Twiba staring at herself in the mirror, preparing to plot her next move.
Twiba using telekinesis on a cuckoo clock while wearing a shoddy piece of orange carpet.
Twiba in somebody's tree.
Twiba's Facebook account
Twiba as present on the preeminent Mona Twiba
Twiba as presented in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics.
CAAAAAAAN YOOOOOUUU DIG IIIIT???
—Twiba, delivering a speech
Twiba (The Worm In Big's Apple) McTwiggleton Twangledangle Tinglididdle Squirmadirm Blerbadorm Worm is a Dig-It totalitarian dictator, politician, construction worker, excavator, singer-songwriter, spy, money launderer, terrorist, ritual performer, indoctrinator, chef, cooking show host, government overthrower, slavemaster, amongst a profusion of other nickel-and-dime professions. Quite the jack of all trades, nevertheless the master of all. Well, maybe not of overthrowing Chuck Norris.
Twiba, on first glance, appears to be mentally sick in the head, and is rather renowned for this mental disorderliness. No matter how many times the doctors perform a lobotomy, she prevails in coming across as insane, although that is merely a cover for the many a spark of cunning intelligence that triggers in her mind, for she is a skilled fabricator of untruths that proselytise her autotheistic, "Dig-Itist" faith accumulated throughout her lifespan as a result of her ever-escalating amour propre, as the Fr*nch would imperiously label it.
Twiba has a place in her fat, fruity apple heart not only for herself, but for the wellbeing of the Dig-It Empire of which she is the Supreme Overlord, often recruiting members of her own species, the Dig-Its, to amalgamate as one for their notorious acts of deadly excavation, her intentions being for anyone outside of any of her organisations to be oblivious to their shifty machinations, giving barbaric, authoritarian regulations to others and forcing the Dig-It doctrine down the throat of every outsider who refuses to obey her every command.
More often than not does Twiba repose in the remnants of Dig-It Land - where her august, ostentatious leisure palace is situated, from within the deepest depths of the Dig-It Dungeon - far, far away from any distance where enemies could even dream of making the squattest slice of mincemeat out of her.
Appearance[]
Twiba possesses the appearance of a typical Dig-It, although with some distinctive additions; Twiba lives inside of a fresh, juicy, red apple which she squirms her long, yellow body around in. This red fruit is used for warmth during the winter, as a shield against the nasties, and for of course, digging it. Twiba's trademark feature is her orange, fluffy wig. She has pink, big lips and pink eyeshadow and large eyelashes.
Powers[]
An extensive, questionable habit of storing eggs inside of her gluteus maximus for whatever destructional objective she has for the future justifies Twiba's perceptible, infamous malodour.
Twiba is also renowned for her appetite of large, preferably unprocessed live penguins and other livestock, which she bludgeons into her big-lipped, tiny, insignificant mouth with the power of Size Manipulation, a superhuman capability of which the invertebrate dictator is in possession - hence why her height customarily varies but mostly stands at about 80 foot in most situations.
She has the ability to perpetually win every competitive shame held in the UnUniverse, be that a shame or a race - Twiba will straightforwardly gain the palm, regardless of the situation - however this competence is saved for the more atypical of events.
