!

READ MORE

UnAnything Wiki
Advertisement
Trophy

Wario is a WANTED article!

This means it is among the best UnAnything has to offer! It has been WANTED as of March 2014! Treat it with respect! Go here to see all WANTED articles.

Wario is a WANTED article!

Trophy

This means it is among the best UnAnything has to offer! It has been WANTED as of March 2014! Treat it with respect! Go here to see all WANTED articles.

I may be ugly, and smelly, and fat, but I am... ugly, and smelly, and fat.

Wario, losing self esteem

You want fun? WARIO SHOWS YOU FUN!!!

Wario, being evil in Super Mario 64.

Wario (formerly Kim Jong-fat) is a hero who is the rival of Mario, the brother of Waluigi, the son of Kim Il-sung and the father of Kim Jong-il, and is very strong and fartitudinous. He also eats lotsa garlio, a species of garlic he named after himself which gives him deadly farts. It is rumored that women who kiss him can taste garlic, but that was obviously a lie spread by Wario. Because he smells so bad, no one likes Wario but Waluigi, who has no sense of smell. He also has the superhuman ability known as Super Fat. Wario was later married with Princess Rosalina.

Wario was once considered the ugliest man alive, but they soon realized this was ridiculous, and there were much uglier people. So, he went for smelliest person alive. He entered the Smelliest Person Alive competition, and won second place. A really stinky guy won, so Wario captured him for ransom. Wario's IQ is unknown but Wario is smart enough to some things. Wario has been shown to be a tycoon and has built a Teleporter in a matter of seconds.

Wario is also good at writing poetry, but nobody ever likes it because it is offensive. In fact, he was once chased by an angry mob because they hated his poetry so much. He decided to stop writing after that.

Wario is also really bad at managing stuff, as all his companies have been eventually run into the ground selling cheap bad stuff or is reported to have horrible working conditions. For example, his microshame company WarioWare has been reported to ENSLAVE their workers and force them to make microshames.

History

Birth

Wario is the son of Kim Il-sung. He was born Kim Jong-fat. His father wanted Jong-fat to live in Korea, a land he created. After smelling Wario for the first time, and putting him on a scale for the first time, Kim Il-sung declared Wario was not worthy to be his son, and banished him to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Honor and Hatred

Wario

Wario as a baby.

When Wario was born, he had an awesome mustache. This mustache brought him fame throughout the land! In fact, all of Mushroom Kingdom considered him a god! Well, not really. He just tells this to Anybody who will listen. That's actually what happened to Mario. Wario was some spoiled brat that was born shortly before Mario on July 5th, 1581.

Wario used to be a baby once, but he was an ugly baby. As an ugly baby, he was to be crowned as the king of ugliness! This is not an actual position, but Wario's parents weren't the smartest people ever. He was instead crowned "Wario", which is short for "Wimpy Mario". He was called this because Wario was born with a mustache, just like the "god" Mario was born with a few days after Wario. Wario's was jagged, so Nobody cared about Wario.

Wario spent the first few years of his life believing Mario to be his savior. He even had a poster of Mario hanging in his bedroom. For some time it was borderline obsession. Then when Wario was five years old, the king of Mushroom Kingdom had his mustache cut off by a Hyrulian spy (NOOOOOOO!). Mario was banished, and Wario was heartbroken. His supposed hero had become a supposed traitor for his mustache. Wario shaved his mustache and vowed revenge... at only five years old.

Hunting Mario

Wario

Wow he is BEAUTIFUL UGLY!!! I think I'm going to be sick!

For the next fifteen years after Mario was banished, Wario spent countless hours attempting to hunt down the fallen plumber and finish him off. He started out where Mario used to live. He tied up Mario's parents and demanded to know where he was hiding. He even resorted to using methods of torture to get answers (such as making annoying noises and flicking rubber bands at them). He eventually decided they didn't know anything and he left.

Having no leads, he decided all he could do was start looking. He searched the entire street and couldn't find Mario anywhere! Wario had no idea how Mario could stay hidden so well. As Wario was such a loner, he didn't even know there was a world beyond the street they lived on. Eventually the police found him searching Somebody's house, and arrested him for breaking in.

Time in Jail

After being arrested, Wario didn't get a trial. This is because he was arrested in 1594, and they didn't have trials back then. He spent some time hanging out in prison, not sure what he was going to do now. While in prison, he met Daisy. He remained in prison for many decades until Daisy found the Sword of Epic. She promised to break him out if he started showering. She broke him out, but he did not keep his end of the deal.

