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| − | <p style="line-height:19.5px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;">''' |
+ | <p style="line-height:19.5px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;">'''[[File:Fat-mobile.jpg|thumb|The Walmart fatmobile, accomodating recipients of disability checks due to obesity resulting from too many donuts and oreos. It's a vicious circle, no matter how you look at it. |
| + | ]]WalMart''' (aka '''WehrMacht''' and '''Fartmart''') was the fifth of the Seven Plagues of Egypt. It began in 1312 BC when Moses said to Pharaoh, "Let my People Shop," and Pharaoh said "No," so God created a plague Wal-Mart in five and a half days as a curse to punish the ancient Egyptians for their great wickedness.</p> |
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<p style="margin-top:0.4em;margin-bottom:0.5em;line-height:19.5px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;">Unfortunately, in modern times, the curse, after laying dormant for many centuries, has been re-awakened in the United States by the first Antichrist of Arkansas, Sam Walton. Responses from [[God]] have not been forthcoming, since he has been on an intergalactic cruise since the afternoon of the sixth day and cannot be reached for comment. Wal-Mart has continued to spread its contagion well into present times where its Kudzu-like habits have been known to smother entire voting districts. Wal-mart has also been known to cause outbursts of insanity and psychopathic behaviour in some of it's staff.</p> |
<p style="margin-top:0.4em;margin-bottom:0.5em;line-height:19.5px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;">Unfortunately, in modern times, the curse, after laying dormant for many centuries, has been re-awakened in the United States by the first Antichrist of Arkansas, Sam Walton. Responses from [[God]] have not been forthcoming, since he has been on an intergalactic cruise since the afternoon of the sixth day and cannot be reached for comment. Wal-Mart has continued to spread its contagion well into present times where its Kudzu-like habits have been known to smother entire voting districts. Wal-mart has also been known to cause outbursts of insanity and psychopathic behaviour in some of it's staff.</p> |
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Revision as of 01:08, 23 December 2012
The Walmart fatmobile, accomodating recipients of disability checks due to obesity resulting from too many donuts and oreos. It's a vicious circle, no matter how you look at it.
WalMart (aka WehrMacht and Fartmart) was the fifth of the Seven Plagues of Egypt. It began in 1312 BC when Moses said to Pharaoh, "Let my People Shop," and Pharaoh said "No," so God created a plague Wal-Mart in five and a half days as a curse to punish the ancient Egyptians for their great wickedness.
Unfortunately, in modern times, the curse, after laying dormant for many centuries, has been re-awakened in the United States by the first Antichrist of Arkansas, Sam Walton. Responses from God have not been forthcoming, since he has been on an intergalactic cruise since the afternoon of the sixth day and cannot be reached for comment. Wal-Mart has continued to spread its contagion well into present times where its Kudzu-like habits have been known to smother entire voting districts. Wal-mart has also been known to cause outbursts of insanity and psychopathic behaviour in some of it's staff.
The world population will be doomed to slavery as long as irresistible $5 DVDs are sold at Wal-Mart.
Recently Wal-Mart has become venereal in the form of the Wal-Mart Monster. Be careful! He takes what he wants and sells it for less!
In 2003, Wal-Mart was labeled as a Weapon of Mass Destruction.