Content Warning
This article contains: Large amounts of cussing; potentially offensive slang; body horror (throat).
If you're uncomfortable with this, leave this page.
Content Warning
This article contains: Large amounts of cussing; potentially offensive slang; body horror (throat).
If you're uncomfortable with this, leave this page.
Tonight on Unsolved Mysteries: Find out who gives a shit about Bigfoot!! Update: Apparently nobody gives a shit so, fuck him!!! Update: Last night somebody broke in and stole $500 worth of shit from my place! That’s right, $500 worth of bullshit!!!!
—Tourettes Guy
Pissing out the window and shitting out the window ARE 2 DIFFERENT THINGS!!!!
—Tourettes Guy
YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!! PIIIISSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
—Tourettes Guy
I don’t wanna switch phone companies. YOU CAN STICK THOSE 5-CENT SUNDAYS UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!!!!
—Tourettes Guy
That's because I had that guy from the electric company up my ass all afternoon!!! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!
—Tourettes Guy, after being charged a Un$50 rescheduling fee and the saying being taken literally.
DAMN IT, THESE FISHSTICKS ARE HARD AS TITS!!!!!!
—Danny the Tourettes Guy
Put these bitches in the bathroom!
—Tourettes Guy
OH BOB SAGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
—Tourrettes Guy
The Tourettes Guy is an idiot who as the name says, has the Tourettes Syndrome. He got popular on the internet around 2004-2005 because he uses Bob Saget as a swear word, if you grew up in the 1990s and were in high school in the 2000s you probably remember seeing a Tourettes Guy clip. It would involve a fat alcoholic fuck whose real name is Danny, he wears a Tony the Tiger shirt and for some reason a neckbrace, does he itch his neck or was it slapped by his ex-wife Shirlena? He would also yell and swear a LOT in the videos he's in. In one of his videos, it is confirmed that he owns a Randy Travis poster as his son wrinkled it, pissed the seat and hid his keys!
History[]
24 December, 2000.
The first clip of the Tourette's guy was made, people thought it was the funniest thing ever made because it WAS! Lots of more clips of Danny spread around in the 2000s but after 2018 there was nothing until the 20th anniversary with Tourettes Guy buried alive. The video down there is age restricted though. He then got so drunk he put on a lab coat and imitated the host of the show Unsolved Mysteries and as discussing the mystery of who gives a SHIT about bigfoot, where it turns out that nobody gives a shit so FUCK BIGFOOT!
Later down the line he became a meme with the phrase “OH BOB SAGET” becoming legendary and helped boost Bob’s net worth by millions. Absolute tragedy the day he died in the Real World.
The return of the Tourettes Guy[]
Danny is seen to be getting OLD AS FUCK as he has grey hair and is losing it. He’s still as crazy and as alcoholic as he used to be. Still single after his divorce with Shirlena. He doesn’t say OH BOB SAGET anymore :(
Buried Alive[]
Ever wondered what would happen if a fat alcoholic fuck won the lottery??? He spent a quarter of a MILLION on ALCOHOL and PIZZA and the cans were up to the fuckin’ ceiling according to his son Tony. And he did not clean up, and the cockroaches got into the cereal, ants took over the sink, moths ate his son’s work shirt, something was alive in the pool room (underneath the mountain of beer cans) and in the Tourettes Guy’s room you had to walk on pizza boxes because of BROKEN GLASS. Before all this, he had to call his son’s phone because he couldn’t find it anywhere and he fucked his foot, trying to call off work. His coworker said he needs a doctor’s excuse but Danny insists that he FUCKED HIS FOOT!!! It all ended when he called his son a terrible word and threw an AC unit at his HEAD! We never knew what happened next, and probably never will.
Where is he now? (2021-until he returns)[]
I dunno! He could be DEAD, he could be alive. But he’s probably still in his beercan infested home.
However, in Buried Alive, it was confirmed that he had to be in court in 2 hours. There is a chance he’s in jail which regardless of what he did sucks because NO MORE TOURETTES GUY! And if he IS in prison, he had a good run. 20 years is a LONG time, may he rest in peace no matter what he did. You will not ever be forgotten.
Oh wait, he actually uploaded again in June. The funny man came back from his can filled house to entertain us all! And again this year! This was NOT on the authors 2024 bingo card!
Trivia[]
- Bob Saget actually talked about him live about him using his name as a swear. You can watch it here.
- He hates Sting from The Police. This is proven in one of the clips where Danny hoped that it was the Puff Daddy version of the song Every Breath You Take and not that Sting piece of shit!!!
- He hates squirrels because one fucked his tomato. The logical thing to do after someone fucks your tomato is to hate the entire race, eh?
- He hates 5 cent Sundays that some phone company offers as they can stick that up their fucking ass!
- It is unknown if he worships Bob Saget or Chuck Norris.
- He is back for the 2nd time this decade. It won't be linked here it due to the very mature nature of it.
TONIGHT, ON UNSOLVED MYSTERIES!!!!
You get to find out who gives a shit about you! No but what actually happens is the Tourettes Guy’s clothing turns into extremely hard armour and pull out a beer bottle that’s actually a Glock 18 in disguise and he pummels you dead in a hail of 9mm bullets.
TONIGHT, ON UNSOLVED MYSTERIES!!!!
You get to find out who gives a shit about you! No but what actually happens is the Tourettes Guy’s clothing turns into extremely hard armour and pull out a beer bottle that’s actually a Glock 18 in disguise and he pummels you dead in a hail of 9mm bullets.