Finding Mario

Wario Stupid

Wario displaying his unique intellect.

In 1646, sixty years after banishment, Mario returned to the Mushroom Kingdom. Wario had just gotten out of prison about 12 days, 42 hours, 100 minutes, and 76 seconds before. Hearing of this news made Wario go berserk. He started pounding his blubbery chest while screaming at the top of his lungs. He then charged at Mario and declared a sumo match.

Mario accepted the challenge. Wario attempted to body slam Mario, but Mario used a Starman. This made Mario temporarily invincible, and he beat the crap out of Wario. As per the terms of the fight, Wario was banished from Mushroom Kingdom for 50 years and five minutes. Wario left Mushroom Kingdom, but promised he would return.

Banishment and Travel

1531686 10151967192506765 61729862134302181 n

Wario left his home then he became the greatest Gym Leader.

Wario packed his bags, and traveled east. This was the first time he had ever left his home, and he had no idea where he was going. The fool eventually wandered right into Sparta. Master Chief and Leonidas confronted him, and they began to fight. Master Chief started shooting while Leonidas screamed "This is SPARTA!" OVER 9000 times. Wario simply crushed them with his fat and kept moving.

After a few years trying to hide from the 300, Wario made his way into the Squadala Empire. He met Squadala Man, and even shook hands with him. But Wario's hands were disgusting from not being washed in 100s of years, that Squadala Man had to go wash his own hands. But the Dawn dish soap made them smell even worse and worse. In a panick he chopped off his own hands because they smelt so rancid, but that still wasn't enough, as the putridness had spreadt to Squadala Man's non-mutilated body. He then sent the entire Squadala Army after Wario. Further east Wario ran, but he was being unknowingly followed by the Squadala Knight. Wario made it to the boarder of the Squadala Empire and China when the Knight attacked.

Wario and the Squadala Knight spent hours in a fierce duel. The Squadala Knight flailed his sword around like a three year old while Wario bounced around using his Super Fat abilities. The battle was long, but Wario eventually prevailed when he sat on the Squadala Knight. After this victory, Wario ran off to China before he could be followed.

China and Korea

Fat Wario

Wario doing a disturbing dance.

Wario moved to China where he lived a happy life for three years. He did not know how to speak Chinese, nor did he know how to use chopsticks. But somehow, he did well. But then a bunch of Chinese police guys knocked on his door. He was wanted for questioning about a gas attack that had taken place the previous day. He was brought in for questioning when a bunch of bad guys attacked the police. Wario's smell saved them all, and he was a hero in China.

Wario was given a position in Chinese government. He even learned how to use chopsticks (but not how to speak Chinese). Then he made friends with a man (now reptile) named Boshi. But then his past caught up to him. The Mushroom Kingdom, Sparta, and the Squadala Empire all declared war on China because they were hiding Wario. Wario retreated to Korea, and the Korean War began. He found the Wa-Machine during this time, and put it to good use.

Despite being the sole reason the war started, Wario did no actual fighting in the war. He instead did a bunch of politician stuff that assured him power after the war ended. Due to his "clever plan", China gave him part of Korea. They actually did it because they wanted his smell out of China, but he thought it was because he outsmarted them.

Wario became the first president of North Korea. At this point, most had forgotten Wario had once been named "Kim Jong-fat". But Wario, despising his current name, remembered his old name very well. When he had his first and only son, he named him Kim Jong-il. He told Jong-il to rule North Korea because Wario had some unfinished business.

Return to Mushroom Kingdom

Ima WAAAAARIO

A documented photo of Wario attacking L023R with his stolen car.

It had been fifty years and five minutes since Wario had been banished from the Mushroom Kingdom. With his newly assembled Wa-Team and the entire North Korean army, he was ready to get revenge. He moved in on Mushroom Kingdom and demanded Mario to come out as his hostage. What they did not know was that Mario was in his 250 year hibernation.

Wario almost started a second war, but then Superman intervened. He used an Energy Blast to wipe out all of North Korea's army. He then beat up the Wa-Team and sent them hurtling into space. They floated through space for several years until they traveled through a wormhole that brought them to the 9th Dimension.

9th Dimension

Wario on Cloud

Wario on the Throne of Lies.

