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UnAnything Wiki
UnAnything Wiki

UnBritish Royalty

The United Kingdom of Great UnBritain and Northern UnIreland, commonly shortened to UnBritain, or the UnUnited Kingdom, is a small country that has been combating the usual interpretation that "small=insignificant" through odd behaiviour and world domination for centuries. It is famed for being home to many celebrities, including Jeremy Clarkson, Winston Churchill, Margaret Thatcher, Doctor Who, and Wallace and Gromit. It is the proud creator of Fish and Chips, a recipe it has kept hidden from the rest of the UnWorld using incomprehensible British combat, which they enjoy practicing on foreigners. Oh, and Ireland used to be part of it too.

Britain owns Bermuda, which has been a popular tax haven since Switzerland joined the UnEU.


Early times

Milena ago, the land that would become the UnUnited Kingdom was notorious for never staying in the hands of its latest conqueror more than a century before another conqueror came and took over it all over again. This practice was brought to a close by William the Conqueror, who bashed anyone who tried to have a go at him, resulting in everyone else saying "Err, I wouldn't want to get on the wrong of 'im", and William became the country's first King. William also declared that when he died, his closest relative would take over, and that he thump anyone who said otherwise. His descendants said likewise, and so the country has remained under royal rule ever since. For centuries the country thrived under a regime of drinking, eating, and fighting, eventually becoming so fond of these things that King Henry VIII found it easiest to solve his relationship problems by chopping his current wife's head off, and looking for a new one. Meanwhile, his Daughter Ashley is discovered to be a Witch, so Ashley does a Fake Suicide in order to not get dunked on by Sans. Ashley then Hides in the New 13 Colonies.

Things get complicated

Things went on happily like this for a while, with the country's sailors traveling overseas to find other countries and batter them into submission, after it was suggested by the genius inventor Benedict Wigglestein Robotnik, as part of an evil plan to fill the country with factories and mines, worked by the children left behind. This succeeded, and Robotnik was even able to master his genetic engineering experiments, creating more children, including the evil Robotnik Kids, and then proceeded to have all the children refer to him as their father from that point. However, orphan Mario Panciera led a revoloution, killing "Pappy" and restoring the country to it's previous state, though the Robotnik Kids escaped with their father's genetic engineering notes to continue the Robotnik name. The revolutionaries then sailed away to UnAmerica to found Kids Country, though Mario and his brother sailed to the Mushroom Kingdom. Things seemed to be back on track, but then Charles I had an argument with his Parliament, and since "OIM KING OI CAN DO WOT I LIKE YE BUMWIPE" Charles shut down Parliament and kicked out all its members. Its members were none too happy about this, and decided to get into a massive fight with Charles. Soon the whole country had joined in this colossal fight, and thus began the English Civil War. Unfortunately for Charles, he lost, so his head got chopped off. Charles' opponent in the war, Oliver Cromwell, a "grumpy, fun-hating ugly bloke", became "Protector", because kings were one of the many things he hated. Cromwell promptly banned Christmas, parties, and fun in general, so when he died, his former subjects celebrated and told their friends and neighbors everything they hated about the man, beginning the British tradition about saying unkind things about people once they're dead. Charles I's party animal son, Charles II then became king and to make sure he won, he chopped Cromwell's head off, even though he was already dead, and brought back all the fun stuff. However, Parliament now had more power, and got even more as time went on. Then the fun was sort of spoiled by the Great Plague killing loads of people, but luckily the Great Fire of London killed all the plague off.

The Industrial revolution

After the Georgians had created beautiful buildings and made the countryside look lovely, the Victorians were left with the bother of improving the cities. Queen Victoria promptly solved this problem by using the leftover plans of the late Papa Robotnik to fill the cities of the country with factories. Problems soon arose however, as UnAmerica declared war for independence from the country's rule, which they eventually got using their own take on British violence, by giving it a drunken and wild twist. At this moment, Britain was split forever by their separate reactions: some began using snobbery, sneering in haughty disgust at the "degenerate rednecks", declaring themselves above such petty belligerence, and never even dreaming of such mongrel-like behavior. Others began to argue their side of the matter to the UnAmericans, while others simply decided to beat the UnAmericans at their own game, but using the classic British violence. Thus, the Upper, Middle, and Working class were created.

Wars start

A little way down the line, the Great War broke out, and eager to get in on the action, every fit man in the country was soon off to fight Germany, or being called a wuss back home. This marvelous notion was soon being spoiled by the simple fact that trench warfare killed most of the soldiers horribly. Eventually though, Germany surrendered, and eager to get a bit of revenge, the Prime Minister went to a meeting with the other winners to put the blame for the war on Germany and make them pay for everything. This pleased UnBritain, but it was soon spoiled when Adolf Hitler, who hadn't been too happy about the whole affair, became furher of Germany, and decided to invade Europe with his friends. Soon UnBritain was back at war, while the people back home were getting bombed by the Germans. Luckily though, when Hitler died Germany didn't feel so brave any more, and surrendered again. The UnBritish promptly held a big party, while others went to laugh at Hitler's grave. From this point, the country's armies had to leave Europe to fight wars, which eventually led to the UnBritish getting help from the Daleks in return for influence in Morton on the Marsh.

Modern day

From this point on, things went well. Doctor Who came to the counry in the 60's, and despite being an unlegal immigrant, his UnBritish accent and his eccentric clothes guaranteed that he was given UnBritish nationality. Tesco appeared, and started mimicing the Cybermen without their consent, while the country enjoyed the entertainment offered from Mr. Bean and Dick and Dom. Since cars and stupidity were so popular, Top Gear was created, and it's presenters still influence the country's motoring habits today. And very recently, the UnUnited Kingdom was the host of the Olympics, a fact they have been gloating to the rest of the world about ever since, and seeing how the opening ceremony was one of the greatest things to grace television, UnAmerica had to make another voyage through space to save it's pride.

It got took over by Billy Mays as the new prime minister in 2015. Not so much changed when Billy Mays came to unlimited power other than the increase of Oxi-Clean sales. After this the monarch Queen Victoria died and then King Frost was put in place as the next monarch. Billy Mays didn't like the idea of there being a monarch still in 2016, King Frost explained he was just there to be the new public relations guy.