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Hourglass
The UnOmniverse has existed for vigintillions and vigintillions of years. During these years many things happened. This article contains the most important dates in the history of the UnOmniverse.

Timeline

Pre-Big Bang

Big Bang to Habitability

  • 0 ABB - Big Bang caused by Chuck Norris, creating UnMultiverse-Prime and completely destroying everything within 43 million light years.
  • 3 minutes ABB - More matter forms. Antimatter travels back to the big bang, annihilating itself.
  • 380,000 years ABB - UnUniverse becomes transparent, creating the UnUniversal Microwave Background. Chuck Norris creates Undefeatable Palace for all to see.
  • 1,000,000 years ABB - First stars appear with UnOmniverse-Prime's very first battle, between Chuck Norris and some aliens trying to force their way into Undefeatable Palace.
  • 10,000,000 ABB - Habitable epoch begins. Deity Cats born of Chuck Norris’s manhood.
  • 30,000,000 ABB - Habitable epoch ends. Azure born to Ceiling Cat.

REAL Long Ago

  • 7500000000 BC - Final Form Ironeegee travels back in time, along with two asteroids that will later be called Phobos and Deimos.
  • 7000000000 BC - Giygas's heart forms from a swirling mass of hydrogen and helium. Giygas himself forms around it.
  • 6000000000 BC - First true planets appear in UnOmniverse Prime.
  • 5000000000 BC - Maxwell appears from ionized gas on a cylinder.
  • 4500000000 BC - T-5001 (UnEarth) and Chuck Norriseegee (Kittehlandia) appear via time-travel, and slowly accrete dust from the forming Solar System (except for CNg, he was in the Zolar System).
  • 4490000000 BC - Joveegee appears via time travel, rapidly accreting gas.
  • 4480000000 BC - Saturn splits off of Jupiter.
  • 4450000000 BC - T-5001 reaches subfinal size. This will later become the UnWorld. Moon Man smashes into the UnWorld, creating the crater the Pacific Ocean now sits on. Dust, rocks and mechanical parts flung out, in addition to Moon Man, coalesces into the Moon.
  • 4400000000 BC - Final Form Vesta travels back in time, becoming Vesta.

Creatures

  • 4000000000 BC - First stupid creatures appear.
  • 3800000000 BC - First stupid creatures die in Late Heavy Bombardment.
  • 3750000000 BC - New stupid creatures appear.
  • 3500000000 BC - New stupid creatures mutate into an intelligent race known as Worms.
  • 3000000000 BC - Worms send a nuclear missile into space and it hits Chuck Norris.
  • 2999999999 BC - Chuck Norris drowns every worm. The planet is covered by a great ocean. Next worms are much smaller and have no brains. Giygas steals all Worms' technology to create Devil's Machine.
  • 2000000000 BC - Chuck Norris creates first land. Ogg appears out of nowhere, entering Zolar System.
  • 1500000000 BC - 1/3 of the UnWorld is covered with land. UnWorld grazes Mars, stealing most of its mass and oxygen. Mars, angered, creates Space Invaders.
  • 1000000000 BC - Aliens land on the UnWorld and leave 42 Monolites. Phaeton ASPLODES!, creating the Asteroid Belt.
  • 700000000 BC - More stupid creatures appear.
  • 541000000 BC - it's the Cambrian Explosion
  • 520000000 BC - wow, that's animals and stuff
  • 350000000 BC - Dinosaurs appear and PWN stupid creatures.
  • 300000000 BC - Dinosaurs find Monolites and send them to space. What dumb creatures...
  • 200000000 BC - Italian Dinosaurs evolve.
  • 100000000 BC - Monkeys appear.
  • 66000000 BC - A meteorite falls on the UnWorld. It makes almost all life DIE.
  • 65000000 BC - it's mammal time
  • 50000000 BC - Monkeys take over the world. For some reason M. Bison doesn't comment on this...
  • 40000000 BC - Monkeys send nuclear missile in space and it hits Giygas' Devil's Machine.
  • 30000000 BC - Giygas finally reaches the UnWorld and takes every monkey's soul. Monkey lost every technology they explored and started to live on trees and eat bananas.
  • 30000000 BC - Aliens send back one Monolite.
  • 4000000 BC - One Monkey reaches a Monolite and becomes intelligent.
  • 2000000 BC - Humans appear. HOORAY!!!! Remaining monkeys begin to evolve into Leprechauns.

