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UnAnything Wiki
UnAnything Wiki

This Toad said the words "I'm not stupid!"

Toad is some random guy who lives in Mushroom Kingdom. The dude's a freaking walking talking frollicing mushroom! Many say "Toad" is a species of mushroom people, but haters say they are actually clones of the original Toad. The Toads are the main creatures that roam inside the Mushroom Kingdom. They are also a delicacy to non-Toads. He is considered fat by the BMI standard, but this is because of his big fat mushroom head.


According to the Chuck Norris bible, Toad was actually created when Chuck Norris spit on a mushroom in the year 0. This created one of the most epic beings that has ever existed. Chuck Norris decided the mushroom was not worthy of this, so he made it a pathetic mushroom. This mushroom was named Toad because it smelled like a dead Toad.

Toad went to Europe (back then it was called Europe), but the only civilizations there were run by Ancient Geeks. But then, King Fruit came along and made the land his. But he didn't know what to call it. Toad came up, and he named it Mushroom Kingdom. He then cloned this Toad so many times, the original became stupider! They somehow even made girl clones, even though the original Toad was a boy.

Toadsworth, the oldest toad there is (besides original Toad). (OR MAYBE HE IS THE ORIGINAL!)

Today, the toads are led under the kind rule of Princess Peach, and the Toads are only ever eaten when Mario REALLY wants to eat them. We believe he makes them into some kind of butter or something. Mario secretly eats Toads, however, so more clones constantly have to be made.

Original Toad

The original Toad if he exists, is currently locked up in a cryo-tube, waiting to be released when it's the future. However, Nobody intends on letting him out, so he is going to be trapped in the tube until the world ends. He can be seen in Antarctica, the only place where it doesn't cost money to keep things cold. For all we know he might actually just be dead.

This report comes from the Mushroom Authority's Royal Information Organization (MARIO), so it may all just be a hoax lolololol

Bad Luck

Everyone seems to hate them, for they are completely annoying. They always seem to wind up in some kind of bad luck. For example, when a Toad survives a bomb attack, a piano falls on them, and when a Toad thinks he's cool, a gang comes out of nowhere and beats him up. If you feel a sudden urge to beat a Toad up, go ahead and do it, because he probably had it coming.

Toad flesh tastes like delicious mushrooms, and Toad soul tastes like taffy (strechable too). Because of this everyone loves to devour them, especially Giygas, who loves to eat Toad souls.

Peach makes them do all her dirty work, and likes to cool down by throwing them across the castle grounds. also, when her dead mama comes back to make her tidy her room, she uses a Toad as a vacuum, who she makes eat all the garbage.