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Hourglass
The UnOmniverse has existed for vigintillions and vigintillions of years. During these years many things happened. This article contains the most important dates in the history of the UnOmniverse.

Timeline

Pre-Big Bang

Big Bang to Habitability

  • 0 ABB - Big Bang caused by Chuck Norris, creating UnMultiverse-Prime and completely destroying everything within 43 million light years.
  • 3 minutes ABB - More matter forms. Antimatter travels back to the big bang, annihilating itself.
  • 380,000 years ABB - UnUniverse becomes transparent, creating the UnUniversal Microwave Background. Chuck Norris creates Undefeatable Palace for all to see.
  • 1,000,000 years ABB - First stars appear with UnOmniverse-Prime's very first battle, between Chuck Norris and some aliens trying to force their way into Undefeatable Palace.
  • 10,000,000 ABB - Habitable epoch begins.
  • 30,000,000 ABB - Habitable epoch ends.

REAL Long Ago

  • 7500000000 BC - Final Form Ironeegee travels back in time, along with two asteroids that will later be called Phobos and Deimos.
  • 7000000000 BC - Giygas's heart forms from a swirling mass of hydrogen and helium. Giygas himself forms around it.
  • 6000000000 BC - First true planets appear in UnOmniverse Prime.
  • 5000000000 BC - Maxwell appears from ionized gas on a cylinder.
  • 4500000000 BC - T-5001 (UnEarth) and Chuck Norriseegee (Kittehlandia) appear via time-travel, and slowly accrete dust in their respective planetary systems' habitable zone.
  • 4490000000 BC - Joveegee appears via time travel, rapidly accreting gas.
  • 4480000000 BC - Saturn has some marital problems with Jupiter, but at least she stopped him from commiting give star lithium.
  • 4470000000 BC - Uranus pops out and surrounds itself with a thick sheet of gas.
  • 4460000000 BC - WaRui is born and captures a binary Kuiper Belt object.
  • 4450000000 BC - T-5001 reaches subfinal size. This will later become the UnWorld. Moon Man smashes into the UnWorld, creating the crater the Pacific Ocean now sits on. Dust, rocks and mechanical parts flung out, in addition to Moon Man, coalesces into the Moon.
  • 4400000000 BC - Vesta (the stick figure) arrives from the future in his final form, becoming Vesta (the asteroid).

Creatures

  • 4000000000 BC - First stupid creatures appear.
  • 3800000000 BC - First stupid creatures die in Late Heavy Bombardment.
  • 3750000000 BC - New stupid creatures appear.
  • 3500000000 BC - New stupid creatures mutate into an intelligent race known as Worms.
  • 3000000000 BC - Worms send a nuclear missile into space and it hits Chuck Norris.
  • 2999999999 BC - Chuck Norris drowns every worm. The planet is covered by a great ocean. Next worms are much smaller and have no brains. Giygas steals all Worms' technology to create Devil's Machine.
  • 2000000000 BC - Chuck Norris creates first land. Ogg appears out of nowhere, entering Zolar System.
  • 1500000000 BC - 1/3 of the UnWorld is covered with land. UnWorld grazes Mars, stealing most of its mass and oxygen. Mars, angered, creates Space Invaders.
  • 1000000000 BC - Aliens land on the UnWorld and leave 42 Monolites. Phaeton ASPLODES!, creating the Asteroid Belt.
  • 700000000 BC - More stupid creatures appear.
  • 541000000 BC - it's the Cambrian Explosion
  • 520000000 BC - wow, that's animals and stuff
  • 350000000 BC - Dinosaurs appear and PWN stupid creatures.
  • 300000000 BC - Dinosaurs find Monolites and send them to space. What dumb creatures...
  • 240000000 BC - Ganondorf is born
  • 239999979 BC - Ganondorf takes control over the Dinosaur World
  • 200000000 BC - Italian Dinosaurs evolve.
  • 100000000 BC - Monkeys appear.
  • 66000000 BC - A giant space rock makes almost all life on the planet DIE.
  • 65000000 BC - it's mammal time
  • 65000000 BC - Jigglypuff discovers a bridge in the UnWorld that when she uses her final smash, makes her super giant and really powerful. She and her nearly 1,000,000 friends abuse this to no end.
  • 64999980 BC - The UFO stops repairing the Bridge of Eldin, and after time the population of Giant Jigglypuffs eventually becomes extinct.
  • 50000000 BC - Monkeys take over the world. For some reason M. Bison doesn't comment on this...
  • 40000000 BC - Monkeys send nuclear missile in space and it hits Giygas' Devil's Machine.
  • 30000000 BC - Giygas finally reaches the UnWorld and takes every monkey's soul. Monkey lost every technology they explored and started to live on trees and eat bananas.
  • 30000000 BC - Aliens send back one Monolite.
  • 4000000 BC - One Monkey reaches a Monolite and becomes intelligent.
  • 2000000 BC - Humans appear. HOORAY!!!! Remaining monkeys begin to evolve into Leprechauns.

