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Wamachien

There's science in this $h!t

The Wa-Machine is an evil device Wario made when he decided he was bored one morning. Whenever he throws someone in, it makes a WaRuiji (Japanese for evil doppelganger) of that person. They're like regular people, but they have Wa in their names, so they are evil, just like Wario. The machine is very similar to the Fusion-Machine 9000. NintenDON'T claims the Wa-Machine is a rip off of their Fusion-Machine 9000, but we all know NintenDON'T is full of it.

Creation

The Wa-Machine was created when the spirit known as WaRui came into contact with the blender when he flew into his kitchen and folded his wings. Unbeknownst to him, they were right above the blender, which turned on when a beetle crawled onto the Power button. The destruction of WaRui's wings caused a massive tornado which, to this day, appears from within the Wa-Machine whenever the lid is popped off. This tornado has been known to suck anyone in front of the Wa-Machine into its depths.

Modification

In 1982, Wario found the Wa-Machine and decided to modify it. He made it bigger, more powerful, and far more
WaSpongeBob

WaSpongeBob

dangerous with the use of an MRI scanner he stole from Dr. House. This MRI scanner apparently scanned Wa-'s spirit, which was still inside the blender, and converted it into Wa-Radiation for some unknown reason. Scientists are currently researching the reason behind this phenomenon.

Appearances

The Wa-Machine appears in Dragon Quest: UnAnything Edition as a collectible item. It sucks enemies up like a vacuum cleaner and can release them as projectiles. It also appears in Super Wario Bros. and its sequel, Super Wario Bros. Strike Back, as a weapon owned by the Koopa Mafia. In the former, it is used to create WaWario and WaWaluigi, while in the latter, it is used to create WaBowarigi and Bowarigi. It is apparently difficult to hijack, with Po being the only one who can.

2.0

In 2021, Wario made the Wa-Machine 2.0 and moved to a new factory. He started making more Wa-Clones at a faster rate than before, and to allow the birth of 6(Wa)Tinky Winky.

Mass-produced versions

The Kittehlandian division of IKEA sells "build your own Wa-Machine" kits. These versions are cheap at $1,000, but they work surprisingly well. However licensing would expire in 2021, leaving consumers to buy "construct thy own Wa-Machine 2.0" kits directly from WarioWare, Inc.

Settings

The Wa-Machine has 4 settings:

  • Clone: The Wa-Machine makes an exact copy of whoever is inside it, can be combined with the lower two options if you just want to have a wa-version of something and still keep the original. When combined with Wa-ify it's called a WaClone.
  • Wa-ify: The Wa-Machine makes injects 3.33% of WaRui of whoever is inside it. Notable examples can be found here. A bug is that after 5 wa-ifications, the next wa-guy usually will asplode. This got fixed in the 2.0 version.
  • UnWa-ify: Makes the person normal again by taking 3.33% WaRui out, can be used to make such people as Bowarigi, the "normalized" version of WaBowarigi. If you try to remove WaRui from something that doesn't have any inside them, you might be stupider than The Stupid One.
  • Fusion Clone: The Wa-Machine makes a clone that is a fusion of all the things that it has sucked up. No equivalent exists in the Wa-Machine 2.0 due to how that one operates.
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