Chapter I - Prologue
One day, Mario was walking in to a mushroom bar, but a satanic symbol appeared and Waluigi jumped out of the fiery pits of Hell. Waluigi then took him back to the fiery pits of hell, and then tried kissing him. Mario slapped him, and said "ARE YOU-A CRAZY IN-A THE HEAD?" And Waluigi replied "wah!".
Mario then BLJ'd out of hell faster than the Road Runner. Coincidentally enough, he saw the Road Runner runnin' around. He said "Meep, meep!" and Mario went on his back like Mario would on Yoshi. Oh, the days... Mario then ran off, and proceeded to BLJ while WAHOO'ing and whilst doing so combining his speed with that of the Road Runner to create a faster than light express.
Mario then stopped at The Town with No Name. He didn't know how, but he was there. This starts..
Chapter II - The Town With No Name
Mario immediately went into the Town with absolute disgust. He saw some really ugly people; and shot them. However, he had the mistake of shooting the local priest.. none other than, his brother. Absolutely horrified at this sight that his brother had sided with these ugly people and had turned into so himself.
Horrified, he ran away from the Town, disgusted and angered that he had killed his brother, and that it was all the ugly people's fault. However, it was secretly all part of a ploy to drive Mario away. Luigi was secretly not dead all along..
And so this story descended into sadness as Mario kept drinking and drinking, so far to the point of reaching farther than the limits beyond comprehension after drinking 1 googolplex's worth of beer.. in ONE DAY.
Our Mario had a heart attack, however, and was rushed into the hospital. Whilst recovering, Mario decided to have an adventurer's life.. to save the princess.
Chapter III - All Over Again
Mario woke up to find a Movie Yoshi standing over his hospital bed. "Weegee has kidnapped the princess!" it said, eyes wide as the knife it was holding. Mario was threatened by the Movie Yoshi; he needed to save the princess, and real fast! He ventured off, crawling slowly off his hospital bed to save the princess.
Once he had regained control of his legs, he ventured on a quest to step on the Goombas and Koopa Troopas set up by Weegee. Cliché, right? WRONG! Mario did not know that he had ventured into 1985 again, suddenly after his horrible heart attack. Was he dead and reliving his life?
He had reached the first boss; his very own shadow. Not really his actual shadow, but a warped version of his true self. Mario wasn't trying to save the princess; he was trying to save his sanity.