Prehistoric

  • 1999999 BC - Nintendo is founded, and creates its first shame.
  • 1999998 BC - NintenD'oh is founded, and creates its first shame.
  • 1999997 BC - SEGA and Namco are founded, and create their first shames.
  • 1999996 BC - Microsoft is founded, and creates its first operating system. Nineenee is founded, and creates its first shame.
  • 998224 BC - Some guys from Siberia cross the land bridge into North America. The descendants of these Siberians are now called "Native Americans", because the Siberians were the first humans in North America ever.
  • 120000 BC - A bunch of underwater volcanoes eat some Spicy Bubble Gum, causing them to erupt and make Hawaii.
  • 110000 BC - BBC is founded, becoming the worlds first terrorist organization.

Civilization

  • 100000 BC - UnMesopotamia is founded.
  • 80000 BC - A bunch of squares take over present-day Levant.
  • 70000 BC - Phoenix 1 Empire collapses.
  • 50000 BC - Some ancient guys take over Egypt.
  • 40000 BC - chiNAAAAAAA!
  • 30000 BC - Chuck Norris uses Vesta's final form to create [DATA EXPUNGED], a gun of unimaginable power.
  • 20000 BC - [DATA EXPUNGED] fired at Iceland, wiping out trillions of . Chuck Norris disassembles [DATA EXPUNGED].
  • 19000 BC-10000 BC - ??? (Open)

Ancient

  • 9999 BC - Sparta rises and PWNS everything.
  • 9001 BC - Spartan colonists colonize the Americas.
  • 7152 BC - Australia is discovered. It is inhabited by natives.
  • 5274 BC - N. Sanity Island is bombed by Spartan North America, causing it to separate from the mainland. It is taken over by dolphins.
  • 5068 BC - The humans take over N. Sanity Island.
  • 5000 BC the country of Atlantis is founded by Gezol.
  • 1500 BC - Ancient Japan is invaded by Giant Enemy Crabs. Japanese evolve into Samurai to fend them off.
  • 1300 BC Leprechauns and Humans make contact for the first time.
  • 1000 BC - Bowser creates a Koopa and brainwashes it.
  • 753 BC - Leonidas turns Ancient Sparta into the UnRoman Empire.
  • 70 BC - Bulk Bogan & Bob Bogan are born some point around this time.
  • 69 BC - Squadala man goes back in time to find a new hero of koradai. He kidnaps Bob Bogan.
  • 51 BC - Leonidas pays his debts to Darth Vader with France.
  • 40 BC - Bulk Bogan joined the BBC.
  • 12 BC - The first Pac-People appear and take over Australia (renamed Pac-Land).
  • 10 BC - After a good 30 years as a member of the BBC, Bulk Bogan is arrested at sent to the Cadbury Prison Jail Factory.
  • 0 BC - Nothing happens.
  • 0 AD - Bob Bogan is brought to the land that will become Hyrule after being trained by Squadala man to be the new hero of Koradai.

