- Not be confused with WaLuigi.
WAHHHH!
—Waluigi
WAHHAHAHAHAH!
—Waluigi
WALUIGI NUMABAH WAHN!!!
—Waluigi
Waluigi is Wario's anorexic younger brother who has repeatedly been convicted of criminal stupidity. In a culinary context, a Waluigi is a bad-tasting and often poisonous kind of English Muffin. Waluigi thinks that he is cool, suave, and attractive, but he is really ugly and annoying and doesn't know how to write an L (he writes it Γ). Nobody likes him, so he constantly whines about it.
So far, Waluigi has only appeared in crappy sports shames, but he became the damsel in distress in Super Mario 130, because Waluigi was busy wearing a dress due to his clothing haven been stolen, so he was mistaken for Peach and placed in the role. He has his own shames, Super Waluigi World (which sucked incredibly) and Dead WaNess (which only kinda sucked).
Creation
During the Videogame War, Luigi's primary enemies were Queen and King Boo. But, following their defeat, Luigi was in need of a new nemesis. So, the shame designers created Waluigi in an attempt to give Luigi a super-cool foe. However, they failed horribly. The designers tried to get rid of Waluigi by putting him in the trash can, but he came back out. They had no choice. They were now stuck with Waluigi, an uncool, tall, clunky loser in desperate need of deodorant. So they sent him back to the womb to be rebirthed.
Biography
Birth
Waluigi was reported to be the oldest baby ever born, birthed at the age of 50 years old. However, the doctors injected him with medicine that made his body a baby except for his head. His father also colored his nose pink with a marker. He was never circumcised.
Childhood
As a child, Waluigi hated his father's food because it was yucky, so he give all of his food to his brother to eat. Because of this, he became skinnier than Nicole Richie and even more paler than an Olsen Twin. Scared as a child, Waluigi escaped the first chance he got. He ran away to Nintendo's headquarters in Albuquerque, where they made him a videoshame star. In high school he studied lots of trigonometry because he thought that it was the study of triggering feminists. He however became a great mathematician after this, and is revered by the likes of The Numbertaker. Unfortunately he'd do stupid crap rather than solve the world's problems.
Mr. Γ
When Waluigi found out Luigi became cool when he became Mr. L, Waluigi got jealous, and jumped into the vortex that made Mr. L to become Mr. Γ. As Mr. Γ he is cooler than he normally is, as well as eviler. He makes his minions using the Wa-energy that powers the Wa-Machine.
The -10 UnDollar bill
Waluigi is always trying to cheat at everything, even money. He was always making things worth -10 UnDollars, so he got 10 UnDollars every time he bought something. Because of this, the -10 UnDollar was invented so he couldn't cheat them out of money. As it wouldn't have been created if it weren't for him, his face was put on it in his "honour".
Comic
Waluigi read Fullmetal Alchemist and thought it was awesome, but he was jealous he didn't come up with it himself. (He was also frustrated his Transmutation Circles weren't working.) So, he decided he was going to make his own series of comics that were even cooler, filled with tales of all the times Waluigi won and all the time Waluigi did laundry. He called it "Waluigi; The Way of the Wah". Nobody read it because it was obviously very boring, stupid and fake. Only 1 page exists with all the rest being reabsorbed into Waluigi's soul.
Other info that only some tiny moron that nobody cares about cares about
Waluigi is friends with WaDaisy and WaPeach, and his girlfriend is half a Toaster. He used the Wa-Machine to make WaWaluigi (whose girlfriend is a quarter of a toaster). Waweegee and Waguiyii are Fakegee versions of him. He also made a giant robot of himself which throws BOMBS.
He became a Twitch Streamer Unfortunately during one of his runs, a pinball hit him straight in the balls and he had to be castrated. He won the world record in DestroyYourNutsack%. He would later turn to table tennis.
Death
He died from his injuries from standing up and yelling WAAA. He respawned in a port in New Guinea, where he was broke and had no money so he became a Minecraft Fisherman. He would post many raw cod clips at this time, as well as raw pufferfish. Eventually though Waluigi decided fishing was too boring so then he jumped off a bridge and decided to become a fish himself for the next 12 years and appear in The Little Mermaid. (This is how he learnt how to swim by the way)
In 2011, he killed himself after going on DeviantArt and seeing R34 drawings of him and Toadette. He later decided that being dead is boring, so he came back and got a job at World of Goo Corporation.
Trivia
- He likes to drink a homemade smoothie made with loose cream, napkin squeezings, and ketchup water.
- It was confirmed in a 2018 interview that he sees shadowy figures around certain people.
Gallery