Wario led the Wa-Team through this strange new environment. It was inhabited by primitive people with ancient technologies. Using their not-as-primitive brains and modern technology, the Wa-Team took over the entire 9th Dimension. Then the Wa-Games begun.

Wario sat on the Throne of Lies for over two hundred years (literally, he didn't take a step for over two hundred years). He and the Wa-Team had built a portal that let them go between the 9th Dimension and the UnUniverse. It was not uncommon for the Wa-Team to show up, kidnap a bunch of guys, and bring them back to the 9th Dimension. That's when Giygas came through the portal, and right behind him was the great T-5001 himself.

Wario commanded all of his forces to attack the two, but it was hopeless. They were trying to defeat a god and an Undefeatable using a bunch of cavemen wielding spears. The Wa-Team was sent back through the portal, plummeting to the WaWorld. Wario now lives his life as a lowly janitor in some McDonald's bathroom.

WarioWare and Enslaving

Wario then was once watching some YouTube Poop, until an Ad for Dinner Blaster popped out of nowhere. This then inspired him to make WarioWare, Inc., but no one wanted to help him, so he called all of his friends in order to help him make some Shames, and It worked, so he enslaved all of them.

One day in 2013, a couple of his workers escaped, so he grabbed two random people off the streets and replaced them with those said workers. He then gained popularity, and got a ton of money, way more than his Janitor job.

Waligion

Wario's world

What people see when they enter Wario's jail.

As Wario is a loser and no one wants to help him out making stupid crappy shames, he decided to make a ripoff of Christianity to convince people to work for him and Waluigi by divine compulsion. So he went back in time to make the Ten WaCommandments before Moses did, as well as build the purgatory for all future traitors of his Waligion.

The purgatory, which was actually a jail in Hell called WaJail was a very sophisticated prison with flushed out food, filtration, and fart systems. He had to mason the entire thing himself because Waluigi was a moron and forgot to bring his hands to work that day.

When he returned to the present to convince people to believe in him as their god, everyone saw through the obvious "go back in time and make myself god" facade and laughed at him. Jokes on them because he still kidnapped the people that make him mad by being smart.

Fatmama

the supposed appearance of his girlfriend

Love Life

Psa2haoxab421

Mikan noticing Wario for the first time.

Wario like all super sexy men[citation needed] would have a bunch of affairs with many beautiful attractive and women, all starting after he founded WarioWare Inc.'s E-dating website, hacking the code to always match everyone with himself. This wasn't very successful for Wario (the highly sought after man he is) because every woman found Wario mid, except for the woman pictured right way in his league, until she dumped him. This left Wario heartbroken for many years until Mikan Tsumiki showed up with a young figure and looked at Wario with a flushed expression.😳 Nothing came of this because she died only just weeks later from ecrixi asphyxia. (Explosion suffocation)

No matter how much he went on forums loathing not having a girlfriend, Wario would never be loved by anyone ever again, not even by his mother, making him tonight's biggest loser.

Medical Career

When the world got the Coronavirus, Wario was left broke due to WarioWare not being an essential business and he needed more money for pizza time, and came up with an amazing idea to kill this stupid virus that was ruining his life. After he forged a medical license and got accepted into hospitals around the world, he started beating to death all the patients who had the virus with a golf club and 3 silver spoons. Not after over 60 patients died and 20 went missing, they found out about this and fired him, and sentenced him to several life sentences to WaJail, his own prison. The Police arrested the hospital because they can't arrest people (only the police can).

Wario with stalin

He was great friends with Joseph Stalin!

Personality

Many assume that Wario is some greedy jerk that doesn't care about others and just wants the best for himself. These people are wrong. Wario is an extremely greedy jerk that hates others and wants better than the best for himself. Wario is also known for his battle tendency to stab his closest friends in the back (figuratively and literally) to make an extra UnDollar.

Wario also has no regard for personal hygiene, thinking it's a waste of time. He actually thinks a lot of things are a waste of time. If it doesn't give him money, he doesn't want to hear it. He is even rumored to rival Mr. Krabs in greed. Wario is also very fat. That has nothing to do with personality, but I like calling people fat.

Wario has 13 microgame$.

