—Nintendo, being represented by Us
—Us
Scary You Cannot Beat Us Commercial for Nintendo
His only surviving advertisement.
Us is a former Australian spokesman for Nintendo. He is one of the UnWorld's greatest un-players, cuz he's never been beaten in a shame and that's why he was hired. Before shames existed Us played Solitaire, and even then he was unbeatable too. That's also the reason why he's part of the Unbeatables, because YOU CANNOT BEAT HIM! Us was named after the United States because his parents envisioned him to be wealthy, prosperous, and fartitudinous. The only shame Us ever worked on was Among Us. Us is also the largest galactic real estate owner, as CATS often repossesses people's base (no treble) to Us.
Personality[]
Us has a cocky, descending personality, which he earned from beating everyone at everything—even your robot partner even his coworker He who he beat to a promotion. His catchphrases "You cannot beat Us" and "All your base are belong to Us" are perfect encapsulations of his soul-crushing nature. Also, all your base are belong to him.
Appearance[]
The only likeness of Us that we're aware of is his advertisement form, where he had a rectangular face and a mullet. His brown hair color used to be more of a blond, however it's darkened with age. He used to have a really big head, but after drinking enough 5-hour Energy it became normal sized again.
Biography[]
Early History[]
Us was born June 1st, 1960. He comes from an era where there were no video shames, thus for now, Us was unbeaten. But that changed when Pong came out (the shames part: not the unbeaten part). Us played Chess against his classmates at school and against his family. He used a rare technique called "En Poisson" to make his opponent turn into a fish before they could checkmate him. They didn't let Us play at nationals because of that, so he switched to playing tetherball for a while.
Shaming Career[]
Pong came out and Us beat people at that too. His head got really big so that his ears could hear the electrical currents inside the shame, and so that his brain could process them too. The closest Us ever got to being beaten was when the ball glitched out from cosmic rays. Even if that did count (which it didn't) he sent his own counter-rays to reflip the bits, thus Us remained unbeaten.
The next shame Us was notably not beaten at was Space Invaders. He got to the highest level and they ran out of Space Invaders to send out, so the shame told him to come back later when they're mmmm, richer. 4 hours later (we know it was 5 hours because Us drank a 5-hour Energy an hour ago and it ran out when the shame started up again) they got 13,000 Space Invaders and Us shot every single one down in an epic 6 hour long battle. That was when the shame finally told him that Us won, and then the thing exploded. Us was going to play more Space Invaders, but he thought that shame was boring so went back to playing Pong.
Pac-Man came out, and Us got to the kill screen of that. He took his magnum out on the shame and told it it isn't over. The shame didn't listen, because shames aren't alive and you can't make them do things. So he waited... and waited... and there was a blackout. So technically it was a draw. He tried again, but this time the arcade cabinet exploded.
Being Hired by Nintendo[]
Nintendo had noticed his prowess and hired him as a sort of ambassador for the company, because back then shames were Nintendo Hard® and they needed someone at the trade shows and stuff to show people Donkey Kong wasn't impossible. He showed players how to make Mario take his medication on the 116th level so that he didn't have a heart attack on the 117th one. Attendees liked him so much that Nintendo that they made several advertisements based on his likeness, using state of the art computer generated graphics paired with a voiceover of some guy doing a robot impression.
By now Us was in his late 20's, and shames were just kids toys, so he stopped shaming and left Nintendo. It's not known what Us did next, but nobody really cares about what he was doing from 1933 to 1945.
Becoming Unbeatable[]
Super 17 watched his commercial in a creepy commercial compilation and thought Us might still be unbeatable, so he started tracking him down to add to his alliance: the Unbeatables. He aimed his Zapper gun unbeatable radar to track Us, and lo and behold, it found him. He challenged him to a duel, but Us didn't specialize in duels so they both played Puyo Puyo Tetris instead, with Us playing Tetris because it was funner and Super 17 playing Puyo Puyo because it was easier. Super 17 lost and said it didn't count, so challenged him to boxing instead. Us said that that wasn't fair and offered to play Chess instead. Instead of doing Chess Boxing or Chess Bowling, they instead decided to play "what color am I thinking of?". Both of them lost because they were colorblind. No, they both instead decided to play Peggle. Us won after a boring pegging, and so was let into the Unbeatables.
Currently, the only notable thing Us has ever done is acquire more property from CATS for use for Unbeatable space developments.
Trivia[]
- He thinks Nintendo is the ultimate TV shame system.
- Us is friends with Laughing Dog, Smick, Lakitu, and Bowser.
- Us is enemies with R.O.B. plus the guy who filed the Zapper gun patent.