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Revision as of 19:43, 9 December 2013
She's got these giant blobs of fat on her chest where her breasts should be. Toka talking about Justin Bieber
ARGH MY EARS! Everyone after hearing Toka's laugh.
Hail Satan! The ruler of mutated souls. In these sewers of sulfur we, your unholy parish, of utter and extreme blasphemy, to gather to feast with disgust and deranged joy! Overwhelming hate, and the sleaziest carnal fullfiment, upon the decomposing, and unblessed fruit, Your hideos uncreation, Hail Satan! ruler of Hell. Here upon this malicious sovereignty for you to step into this world of trash, created by an unabled God of sickness and self-disgust, known also as the God of the fallen city of Jerusalem. Come to us, so together we can bring destruction and filth onto this weaklings. We can operate as a tool in the final plan! We were bound by the ones who hide behind the masks of righteousness, we shall show these hypocrits our mightiest rights! Three times, we curse the name undesirable to our ears. That of the impotent, and mad with power from America. Three times we spit upon the existence of his virgin mother, who would not let her man touch her, but instead gave herself to someone who's highest work, was the rape of man's freewill. Three deadly spells we shall cast, upon the blindfolded slaves, who spread the obnoxious stench, of their unnatural, immoral hygene, wherever they crawl, preaching their doctors of self denial. We hail your lord of plague, and of lust and filth! We hail the work of your invincible hand, over all the world! Your work is done! This is the dawn of Satan's new millenium, an era of greed and lust, power and will! The year is won...Norris is DONE! Toka's rant against the Chuck Norris religion.
Toka Ryuumonbuchi (real name-Tocah Rioumohnbucci) was the 12th Fuhrer of Germany. A righteous leader, she was elected as Fuhrer in 1551, at the age of 13, making her the youngest Fuhrer to date. She was commonly believed to be the Antichrist, though this has not been fully proven.
Appearance
Toka had long blonde hair, and sometimes wore glasses. She wore a loose straight jacket and glass slippers, commonly used to cut the throats of people who displeased her. She also has red markings on her face because in 2073, she got the Snail Flamingo Radish initiation. She likes bacon.
Personality
Toka was the most feared out of all the Fuhrers in German history, even more so than Edd Marian Double D and Vendetta Williams. She was extremely tyrannical and sadistic, making war with the Spaghettians and Vikings just for fun, as well as burning people for her enjoyment. She also only cared about herself and vice-Fuhrer, Rip Torn's, well being.
Toka often slaughtered or had people executed simply for looking or thinking about her. Also, she was responsible for the Aztec Massacre of 1542. She also had entire households burned down simply for thinking they "looked ugly".
She was also responsible for the Spaghetti Calzone War of 1552 when her 8th cousin, Corey, ate all of the Peppermint Ostrich Kazoos and he blamed it on Canada.
The reason why she is tyrannical and sadistic is because of her 3rd Birthday Party in 1541 when some guy in a Justin Bieber Costume accidentally scared her. From that day on, she always remembers that vision. Oooooooooooooooooooooooh, scary! {insert X-Files music here}
Here's the lost footage after the incident: Woopsies, we don't have it. DEAL WITH IT.
Things She Hates
- Herbert the Pervert
- Mario
- Luigi
- Weegee
- Meegee
- Squeegee
- Wii U
- "Call of Doody"
- Salad
- Bagels
- Corey
- You
- Me
- Mew
- Pocket Munsters
- Other Shit
- Anime
- Non-Germans
History
Toka was born into a rich family. She was the 11th Fuhrer, That Spider in the Shower's, vice-Fuhrer, and was also related to him, which made her the automatic vice-Fuhrer.
Her tryannical rule only lasted two years, but still, she had caused major chaos and corruption across the land. People didn't dare to try and assassinate her, as her security force was too powerful for even the best of warriors to handle.
She started the Spaghettian and Viking war, but her military forces defeated them easily. Corey and his Klan of Super Guys gave her a rare and deadly species of spaghetti, Bosyyintryasiufuckomgroflantidisestablishmentariumnism Potato Type B Negative.