Medieval

Industrial

Modern

21st Century

  • 2010 - Ophelia is spotted near I.M. Meen, who discovers a moon of Uranus and names it after her.
  • 2011 - The scratch cat tries to conquer the world by teaming up with Zing Isle. They poison Radistania, kickstarting The Rutabaga War.
  • 2012 - Typhoon Katrina accidentally New York City. Doomsday happens (just kidding, just a new spiritual age for some mexicans).
  • Mid 2013 - The Old War begins.
  • Late 2013 - This is Bob is killed by Google. Typhoon Katrina accidentally the Philippines.
  • Late 2016 - Bob Saget creates Satanist Empire.
  • 2017 - Ducky and Dark Ducky fight for the first time, destroying Kakariko Village. The Undefeatables gain twelve additional members. Typhoon Katrina accidentally Texas, Florida and Puerto Rico.
  • 2018 - Hyper Weegee stares at Chuck Norris, creating Chuck Norriseegee. Some of the Upper Counsel are depowered. Mr. T rises to power via the Republic of T. The Upper Counsel gains three additional members. Typhoon Katrina accidentally the Carolinas.
  • Also 2018 - Azure Roundhouse Kicked by Chuck Norris. Respawns 3 months later alongside Vesta.
  • Also 2018 - Grand Dad & Ed Edd N Eddy join the Undefeatables, through a omniversal warp from Multiverse No. 9001.
  • Also 2018 - Gabe also joins the Undefeatables
  • 2019 - The 2nd Ducky War ends. Chuck Norriseegee splits into Chuck Norriseegee and regular Chuck Norris. Typhoon Katrina accidentally New Orleans again.
  • Also 2019 - Typhoon Katrina accidentally the Bahamas and Maritime Canada.
  • 2021 - Star Fox becomes serious and starts fighting with the Teletubby Army.
  • Also 2021 - A Murder-Suicide happens in the Johto region, somehow causing the Great Pokemon Attacks of 2021 to happen.
  • 2031 - Chuck Norris ACTUALLY GETS DEFEATED! Sort of...
  • 2040 - Robotnik makes his hit shame "Mortal Pingas", giving him enough funding to cause lotsa death and destruction.
  • 2050 - Bowser's spaceship reaches Alpha Centauri.
  • 2053 - Marx dies from a heart attack. This doesn't count as a defeat, though.
  • 2058 - AkaRed takes over Cameroon, founding AkaRed Unworld Territories.
  • 2063 - Hammer Empire forms, uniting Hammer Island, Weegee UnWorld Territories, and Weegee Kittehlandia Territories.
  • 2074 - Hammer Empire unites with Ceiling Cat UWT & Basement Cat UWT. Hammer Empire now controls all of Colonial Columbia.
  • 2093 - Bowser creates a space station for himself.

Space

World War III and the End of Days

  • 3166 - Marguerite Williams, Vendetta Williams' great^15 granddaughter, is born.
  • 3178 - Williams wages war against the UnWorld.
  • 3179 - Adolf Hitler, Vendetta Williams, and TOKA RYUUMONBUCHI HERSELF are resurrected.
  • 3180 - Fully-Automated Gay Space Communism is invented.
  • 3182 - Kittehlandia gets involved in a nuclear war involving Space Communists.
  • 3187 - Europe goes to great lengths to end the war but fails epically, getting mostly destroyed in the process.
  • 3190 - Hammer Empire establishes a colony in western Florida, as hammers, Lolcats and 'Gees are immune to radiation.
  • 3192 - Hitler and Vendetta Williams are assassinated by Hungry Pumkin.
  • 3195 - War REALLY gets out of hand when Toka Ryuumonbuchi gets the alien race, The Irkens, involved in the war.
  • 3196 - Ryuumonbuchi is killed by Herobrine and Leonidas.
  • 3197 - By this point, 25% of the world's population is wiped out. Tiger Tail overthrows Pac-People, forming Communist Australia. Sonic Islands hit by an mega-tsunami caused by an Irken superweapon.
  • 3198 - Irkens are destroyed by Chuck Norris.
  • 3199 - Marguerite Williams is finally killed.
  • 3200 - The war ends, and by this point 30% of the world's population is wiped out.