Powers

Abilities

Wario's Attack

Wario's Attack

  • Fart: He can let out a stinky fart. It smells so bad everyone runs away (and they lose their sense of smell).
  • Super Smell: For some inexplicable reason he is not rendered anosmic from his own farts, being that he can smell gold (as well as garlic) from a mile away.
  • Fatness: Due to an imbalance of taking in more calories than he is letting out, Wario is very fat. Though, despite dying of type 2 diabetes many times, this proves helpful as he has access to the Super Fat.
  • Super Strength: He weighs up a dumbbells and moving them so fast and activates this ability, becoming very strong.
  • Wario's Attack: Wario dresses up like a stupid-hero and then shoots out a super duper lazor from his finger. It's one of the most powerful Energy Blasts for no good reason, and murders everyone who touches it. It's theorized this is his fart energy being released by something other than his butt.
  • Immortality: Being touched by Giorno Giovanna's Golden Experience Requiem, he's blessed with having a divided by zero amount of lives. Though, occasionally he gets into fruit loops death loops.
  • Transfiguring himself into air: Wario has the ability to turn himself into air every time he claps for 10 seconds.

Forms

Wario Overalls SSB4 Render

Wario showing his muscles. Is him a fatass or a bodybuilder?

  • Super Wario: When he eats a Super Mushroom then he becomes slightly bigger. He can break bricks in this form.
  • Mega Wario: When he eats a Big Mushroom he becomes GIANT. He can literally smash an entire skyscraper in this form.
  • Mini Wario: When he eats a Small Mushroom he becomes very tiny. He can pass trough tiny warp pipes in this form.
  • Fire Wario: When he eats a Fire Flower he changes his clothes and can throw infinite fire balls.
  • Invincible Wario: When he eats a Super Star, he gets a lot of money and buys fancy cars. He also becomes invincible for a short time.
  • Raccoon Wario: When he eats a Super Leaf, his clothes change and he can fly. This is one of he most ridiculous forms of Wario.
  • White Raccoon Wario: It's just like the Super Leaf when he eats an Invincibility Leaf, but he also becomes unbeatable.
  • Bee Wario: When he eats a Bee Mushroom he turns into a bee.
  • Shell Wario: When he wears a Blue Shell, he turns into a WaKoopa.
  • Boo Wario: When he eats a Boo Mushroom, he dies. Very creepy.
  • Boomerang Wario: When he eats a Boomerang Flower, he also changes clothes. He can throw infinite boomerangs.
  • Bubble Wario: When he eats a Bubble Flower, he losses all his fatness and can float.
  • Cape Wario: When he eats a Cape Leaf, a cape sprouts from his back. Is very similar to Raccoon Wario.
  • Bunny Wario: When he eats a weird Carrot, he becomes a weird rabbit. He can jump higher, but not punch harder or live forever. He also cannot see any better.
  • Cloud Wario: When he eats a Cloud Flower, he can fart platforms.
  • Double Wario: When he eats a Double Cherry, he performs mitosis.
  • Dragon Wario: When he uses a Dragon Pot, he turns in this form. He can use his Fire Breath.
  • Sea Dragon Wario: When he eats a Dragon Crystal, he turns literally into a sea dragon. This form is stronger than Dragon Wario.
  • Drill Wario: When he eats a Drill Mushroom, a drill pops out from his head. He can drill down and break stone.
  • Eagle Wario: When he eats an Eagle Statue, he turns into an eagle, and can fly very far.
  • Elephant Wario: When he eats a Elephant Fruit, he turns into an elephant and is fatter than normal.
  • Frog Wario: When he wears a Frog Suit, he turns into a frog and can do the things frogs do.
  • Bull Wario: When he eats a Garlic Bottle or a Viking Helmet (yes he eats that too), he becomes a bull. He can run very fast.
  • Gold Wario: When he eats a Gold Flower, he gains the Midas touch.
  • Hammer Wario: When he wears a Hammer suit, he can throw infinite hammers.
  • Ice Wario: When he eats an Ice Flower, he gets brain freeze.
  • Jet Wario: When he drinks a Jet Pot, he can fly like a jet.
  • Mario Wario: When he wears Mario's cap, he turns into Mario Wario. He does this because he wants to be Mario.
  • Luigi Wario: When he wears Luigi's cap, he turns into Luigi Wario. Almost never used.
  • Metal Wario: When he wears a Metal Cap, he turns into iron.
  • Costume Wario: When he eats a Mystery Mushroom, he can disguise as a random character.
  • Propeller Wario: When he eats a Propeller Mushroom, his clothes change and he acts like a helicopter.
  • Rainbow Wario: When he pokes a Rainbow Star, he becomes gay. It works same as a Super Star.
  • Flying Wario: When he pokes a Red Star, he can fly very high; he can also go to The Void Outside the UnMultiverse.
  • Rock Wario: When he pokes a Rock Mushroom or looks at Medusa, he turns to stone. This form is weaker than Metal Wario because rock type is weak to everything.
  • Spring Wario: When he eats a Spring Mushroom, his bones break. This is very painful.
  • Statue Wario: When he holds a Statue Leaf, he turns into marble. He is invulnerable in this form, but can't move.
  • Flying Squirrel Wario: When he eats a Super Acorn, he acts like a squirrel. It's similar to Cape Wario and Raccoon Wario.
  • SuperBall Wario: When he eats a SuperBall Flower, he turns into this form. He can throw infinite Anton Balls.
  • Cat Wario: When he wears a Super Bell, he acts like a cat.
  • Builder Wario: When he eats a Super Hammer, he becomes a construction worker; he also acts like Bob the builder.
  • Tanooki Wario: When he wears a Tanooki Suit, he becomes a japanese raccoon dog. This is the worst form of Wario.
  • Vanish Wario: When he wears a Vanish Cap, he disappears.
  • Wario Wario: When he wears HIS cap, he turns into himself. THIS FORM DOES NOT HELP IF YOU'RE STUPID!
  • Weird Wario: When he eats a Weird Mushroom, he turns into this form. He looks very weird.
  • Wing Wario: When he wears a Wing Cap or drinks Red Bull, he gets wings. It's similar to Flying Wario.
  • Wario-Man: When he eats a lot of garlic, he turns into a mexican wrestler. This is the ultimate form of Wario, also is very famous in WarioWare. Not to be confused with Super Wario Man.