In 1553, she died of food poisoning in her bed. She was only 15 when she died. Her last words before passing away were, "Spaghetti can go die in a hole..." which indicates Spaghetti food poisoned her.
Life as Undead
Satan took mercy on her when she came to Hell, and he allowed her to walk the Earth once again. This is how she continued to rule Germany after she died. However, in 2985, she pissed off Satan when she screamed at Dora the Explorer for not liking cheese, so she was brought back to Hell until her revival.
List of People in Her "Armed Forces"
Lead General
Oswald the Yellow Squid Canadian Polygon
5 Star Lieutenant
Anemone
4 Star Lieutenant
Tinky Winky
3 Star Lieutenant
Corey, Eater Of Bagels
2 Star Lieutenant
1 Star Lieutenant
Tsubaki Yayoi (previously: Gingka Hagane!!! and Kevin Eleven)
Anemone's Division
Field Officer: Teh Bad Guy From The Star Wars!
Private 1: Ronald Mc. Donald
Private 2: Kung Fu Pot Roast
Private 3: Rigby "Rigboner"
Private 4: Lucy from Charlie Brown
Private 5: Frosty the Poo Man
Private 6: Cartman
Private 7: Mordifry
Private 8: Arnold Schwartzenegger
Private 9: Buzz Lightyear
Private 10: A Piece of Garlic Bread (Soldiers strive for this military rank.)
Bubble Bass' Division
Field Officer: Weegee
Private 1: Hobo Joe
Private 2: R2D2
Private 3: Pokey Minch
Private 4: Paper Pete
Private 5: Taokaka "Taococka"
Private 6: Batman
Private 7: A Snake "Teh Snekky Snekk"
Private 8: Poopachu
Private 9: Fatman
Private 10: Eh-Oh Seagull Joe (Ehhoh Sehgell Joeue III)
Corey's Division
Field Officer: Elmo
Private 1: Jeff the Killer (Jeffrey O' Wiggamson)
Private 2: Smitty Werben Jigger Man Jensen
Private 3: Spongebob
Private 4: Simon Petrikov
Private 5: CODE RED- {VIEWING OF AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL NOT SENSED- This FILE iS NOW cOrrUPTedirgu54g5ftyu9nouw4crum4398u4foi3wm4oifu4fo8euoimefuio3muw3iuwie4foyrgwy4g87owcifnu4iw4ufmw4fuiw4fuwo4fiu4oifuwx34fw7y50wc587t8945urjd94uo9illdiboiyiupomi95r5ug9mp4muio89584iop94ioi4oTROLOlolOLOLolololOlolOLoloOLOLolOlOLOllolololoLooloLoooLoLoLolorekfoofldp________________________________00000.109891___________________________________0AALGCAaa___________0
Revival
In 3179, Toka was revived alongside Walt Disney below Wizzlyworld, due to a mistake in a revival process by workers at the park. Toka escaped from the guards, and is now currently working as the CEO in an oil factory. She hasn't done anything evil yet...
Recently, Toka was captured by Johnny C. and placed in his torture cellar, and hasn't been seen since. It is unknown if she is alive or dead. But they did find remains of dead dog elephant mushrooms.
Antichrist Conspiracy
The elite Crime Solving Investigators, the Martians, investigated her death, and discovered she was food poisoned by a plate of Spaghetti made by Bruce Willis. However, they also made a shocking discovery - her birth number matched up 3 sixes, which is the sign of The Devil. At first the Martians didn't understand, but then the facts came together - her sadism, war obsession, and often reported Satanic hymns were all signs of unholy evil. It has has not been proven if she actually was the antichrist, and remains an unsolved rumor.
Trivia
- She was ranked 3rd in a 2010 list written by Tyler Perry, entitled "Top 50 Worst Rulers of All Time".
- Her favorite food was cheese, and she often killed people if they did not like it.
- She was only 15 when she died, and 13 when she became Fuhrer, making her the youngest Fuhrer to become one and youngest to die as one.
- She was a master at ping pong, which she often used to menacingly torture the people of Germany.
Fuhrer of Germany | ||
That Spider in the Shower (1378-1550) ← |
1551-1553 | Rip Torn (1554-1572) → |