Life[]
Early life and rise to power[]
Archaeologist evidence shows Twiba's origins to have dated back to roughly 6,000,000,415 BC, long before the genesis of the majority of contemporary planetary systems, upon her materialisation from the wormhole that engendered all present-day Dig-It life. During this point in time, many Dig-Its lacked the ability to anticipate the Juggernaut Twiba would become in due course, and thus disregarded her plentiful endeavors at world domination - something every Dig-It wanted a piece of in these days of yore. The would-be totalitarian dictator achieved most triumph in her enslaving two derelict Dig-Its (who would go on to be known as Twimba and Twomba in future) and forcing them to fulfil her every wish. It was with this augmentation in the demand for a formally established governmental structure that the Dig-Its proposed to elect a Leader in order to represent the apple-dwelling invertebrates as a race, and through this Twiba sought an opportunity to propagate her fascist ideologies to the masses. Despite her arduous attempts, however, Twtian, a more primal, "neeky" Dig-It as nicknamed by his classmates, propagandised himself as the Dig-It Leader in a manner not so democratic out of vengeance for all of the bullying to which he was victim during his curricular days. Infuriated by this, Twiba self-imposed herself as the Leader in Twtian's stead, after expoiting her two "wacky and goofy assistants" to assassinate Twtian, an exploit which proved unsuccessful seeing as the self-absorbed git had absconded to the UnWorld where he would eventually find retreat in showbiz. Consequently, Twiba victoriously indoctrinated every individual on the surface and in the underground of Dig-It Land into the creed that she was the supreme dynast of the planet's wormy populace, and was coronated as such that night at the Himalayas where she had invited every single one of her followers to her jamboree, where she would discover her narcotic appetite for the penguin. At this juncture, Twiba was now observed as an unstoppable force worshipped by all adherents to the Dig-It doctrine, a set of beliefs concerning vermicular superiority which gained nationwide prosperity through the countless speeches Twiba would deliver to her public, from whence many adages such as "can you dig it, sucka?" à la Cyrus to the Gramercy Riffs, "worms are the best at giving surprises", "worms rule, ah-ah", among a plethora of other axioms present in modern civilisation, such as within ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics or artworks of prestige and eminence. Of course, much of the above is merely speculation, given the lack of outsider presence to verify these claims from the Dig-It propaganda machine.
Twiba ascertained that she had the ability to spread the Dig-It credo beyond the boundaries of her domestic planet and fled to the middle of the countryside of then-unclaimed territory under the guise of an apple from within a tree, under which sat a pair of unperturbed glorms by the names of Big and Small, who were indulging in a picnic by the time they befriended her as she called for their attention. Prior to this incident, Twiba went under the sobriquet of "Dig-It #1" because of her position of dominance within the Dig-It hierarchy. Out of perceived disrespect towards the invertebrate ruler, Big and Small thought this name cumbersome to enunciate, and thereby negotiated the need to settle upon a moniker with, in their words, "more of a ring to it". Small initially suggested the name "Cheese" - owing to his unhealthy addiction to the recreational drug. Big proposed that Twiba's name ought to honour the beginning of their relationship somehow and thus suggested the name "Twnkwt", which stood for "the worm no-one knew was there". Twiba took substantial offence to this, as she, alongside a multitude of apostles of the Dig-It faith were aware of her existence at that point. Small, being the incompetent beta male he is, suggested "Twrbtbs", meaning "the worm rescued by the Brave Small". Ultimately, the three decided upon the name "Twiba", which stood for "the worm in Big's apple", a name which the Dig-It public would become accustomed to following the victorious outcome Twiba achieved via converting Big and Small to her teachings, although the most conservative traditionalists of the Dig-It dogma still proceeded to refer to her as "Dig-It #1" notwithstanding - and the rest is history.
Musical career[]
Starting in 2012 with the international release of the hit song "Do They Dig It" which topped the Groundbreakers Top 20 for 928 consecutive years in its domestic country of origin, Dig-It Land, of which the single was the national anthem, Twiba made plans to cultivate her musical talent, forming a band known as - you guessed it - The Dig-Its, comprised of her, and the most loyal slaves of hers, Twimba and Twomba. Over the years, the musical ensemble released many songs - predominantly those from within the Do They Dig It album - which mainly indoctrinate the viewer into believing the cruel beliefs of Twiba and her minions and that worms are supreme, such as "Worm Surprises" and "Got New Friends To Meet", just to name a handful. These attempts at cosmopolitan brainwashing tend to achieve the utmost success, with celebrity names such as Katy Perry having collaborated with Twiba's band for the hit singles such as 2013's "I Dug Up a Corpse and I Liked It", which gained the most monthly listeners in August, September and October of that year.
