War of 1812





Nothing Came Out of This

Major battles
  • Siege of New York
  • Battle of Western Germany
  • Capture of UnAmerica
  • Battle of the White House

United States of UnAmerica




Sir Penguin

The War of 1812 was an epic fail of a conflict that took place during 1812, obviously. It was fought between the Americans, the Germans, and the Antarcticans.

Build-Up and Cause

In 1808, two years before the war, Nathan Drake was elected as the United States President, their third, to be exact. He lived up to the people's expectations, much like future President Andrew Jackson, but was often argued about in the Continental Congress for being power hungry.

Eventually, Drake wrote the Constitution of Randomness, in which he ordered everyone in the United States to go treasure hunting. The Congress disliked this idea, but they could not argue with the President.

In early 1812, the current Fuhrer of Germany, Vendetta Williams, was shot and assassinated by a group of oblivious American explorers. Adolf Hitler, the vice-Fuhrer, was elected Fuhrer are and ordered the Rugrats, his terrorist group, to launch an invasion on New York City, starting the war.


The Siege of New York

The Rugrats, led by Thomas J. Pickles, sent 2,000 soldiers to New York to fight. A German siege was caused in Times Square, New York City. However, the U.S. troops, led by Alec Baldwin III, managed to outnumber the Germans 10 to 1, defeating them. Some major losses in this battle for Germany were John Trevolta and Samuel Westing, and some major losses for the UnAmerican forces were Alec Trevelyan and Hans Wilhem. The Rugrats and Germans were chased out of UnAmerica. 

Battle of Western Germany

Shortly after the Siege of New York, President Drake ordered the entire military to attack Germany. Every last soldier, boat, tank, gun, plane, and missile was sent all at the same time. The UnAmericans spread throughout the western half of Germany, and won with ease.

Capture of UnAmerica

Unfortunately for UnAmerica, their president was too much of an idiot to realize that he left the country defenseless. Most nations were too smart to go and provoke a country like that, but Antarctica sent their army out, and they captured UnAmerica. But then, the army came back, and blew the penguins up.

UnAmerica was restored, but not for long, because the Rugrats were back, and they had very large bombs. They blew up several places before Antarctica stopped them, thinking they still had control of UnAmerica.

The Battle of the White House

Eventually, Antarctica pushed Germany back to the White House, and the UnAmerican army blew them both up. After this, they decided to negotiate a peace treaty.


Eventually, they realized this entire war was over complete stupidity. President Drake, Adolf Hitler, Sir Penguin all signed The Treaty of Wow, That Was Stupid of Us. It pointed out that their fighting had no point, and that they will be friends. All three countries forgot about this treaty a few minutes later, so all this war did was lost lives. 200 years after this war, The Terrifying War of 2012 was commenced by Barack Obama and Hitler's clone, which resulted in the end of the world.

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