UnAnything Wiki

What is UnAnything? UnAnything is a humor wiki that's been running for over a decade. Want to edit? Read the rules, because your edits won't be saved unless you follow the instructions within. But if you're just curious about us, you can read the guide. Be sure to also check out our Discord! Have fun!

READ MORE

UnAnything Wiki
Advertisement

She's got these giant blobs of fat on her chest where her breasts should be.

Touka talking about Justin Bieber

ARGH MY EARS!

Everyone after hearing Touka's loud laugh.

EVIL

Touka glares at a minion for disliking cheese.

Touka Ryuumonbuchi also known as Toxic Rum B*tch was the 12th Fuhrer of Germany. A righteous leader, she was elected as Fuhrer in 1551, only 13 years old, making her the youngest Fuhrer to date. She was commonly believed to be the Antichrist, though this has not been fully proven. 

Appearance[]

Touka had long blonde hair, and sometimes wears glasses. She wore a loose straight jacket and glass slippers, commonly used to cut the throats of people who displeased her. She also has red markings on her face because in 2073, she got the Snail Flamingo Radish initiation. She likes bacon.

Personality[]

Typical Day in the Office

Touka's reaction to ANYTHING these days.

Touka was the most feared out of all the Fuhrers in German history, even more so than Vendetta Williams and even Satan himself! She was extremely tyrannical and sadistic, making war with the Spaghettians and Vikings just for fun, as well as burning people for her enjoyment. She also only cared about herself and vice-Fuhrer, Rip Torn's, well being.

Touka often slaughtered or had people executed simply for looking or thinking about her. Also, she was responsible for the Aztec Massacre of 1542. She also had entire households burned down simply for thinking they "looked ugly".

She was also responsible for the Spaghetti Calzone War of 1552 when her 8th cousin, Corey, ate all of the Peppermint Ostrich Kazoos and he blamed it on Canada.

The reason why she is tyrannical and sadistic is because of her 3rd Birthday Party in 1541 when some guy in a Justin Bieber Costume accidentally scared her. From that day on, she always remembers that vision. Oooooooooooooooooooooooh, scary! {insert X-Files music here}

Here's the lost footage after the incident: Woopsies, we don't have it. DEAL WITH IT.

Things She Hates[]

Ryuumonbuchi touka

Her face when she sees the things she hates.

History[]

Touka was born into a rich family. They were one of the greatest families in all of Germany. This is what ultimately led to her promotion to vice-fuhrer of Germany. Gumball Watterson had chosen her to confirm that he wouldn't be overthrown. She overthrew him.

Her tyrannical rule only lasted two years, but still, she had caused major chaos and corruption across the land. People didn't dare to try and assassinate her, as her security force was too powerful for even the best of warriors to handle.

She started the Spaghettian and Viking war, but her military forces defeated them easily. Corey and his Klan of Super Guys gave her a rare and deadly species of spaghetti,  Bosyyintryasiufuckomgroflantidisestablishmentariumnism Potato Type B Negative.

In 1553, she died of food poisoning in her bed. She was only 15 when she died. Her last words before passing away were, "Spaghetti can go die in a hole..." which indicates Spaghetti food poisoned her.

Life as Undead[]

Tokaisevil

Touka torturing the citizens of Germany by playing ping pong.

Satan took mercy on her when she came to Hell. This is why she was allowed to wander the UnWorld as a ghost. However, in 2985, she pissed off Satan when she screamed at Dora the Explorer for not liking cheese, so she was brought back to Hell until her revival. 

Revival[]

In World War III, Marguerite Williams decided she needed some help to win the war. She revived Touka along with Vendetta Williams and Adolf Hitler by using magic from the Mountain of Despair. Though Marguerite was the official Fuhrer, Touka was pretty much in charge until her death during the bombing of Pac-Land. She was revived after the bombing by Dr T. when he put her brain inside a robotic body. They are now working on the Nazi Cocomelon robot army

Antichrist Conspiracy[]

The elite Crime Solving Investigators, the Martians, investigated her death, and discovered she was food poisoned by a plate of Spaghetti made by Bruce Willis. However, they also made a shocking discovery - her birth number matched up 3 sixes, which is the sign of The Devil. At first the Martians didn't understand, but then the facts came together - her sadism, war obsession, and often reported Satanic hymns were all signs of unholy evil. It has has not been proven if she actually was the antichrist, and remains an unsolved rumor.

Trivia[]

  • She was ranked 3rd in a 2010 list written by Tyler Perry, entitled "Top 50 Worst Rulers of All Time".
  • Her favorite food was cheese, and she often killed people if they did not like it.
  • She was only 15 when she died, and 13 when she became Fuhrer, making her the youngest Fuhrer to become one and youngest to die as one.
  • She was a master at ping pong, which she often used to menacingly torture the people of Germany.

Fuhrer of Germany

(1351-1551)

:3

1551-1553

Tom

(1553-1554)

HaloBob GunPants[ / ]
Saki[ / ]
Advertisement