After The Half-Apocalypse

  • 4002 - Only 60% of people (of the former population before the Half-Apocalypse) now walk the Earth.
  • 4400 - Hammer Empire begins the slow, brutal Squadalian Takeover.
  • 4408 - The Satanist Empire is taken over by Googolplex.
  • 4424 - Hammer Empire now controls all of the former Squadala Empire.
  • 4425- A new, improved Energizer Bunny is created.
  • 4427 - Chuck Norris gets defeated again... sorta.
  • 4600 - Googolplex dies and Starscream takes over.
  • 4770 - Starscream killed by New, Improved Energizer Bunny. First Satanist Empire ends.
  • 5065 - Kermit creates another heaven.
  • 5066 - Happycat turns Kermit into a lizard person.
  • 5067 - The Clangers' Planet drifts into Acchi-Acchi, the sun of the Estrella Starsystem, and the ice layer begins melting, kickstarting the destruction of it.
  • 5069 - WaKermit destroys Kermit in World War IV.

New Weegee Order Era

  • 5079 - The Weegee Army takes over the Bowser Empire and the Hammer Empire before unifying them with the Weegee Empire, creating the New Weegee Order (NWO).
  • 5083 - Weegee Clone #643 goes back in time to 5000003000 BC.
  • 5093 - Alt 3.0 appears.
  • 5103 - NWO taken over by Chuck Norriseegee.
  • 5120 - Alternate version of T-5001 from Alternate UnUniverse No. 69 goes back in time and through the Void to create this universe's UnWorld.
  • 5121 - Captain H makes the Garnagiverse.

Potato Era

  • 5226 - Potatoes take over the UnWorld.
  • 5244 - Potatoes attempt to take over Kittehlandia, but fail.
  • 5261 - Sir Potabill Spuddo Jackson Nintendo DXLVII finds the end of the UnOmniverse. It's a blue and green door. When you go in the door, you are forever trapped in an infinite white space for all eternity. Everything that does not exist can be found in there. It is so protected that not even CHUCK NORRIS can break out.
  • 5272 - Sir Potabill Spuddo Jackson Nintendo DXLVII dies from a severe Chuck Norriseegee Virus infection.
  • 5369- A newer, MORE improved Energizer Bunny is created. Moon Man created by splicing DNA of Mac Tonight and Adolf Hitler.

Neo-Satanist Empirian Era

Post-Satanist Era

  • 5600 - An even newer, MORER improved Energizer Bunny is created. The Teletubbies finally rise up again and create the Neotubby Empire. Norriseegee Dansen starts, which will result in Kittehlandia exploding.
  • 5665 - Kittehlandia hit by an asteroid 300 UnMeters wide, causing enormous tsunamis all over the planet.
  • 5695 - Happycat kills the Griffin.
  • 5700 - Norriseegee Dansen ends. Kittehlandia asplode.
  • 5701 - Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee duke it out in a final battle. This starts a chain reaction that wipes out half of the UnUniverse. Moon Man travels back in time to 5000000000 BC.
  • 5701 - The Clangers' Planet finally collides with Acchi-Acchi, causing a explosion that wipes out the entirety of the Estrella Starsystem.
  • 5702 - UnUniverse-Prime divides by zero. Chuck Norris repairs it, and also upgrades it so it doesn't get divided again.

UnUniverse Mk. II

  • 5704 - Ganon makes Weegee DIE. It doesn't count as a defeat though.
  • 5705 - Weegee becomes alive again.
  • 5706 - WaBilly Mays Dansen happens, in an attempt to rip off Norriseegee Dansen. It fails.
  • 5707 - UnWorld invaded.
  • 6666 - UnUniverse asplodes and unasplodes for what seems like forever.

UnUniverse Mk. X

  • 666,450 - Brulk Rogan & Friends escape from their dimensional purgatory and make it back to the UnUniverse. He takes over West Brazil and declares war against Atlantis.
  • 292,277,026,596 - 64 bit Unix becomes unfunctionable. Technology starts recording time using 128 bit Unix time.
  • 999,999,999,999,999 - UnUniverse stops asploding.
  • 1,000,000,000,000,000 AD - Pepsiman invades the western half of the Satanist Empire (Antarctica) via the power of Pepsi after Googolplex continues all the rage everywhere.
  • 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 AD - Birth of Dimentio, an insane jester who watches over his prisoners in the Dimension Jail.
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