Death(s)

Wario Greed

Wario with lotsa food money.

Wario can't die, because of what Giorno Giovanna did to him, though, that doesn't stop the many times Wario has died. People started noticing Wario dying, and then stalked him for footage to publish on YouTube. Someone with the hold of the Death Note wrote Wario's name in there a hundred thousand times, and eventually he found out who was killing him and killed that guy.

He committed suicide in [DATA EXPUNGED] because he was sad over Waluigi committing suicide in April 10, 2011. However Wario's life now works off of a quick-save system, reloading to the previous save each time he died so he couldn't truly commit suicide and eventually gave up.

He truly died after Kat and Ana slashed him to pieces and chopped his head off; specifically in the episode We Quit!

Resurrection and formation of the Drop Dead Wario Team

Wario was resurrected for no reason. He then joined Waluigi, Boshi, and several others to form the Drop Dead Wario Team. Then they made a cartoon named The Super Wario Bros. Wah-wah Show!, which became so popular that people all over UnAmerica and even the UnWorld have to open their television to watch the show.

The Drop Dead Wario Team fought The Great War of the Yo-Guys against YoWario's team.

President of North Korea

Country Founded

:3

1642-1646

(1646-Today)

King of the 9th Dimension

Cavemen and Ancient Geeks

(47285 BC-1696 AD)

:3

1696-1907

(1907-Today)

Description
Description
The Wario Gang[ / ]
Good guys [ / ]
Wa-places [ / ]
Lean Minions [ / ]
Player characters [ / ]
Ash Ketchum - Leaf - Chase - Elaine - Ethan - Kris - Lyra - Brendan - May - Leonardo DiCaprio - Dawn - Hilbert - Hilda - Nate - Rosa - Calem - Serena - Elio - Sailor Saturn - Vicky - Scottish Pokemon Trainer - Reimu Hakurei - AkaRed - Prince Florian - Juliet
Pokegirls [ / ]
Misty - May - Dawn - Iris - Serena - Lillie - Chloe - Liko
The Poker - Rokit - Meowth - Buzz Lightyear - Mario Head - Wario - Waluigi - Brock - Mega Man - Swiper
Team Plasma [ / ]
N - Ghetsis - Grover - Brody Foxx - Ron - Z - Giant Poop Koopa - Ryu - Colress - Shadow - Earthworm Jim
Phillip II - Mary I - Katy - Brassius - Iono - Kofu - Larry - Ryme - Tulip - Grusha - Rika - Poppy Lovegood - Hassel - Geeta - Allister - Skyla - Sabrina - Salina
Advertisement