On occasion, the Ground Monsters, some of Twiba's less servile lackeys, produce a number of... well, numbers, the majority of which end up unreleased to the public due to how little they endeavour to spice their compositions with enough delectably devilish subliminal messages, an example of which is "Worms Rule", a look-at-me, albeit admittedly gimcrack musical venture only recently leaked by Big to the public. If one could consider a singular verse iterated nine-hundred-and-twenty-eight times a "song", that is.
Universal recognition and international colonisation[]
The success of Twiba's musical career skyrocketed her to stardom in Big and Small's uncolonised domicile - then known as South Sudan, soon to be colonised by her in due course under the permission of Big and Small, both of whom became avid supporters of Twiba's principles as demonstrated subtly through her talented composing capabilities' hidden subliminal messages. Ultimately, the invertebrate government insisted upon overinflating the population of colonised international territory and several other areas within the UnUniverse with Dig-Its until all other species native to their respective domiciles are outnumbered.
Convoluted, controversial dating history[]
As far as most historians are concerned, Twiba's holy matrimony with 7-foot-tall delinquent, disciple of the Dig-It doctrine and occasional Hitler impersonator Josephine Ann - better known under the criminal nickname "Peppa Pig" has withstood all flesh to have been generated into Chuck Norris' grand green terra firma within the past countless years. The foundation for how the two initially got engaged has been kept a mystery by the most aristocratic oligarchs of the Dig-It society, much like the exact origins of that one music video where a green-screen stock skeleton comedically scurries past some rapper in the middle of a car park or something - I don't know, perhaps a wizard did it; in spite of this, the couple's amorous entanglement has been presented as everlasting, healthy and flourishing.
Or so the propaganda machine of the Dig-It government claims. On November 14th, 2024, Twtian, still nursing such a prehistoric grudge over having his position as Dig-It Leader unceremoniously overthrown by Twiba, hacked into Twiba's marriage certificates which told a vastly contrasting story to that told by the Dig-It government, that Twiba and Peppa Pig had in fact filed a divorce back in 2020, owing to increasing accusations of Peppa having committed adultery against her supposed "diggity delight" through dates arranged with Billy Mays. Since then, rumours have sparked that Peppa had received capital punishment as a result of such treachery against the Dig-It Leader, hence why no sightings of the porker have ever been reported to authorities since July of that year, what official Dig-It Empire statements attribute to her having embarked on a decade-long "spiritual excavation sabbatical".
In addition to this, Twtian discovered that the invertebrate dictator and American rapper and internet personality Dave Blunts had been engaged for three months prior to the leakage, because according to the grapevine, their musical talents "blended together like lean 'n' green (in Blunts' words)", leading to the production of preliminary tracks with names such as Got New Chains to Eat. This could potentially explain why Blunts' hit June 2024 release "The Cup" saw itself a particular sensation in the Dig-It Empire, topping the Groundbreakers Top 20 throughout the remainder of the aforementioned year. Scuttlebutt also has it that Twiba recently marginally, just barely noticeably adapted her legal given name from Twiba to Twiba, as a consequence of the manner by which she slumbered within the confinements of Blunts' arse, which she has avowed to "dig" before Twimba and Twomba.
Cosmetic range[]
On January 2nd, 2025, Twiba informed the UnWorld that a brand arse-spankin' new cosmetic brand under the name "Garden Glamour" was in the manufacturing process, and hypothesised that it would prove itself a tour de force amongst the planet's citizens once the trademark hit the shelves of every pharmaceutical establishment to ever be established for the purpose of retailing pharmaceuticals. International product evaluators have theorised that this hypothesis was justified owing to evidently carcinogenic chemicals present within these cosmetics that radicalise the wearer into the Dig-It doctrine upon applying the material directly to the forehead. Despite their endeavours to spread awareness to the UnWorld public regarding this grave discovery, the firsthand accounts of these evaluators all unanimously concurred the succeeding nychthemeron that Twiba threatened to "bury their rotting cadavers deeper than a Twiba denier at a Dig-Itist monastery for aspiring to libel the Invincible Invertebrate with nary any likelihood of compromise, via her metagnostic, psychic potentialities", all of that verbatim.
