Early times
- 4,500,000,000 BC- Unworld created by Gods. T-5001 sacrifices its life to this cause. However, it stays alive in the future, as it only exists in 4,500,000,000 BC due to time travel.
- 3,500,500,000 BC-Ameoba come into existence.
- 3,500,250,000 BC-Stupid creatures evolve.
The T-5001 in its Final Form, transforming into the template for the UnWorld.
- 3,500,000,000 BC-Worms evolve from stupid creatures.
- 3,999,999,990 BC-Worms complete super-advanced civilazation.
- 3,999,999,890 BC-Worms fire a missile at Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris destroys all land above the sea, wiping out worms.
- 3,999,999,790 BC-Gods rebuild land above the sea.
- 2,999,999,790 BC-Molluscs evolve.
- 1,999,999,790 BC-Sea-bugs evolve.
- 1,899,999,790 BC-Fish evolve.
- 1,889,999,790 BC-Plants evolve.
- 1,989,999,790 BC-Sea bugs evolve into land bugs, but no worms.
- 1,979,999,790 BC-Amphibians evolve, and leave the water.
- 1,879,999,790 BC-Reptiles evolve.
- 1,779,999,790 BC-Dinosaurs evolve. They are big lizards.
- 1,234,567,890 BC-1234567890 founded.
- 779,999,790 BC-Mammals evolve. They don't lay eggs, except platipi.
- 679,999,790 BC-Birds evolve. They are like mammals, but lay eggs, and can fly. Mostly. For example, chocobos cannot. As a result, they will be a popular food later on.
- 579,999,790 BC-Dinosaurs everywhere but Dinosaur Land get killed by a meteor.Yoshis, however, somehow survive.
Stone Age
- 400,000,000 BC-Early men, Cavemen, evolve. They like to hit things with clubs.
- 399,999,770 BC-Frod Flontstone and Birney Ribble born.
- 399,999,769 BC-Wilmer Sleghern and Betti McBrickir born.
- 379,999,760 BC-Frod and Birney accidentally kill their familes at Mammoth Gorge, decide to live together, and become best friends.
- 379,999,731 BC-Wilmer and Betti meet, and become best friends.
- 379,999,730 BC-Frod and Birney marry Wilmer and Betti.
- 369,999,750 BC-Modern humans, though still Cavemen, evolve. They are welcomed by being hit with clubs.
- 369,999,749 BC-Fire discovered. Burns also discovered very quickly.
- 369,999,748 BC-Mr. Nintendo born, matures within twelve hours, and the the day after his birth, he dies.
Ice Age
- 300,000,000 BC-The Ice Age begins. Everywhere that isn't super hot becomes very, very, cold.
- 299,999,999 BC-Manny the Mammoth and Sid the Sloth make lotsa friends, and together they have lotsa crazy adventures.
- 299,999,998 BC-Some of the Dinosaurs in Dinosaur Land migrate underground.
- 299,999,959 BC-Manny, Sid, and their friends are now very old, and very annoying. They are frozen in ice and left to float in the ocean.
- 200,000,001 BC-The Ice Age stops. Searching around discovers that the earlier cavemen have all gone. So have many animals. Many of the rest get to celebrate by being hit with clubs. It is still early times, after all.
Bronze Age
- 200,000,000 BC-People make bronze. They use it to make weapons. Now there are quicker ways to kill stuff.
- 199,999,999 BC-Metalwork with bronze invented.
- 199,999,998 BC-NintenD'oh secretley founded by Homer Simpson.
- 199,999,950 BC-Farming begins. Now there are more ways to wate time.
- 199,999,900 BC-Pots invented. Now we can carry stuff.
- 199,999,850 BC-Tools invented. Now making stuff is easier.
- 199,999,800 BC-Houses are made easily, and better. But that still doesn't mean anything to Godzilla.
- 199,999,750 BC-Mining begins. Creepers increase in numbers dramatically.
- 199,999,725 BC-People stop travelling and start to live in one place.
- 199,999,700 BC-Woodwork begins. People can now make stuff with wood.
- 199,999,660 BC-People begin to bury the dead in groups in barrows. Eating\playing with\beating up the dead is beginning to go out of fashion amongst normal people.
- 199,999,600 BC-First footpath built. Now we have stuff to walk on!
- 199,990,000 BC-Ceremonies invented. Magic and gods and similar stuff discovered.
- 199,989,960 BC-Stonehenge completed. Druids hang out there.
- 199,989,910 BC-Communial graves replaced by personal graves. Now the smell isn't as bad.
- 199,989,840 BC-Metalwork improves as furnaces do. More weapons!
- 199,989,800 BC-Even though metalwork exists, flintwork is still popular, and now more sophisticated.
- 199,989,750 BC-Decorated pottery is very popular.
- 199,988,800 BC-Amesbury Archer dies near Stonehenge.
- 199,988,740 BC-Seahenge is completed. It's like Stonehenge, but by the sea.
- 199,988,700 BC-Leaders get buried with stuff when they die.
- 199,988,650 BC-Lockington Gold Hoard is buried. Treasure and stuff.
- 199,988,590 BC-Industrial size mines are built. Creepers continue to rise in numbers.
- 199,998,540 BC-Metalwork imrovements mean more weapons and ornaments can be made.
- 199,998,480 BC-Ceremonies improve, and more magic and communication with the gods follows.
- 199,998,430 BC-Woodcutting axes improve.
- 199,998,370 BC-Lotsa people settle in valleys.
- 199,998,320 BC-More metal things produced.
- 199,998,500 BC-Tribal kingdoms are emerging.
- 100,000,000 BC-The end of the Bronze Age, and houses are typically built round.
Iron Age
- 100,000,000 BC-Iron discovered. It's better for practical uses than bronze.
- 99,999,998 BC-Fortresses invented. Now people who have them can't be killed as easily.
- 99,999,997 BC-Sparta founded.
- 99,999,950 BC-Farming settlements start to develop. The original Farmville.
- 99,999,800 BC-Hill forts are popular. Dol Guldur will eventually be one of these.
- 1,999,999 BC-First Nintendo building created by Chuck Norris. Mr. Nintendo's ghost hires Shigeru Miyamoto to be the CEO.
- 1,999,998 BC-Nintend'oh secretley founded.
- 1,000 BC-Dry Bones created by Bowser, though he was a live Koopa back then.
- 33 BC-Link I born.
- 27 BC-King Dinner born.
- 1 BC-End of Iron Age
- Jesus Christ Born. Also, Jebus Khrist secretly created within Hell, which was still under construction at the time.
AD
- 1 AD-King Dinner founds Hyrule.
- 10 AD-King Dinner completes Hyrule, and kills Link I.
- 12 AD-King Dinner is assassinated.