wow, it's a gang! cool! (sips tea)
—juno
This is the insignia
The Top Hat Mafia is an organization run by a group of dashing fellows from all over the UnWorld. They commit crimes, they get into gang wars, and they enjoy stealing potentially cursed artifacts from their native areas. They are not really a mafia, either, they're more of a group of cohorts that just want to be menaces to society. They're able to easily rizz anyone who's wearing a hat. That isn't a special ability or anything weird; it's just something that they can do.
Clash with the Wafia[]
One time, they were trying to do homework for Juno, but then the Wafia took over the company who made the homework and made all the answers weird and messed up. So they complained to The Vigilante who made things just by shooting their heads off. He also made the homework beatable again, much to the dismay of the Unbeatables. Wario was so mad at them that he made a hate-microshame based off the Top Hat Mafia where they all went bankrupt and were so poor they could only afford togas. It became a WarioWare, Inc. best-seller.
Clash with the Snowman Mafia[]
Another time, they were eating snow due to them all catching Cushing's disease. The snow pulled out various guns against them, and Foodini was forced to use the Horror Show spell against them (which may have been a hybrid of the standard Horror Show and a Thousand-Yard Stare). He traumatized them all so badly that they immediately took their guns and sold them to minors at gun shows, and waited until summer so that they could become happy snowmen. The Elusive Dynamite Snowman who was there immediately self destructed too. Balan and Topham also helped, but not by much (what a shocker...). The Snowman Mafia was left in shambles after this, and were forced to retreat into Terraria after there was only 3 left out of the 129.
Some fine art made by juno about the THM's frequent spars with other gangs
The ongoing clash with Krizalid and his family[]
After DJ Hallyboo joined the Top Hat Mafia, he brought new adversaries with him, frequent offenders of piracy (among other things). They are both currently in a feud over this new addition. This clash would soon lead to Hei Meiling breaking into their base to find out who hurt her Great Great Granddaughter and as such most of the Meiling family are enemies of the top hat mafia
The First King of Fighters Tournament[]
One day Balan gathered everyone to come up with something good he suggested to release 500 Horror Shows but Topham told him to and as i quote"Shut yo bitchass up Balan" Because he came up with a better idea he suggests that they create a martial arts tournament That wasn't limited to any specific martial art. no limits on bringing weapons. And his famous idea he came up with a 3-on-3 rule. Teams of three fighters would compete against each other, with one fighter from each team fighting at a time. They decide to hold the tournament in Cool City and decided to not limit the invites on only people in cool city they decided to instead allow anyone in the UnWorld to join as long as they have 2 other team members with them they also decided that anyone that makes it to the finals will have to face off against Balan or Iwasaki in order to get the title that Topham came up with on his own he called it.... The King Of Fighters.
After the first tourney it became a huge success and as such Topham ran the tournament every year and a shame series was made about it.
Ongoing clash with the Motor Delinquents[]
The THM is at war with a gang which comprises of a bunch of punk high schooler's known as the Motor delinquents their leader Akira Declared war on them after finding out that Iwasaki was jumping their members this clash is still ongoing because of Akira's right hand man Edge. Later on Iwasaki was attacked by Edge and was nearly killed by him she is now recovering from her multiple lacerations and stab wounds. We've got word that the mafia has been in multiple deals with the Ptolemaic Army.
The plan to regain control of the mafia[]
After the 700 constant wars and so many L's along with the absence of Balan and the Looming threat of Bezel Topham decides that they will need outside help in order to revive the mafia however they will need to make a big deal with the boss of The Thai branch of Hotel moscow and one of Tophams old friends a girl that Topham likes to call Fry Face but Iwasaki knows her as Sofia Pavlovna Irinovskaya but decides to instead refers to her by her nickname Balalaika. after she took over the mafia she decided that it would be a good idea to make a fucking tophat mafia tv show. Spoilers, it wasn't.
Waiting For The Worms (W.I.P.)[]
This hasn't happened yet, but something's brewing on a planet far from here. Ally Kabam has been having visions as of late about an uprising on a place called "Round Star".
Members[]
- Balan - The (jerk) leader of the gang, who regularly evades taxes and
pirates shames(SHHH!!! don't tell anyone.) (Deceased) - Topham - The brawler, he has knocked a few teeth out of both himself and numerous criminals.
- Foodini - The designated driver and a skilled magician.
- Iwasaki - Topham's wife, and a fighter. (Currently recovering from multiple fatal injuries because of Edge)
- Ally Kabam - The smart one, was adopted by Foodini at a young age.
- DJ Hallyboo (Deceased) - An honorary member, he was slightly less of a jerk that Balan. He used to beat the daylights out of people who pirate shames. The Goths do not associate with him OR his death.
- Dr. Baldhead - The doctor of the group because the topphat mafia needed health insurance however none of the members have never seen his face.
- Axl Low - He's British.
- Testament - Everyone's favorite non-binary Gear!
- Balalaika - A friend of Topham and the current replacement as the leader, until Balan returns, but he's dead so she's the new leader.
- The Lagoon Company - A group of pirate smugglers that Balalaika usually hires to do small jobs for her.
- Dutch
- Revy
- Rokuro "Rock" Okajima
- Benny
- Le Majeur
- Freelancer trio- Shenhuas little friend group that insist of
ENEMIES[]
- Cool Guy
- Krizalid: Hallyboo nearly killed his wife and attacked his child
- Hong Krizalid: Hallyboo Nearly killed her mom over a fucking pirated shame
- Eiji Kisaragi: looking for revenge after they attacked his temple because he failed to kill 3 people from Gensokyo
- Sendai Hakurei and Reimu Hakurei: the mafia talked shit about their shrine
- Tobirama: Told him that Uchihas deserve human rights
- The Hong Kong Triad - Despite the fact that Shenhua is working for them as a freelancer, Topham just hates their leader Mister Chang and how he's trying to copy his mafia by making his own version of That's Discussing!