Rap battle against Boyfriend[]
Once, Twiba was having an ordinary day in Dig-It Land, enjoying the company of Twimba and Twomba as they ate some of the recently imported, exquisite Tubby Toast. However, unknown to them, Boyfriend from Friday Night Fuckin' was visiting the planet of Dig-It Land after being informed of Twiba's musical expertise, and wanted to have a rap battle. Boyfriend approached the three worms, and Twiba decided to take him on alone. Against the blue-haired boy, Twiba preformed 3 of her songs. These were Do They Dig It, Got New Friends To Meet and Worm Surprises, in that order. However, Twiba said she had one last "surprise" for Boyfriend. That was her trying to strangle Boyfriend to death by trying to coil her neck around his entire body, with Twimba and Twomba restraining his limbs. However, they were too slow and Boyfriend got away.
Criminal History[]
Much of Twiba's life has consisted of criminal activity many a judge in the UnUniverse would declare worthy of either life imprisonment or the death penalty depending on the severity of her delinquencies; however, given her status as a planetary sovereign, she has gotten away with each and every one of her malefactions scot-free. Below is a comprehensive list of all of her wrongdoings:
- Enslavement
- Attempted world domination
- Usurpation
- Propaganda
- Manslaughter
- Assault and battery
- Mass brainwashing
- Mass murder
- Mass theft
- Mass torture
- Fraud
- Blackmail
- Numerous health violations
- Twiba is the founder and director of the cooking show Twiba's Cooing Sgow, and has perpetrated many examples of this on air. These include:
- Animal cruelty about a dozen times, involving including live chickens as part of a meal if the recipe requests the use of chicken food
- Force-feeding the disgusting, sloppy food to random people on the show, even if they are heavily resisting
- Producing a warcrime in the form of a meal, somehow
- Twiba is the founder and director of the cooking show Twiba's Cooing Sgow, and has perpetrated many examples of this on air. These include:
- Money laundering
- Genocide
- Piracy
- Grand theft auto
- Property damage
- Libel
- Stalking
- Impersonation
- Vandalism
- Obstruction of justice
- Unlawful imprisonment
- Conspiracy
- Smuggling
- Cannibalism
- Domestic abuse
Quotes[]
Below are a series of especially conspicuous excerpts from the most highly respected and revered speeches of Twiba's, held in high regard by her most zealous of missionaries.
- "Can you dig it?" / "Do they dig it?"
- "Oh-ho-ho!"
- "Go Twiba, Go Twiba!"
- "No diggin' means no livin'! Grab a shovel, ye filthy peasant scum - fate don't excavate itself!"
- "The only escape from my rule is underground. And guess what? The underground is under my rule too!"
- "Worms are the best at giving surprises! Underestimate us and capital punishment shall be your depressing little fate."
- "Dirt is the new gold!"
- "He who wins the war writes history - only for the Dig-Its to bury it, and which one lasts longer?"
- "Democracy ain't got one Tig-It on dig-tatorship!"
- "Got places to go, got new friends to meet! Got a lot of juicy things that I want to eat... like the dross that denies my diggity dominance!"
- "You can't spell wormhole without worm, and you can't spell greatness without Twiba!"
- "Either dig deep or dig your grave."
- "We'll be squirming about in the dirt beneath your grave when we're done with you."
Trivia[]
- Twiba has taught in several colleges on the subject of Dig-It Anatomy, in which they explain the logic behind the species of the Dig-Its through song.
- While one may assume that Twiba is Bisexual due to her dating history of both a male (Dave Blunts) and a female (Peppa Pig), the likelihood is that Twiba refuses to comprehend gender in relation to her dating habits, meaning she wouldn't understand labels either and likely not label herself as a Bisexual. However, under that logic if she were to label herself, she would be a Pansexual.