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The Undefeatable Council is not related to anything about or associated with the Undefeatables or its Counsels. Rather, it is a counseling service for highschoolers who are complete FAILURES. It helps students who have bad grades, want to die, or have saddening. It was created by the UnUS government as a corporation that works to increase the grades of high school students. They research to find why current students (mostly males) suck at school and why Europoor schools are better.
This is actually a front by the UnUS Military to secretly build super unlegal weapons due to an incoming World War against a big threat. Its real name is Operation: Ultimate Cannon since it builds cannons.
Background[]
This thing actually stems way back to when the UnUnited Nations was created after WWII. Almost all of the members agreed to an equal rights thingy except for N'Murica and some others. For this, the USUnA never fully trusted that the UnUnited Nations was as epic as it could be.
The United States of UnAmerica felt that the laws regarding weapons coming from the UnUnited Nations and stupid UnEuropean Union deciding to just try out not making a military so that their enemies also won't start war were really stupid. UnAmerica could see the writing on the wall, that the UnEU is dissolving, so the President made the Ultimate Cannon initiative to secretly make super powerful weapons that happened to be illegal. The problem was that it was a big initiative, and its aspects and initiators were spread thin. So, some guy thought about other issues plaguing the nation and he came to the conclusion that to make the Ultimate Cannon more secretive, it should become a counseling service for high schools. This would fix the stupid children in high school, he thought. He told the President his thought and he agreed.
The purpose of the useless feature of high school is to hide the fact that UnAmerica was making illegal asplosives. To do this, the government needed to hire counselors who weren't smart enough to poke around. Luckily, there were plenty of therapists who needed a better way to make money, so the government scooped them up and put them into a bunch of high schools to take the counseling position.
The Name[]
The phrase "Undefeatable Council" implies that this is a council. However, it is not a council, it is a counseling service. The President couldn't be bothered to actually fix the mistake made by the guy in charge of the Ultimate Cannon.
Anyway, this corporation does have a council for the president of the Undefeatable Council and the lower positions such as vice president, major manager, and shareholders. They do stuff.
What This Does[]
The Undefeatable Council does counseling for stupid high school students all in order to improve the grades of the children of UnAmerica and make the country as smart as it was in 2021, which tells how horrid the brain drain of UnAmerica is; that the government wants to go back to 2021 education standards. Improving kids' education is hard and expensive and could potentially create a war in the college systems, but that is a sacrifice the government is willing to make. The Undefeatable Council does research about why male students fale at school more than girls, why UnAmerica fails more than the rest of the world, and so on and so forth. The government might have employed good scientists to find this out, we'll just have to see the results of such tests.
The Ultimate Cannon makes weapons that would be considered illegal under the UnUnited Nations' rules, but UnAmerica is using the Undefeatable Council to keep the weapons manufacturing a secret. They make the most powerful guns, tanks, and battleships, and battleship tanks using new technologies made with the recently discovered Trumpium, Bidium, and Obamium. Those metals are only found in UnAmerica and Canada, but UnAmerica owns all of the deposits and is never going to export them to the cowardly UnEU out of fear that those countries will just make a stupid peace statue out of them.
Leadership[]
School Therapying Thing[]
The president of the Undefeatable Council is Joseph Stalin since he needed a new job and the government thought it would be good optics, even though they would be appealing only to redditors. His prior qualifications included winning WWII and being leader of the Soviet Union for some amount of time. But he really wanted this job so he could become enemies with Gorbachev, the guy who replaced him as leader of Soviet Russia. Joe thought that the UnUSA and Soviet Russia were still in a war for some reason. The government knew this guy was not a good leader, so they gave all the important power to the lower position of major manager, who included the MythBusters. The government made sure that the MythBusters knew what they were doing when they were coerced (forced) into becoming child psychologists. The MythBusters did lots of experiments on teenager behavior. Don't worry, they did blow stuff up, cause that's the epic thing to do. And by blow up, I mean blow up children's brains, as in, expanding their brains so they can fit more stuff in there, like learning stuff, memories, you understand!
Big Cannon[]
The leaders of the Ultimate Cannon include Dr. Large, Medic, and Medic, for their experience in the extremely deadly Mexican Gravel Wars and Team Fortress 2 and their superior intellect among the officials of the federal government and their ability to keep secrets. Dr. Large was a smart, and scary guy who designed various death weapons for use during Team Fortress 2. He got hired by the president because the weapons he made were extremely effective and the UnUSA could use that intellect for its own needs. Medic was hired for his expertise in healing and hurting during the Gravel Wars. He had access to drugs that could instantly heal bullet holes and stop bleeding, though they had the side effect of causing eye bleeding after some time. The government wanted to use and refine those drugs so that there were only benefits. Festive Medic was hired because he could sing OKTOBER FIRST, and the president really liked that, but he also has super healing drugs in the form of a medical gun that shoots a homing beam of ze healing at humans. The healing was way slower than Medic's drugs, but there were no side effects.
Results[]
Counselling Thing[]
They were so close to figuring out how to make children smarter and why boys are bad at school, which is why it was so unfortunate that aliens came to UnEarth to steal the MythBusters and Joseph Stalin. It was not UnAmerica's day that day. Now, the UnAmerican school system will never get good even though the Department of Education gets hundreds of billions of dollars in allowance and investigated themselves and found no corruption. Too bad, you tried your best.
Ultimate Secret[]
The Ultimate Cannon eventually got found out by some guys on 4chan who had too much time on their hands. They expected something eviler than weapons manufacturing, like MKUltra 2 or underground Mega Satanism. Their findings became public and known to the UnUnited Nations. They threatened the president of UnAmerica to stop the project, or else. The president knew that UnAmerica owned the UnUnited Nations, and it would be tactically idiotic to quit making such weapons, so he said screw you cowards, then the UnUnited Nations sent him a letter suggesting him to quit the Ultimate Cannon, and then the president sent a letter that just said NUTS!
The Undefeatable Council would be destroyed and turned into a private company after that. The Ultimate Cannon would be joined with the normal weapons manufacturing thingies and companies, greatly increasing efficiency.
Trivia[]
- Enemies of UnAmerica want to destroy this thing!
- and the allies of UnAmerica want to destroy this thing?