- Not to be confused with Pink Sauce.
- Were you looking for the safer version?
Tubby Custard, otherwise known as Tubby Tustard is an evil food eaten and drank by the Teletubbies. It is also loved by Tom Nuke and every overpowered Gary Stu character ever.
Tutorial[]
So, you want to make some Tubby Custard, eh? No problem! No problem at all! Tubby Custard is a magical stuffs! You see, it's sort of like custard, except it's... wait for it... pink! It's pink custard! And that's only the beginning. Just stick around, because it gets so much better.
Construction[]
The first ingredient in Tubby Custard is formed deep in the pits of the Teletubby Land Acid Lake (aka hell). Someone has to dive down into the lake to collect the moss and other gunk that gathers on the floor of the lake. Now, only someone evil can do this, so you'd better pay Po some good money if you want to make Tubby Custard (unless you can find Ronald McDonald, but he usually doesn't go into Teletubby Land, and nobody else really does either, so Po or another Teletubby is probably your best bet.)
After that, you have to mix it with pickle juice. In order to do this, you must slaughter innocent pickles, preferably with Noo-Noo or the King K. Rool Cannon. Killing these is the only truly evil eat Tubby Custard. Then you must find a creature of Hell or similar demonicness (Teletubbies, Dora the Explorer, or Bob Saget would all work well here. Typhoon Katrina wouldn't, since she's too good, and would only create a hurricane.), and have your demon curse the custard. At this point it should be ready to go. Whatever you do, don't burn it, because it smells obnoxious when you do, because it is toxxxic.
Applications[]
Tubby Custard has a variety of uses. First and foremost, it is a type of food that the Teletubbies eat. Nobody else can eat it because it is highly toxic to non-Teletubbies. If you're not into the whole asploding thing, you can also use it to power machines, as it can be used as a fuel source without running out. It can also be used as a weapon, as it is sticky, toxic, and it smells like dead fish, so it's been used in bombs and torpedos, which spread so much of this stuff it can cover a huge part of Europe. There are even people who use it as a drug, probably as a harder alternative to Heroin and Cocaine.
A certain bag-hatted cowboy wizard does not like to drink this stuff, however he serves it to his children when punishing them.
Pocoyo uses it to punish Pato, Elly, Loula, Octopus, and even his own Vamoosh. Oh and also Sleepy Bird.
It is not recommended to throw Tubby Custard in your toilet because it has a 75% chance of making it explode.
When it is compressed into Tubby Bombs, it makes quite a weird sound.
Composition[]
Tubby Custard is composed of ammonia, dimethyl cadmium, pureed armpit hair (often preserved) and used bandages, stabilized in egg protein with vanilla extract for flavoring. As such, the FDA gives it a rating of E for everyone, although some health concerns have been raised about the preservatives in pureed armpit hair.