Prehistoric

  • 1999999 BC - Nintendo is founded, and creates its first shame.
  • 1999998 BC - NintenD'oh is founded, and creates its first shame.
  • 1999997 BC - SEGA and Namco are founded, and create their first shames.
  • 1999996 BC - Microsoft is founded, and creates its first operating system. Nineenee is founded, and creates its first shame.
  • 998224 BC - Some guys from Siberia cross the land bridge into North America. The descendants of these Siberians are now called "Native Americans", because the Siberians were the first humans in North America ever.
  • 120000 BC - A bunch of underwater volcanoes eat some Spicy Bubble Gum, causing them to erupt and make Hawaii.
  • 110000 BC - BBC is founded, becoming the worlds first terrorist organization.

Civilization

  • 100000 BC - UnMesopotamia is founded.
  • 80000 BC - A bunch of squares take over present-day Levant.
  • 70000 BC - Phoenix 1 Empire collapses.
  • 50000 BC - Some ancient guys take over Egypt.
  • 40000 BC - China paradoxically invents itself. At this point, though, paradoxes are nothing new.
  • 32768 BC - Weegee is created
  • 30000 BC - Chuck Norris uses Vesta's final form to create [DATA EXPUNGED], a gun of unimaginable power.
  • 20000 BC - [DATA EXPUNGED] fired at Greenland, wiping out the Clovis civilization in North UnAmerica. Chuck Norris disassembles [DATA EXPUNGED].
  • 19000 BC-10000 BC - ??? (Open)
  • 19000 BC - Scatman's World founded.

Ancient

  • 9999 BC - Sparta rises and PWNS everything.
  • 9001 BC - Spartan colonists colonize the Americas.
  • 7152 BC - Australia is discovered. It is inhabited by natives.
  • 5274 BC - N. Sanity Island is bombed by Spartan North America, causing it to separate from the mainland. It is taken over by dolphins.
  • 5068 BC - The humans take over N. Sanity Island.
  • 5000 BC - The country of Atlantis is founded by Gezol.
  • 2000 BC - The Spartans discover Ketamine and create myths while they were high on it.
  • 1500 BC - Ancient Japan is invaded by Giant Enemy Crabs. Japanese evolve into Samurai to fend them off.
  • 1300 BC Leprechauns and Humans make contact for the first time.
  • 1000 BC - Bowser creates a Koopa and brainwashes it.
  • 753 BC - Leonidas turns Ancient Sparta into the UnRoman Empire.
  • 70 BC - Bulk Bogan & Bob Bogan are born some point around this time.
  • 69 BC - Squadala man goes back in time to find a new hero of Koridai. He kidnaps Bob Bogan.
  • 51 BC - Leonidas pays his debts to Darth Vader with France.
  • 40 BC - Bulk Bogan joined the BBC.
  • 12 BC - The first Pac-People appear and take over Australia (renamed Pac-Land).
  • 10 BC - After a good 30 years as a member of the BBC, Bulk Bogan is arrested at sent to the Cadbury Prison Jail Factory.
  • 0 BC - Nothing happens.
  • 0 AD - Bob Bogan is brought to the land that will become Hyrule after being trained by Squadala man to be the new hero of Koridai.

Medieval

Industrial

Modern

21st Century

Space

World War III and the End of Days

  • 3166 - Marguerite Williams, Vendetta Williams' great^15 granddaughter, is born.
  • 3178 - Williams wages war against the UnWorld.
  • 3179 - Adolf Hitler, Vendetta Williams, and TOKA RYUUMONBUCHI HERSELF are resurrected.
  • 3180 - Fully-Automated Gay Space Communism is invented.
  • 3182 - Kittehlandia gets involved in a nuclear war involving Space Communists.
  • 3187 - Europe goes to great lengths to end the war but fails epically, getting mostly destroyed in the process.
  • 3190 - Hammer Empire establishes a colony in western Florida, as hammers, Lolcats and 'Gees are immune to radiation.
  • 3192 - Hitler and Vendetta Williams are assassinated by Hungry Pumkin.
  • 3195 - War REALLY gets out of hand when Toka Ryuumonbuchi gets the alien race, The Irkens, involved in the war.
  • 3196 - Ryuumonbuchi is killed by Herobrine and Leonidas.
  • 3197 - By this point, 25% of the world's population is wiped out. Tiger Tail overthrows Pac-People, forming Communist Australia. Sonic Islands hit by an mega-tsunami caused by an Irken superweapon.
  • 3198 - Irkens are destroyed by Chuck Norris.
  • 3199 - Marguerite Williams is finally killed.
  • 3200 - The war ends, and by this point 30% of the world's population is wiped out.

After The Half-Apocalypse

  • 4002 - Only 60% of people (of the former population before the Half-Apocalypse) now walk the Earth.
  • 4400 - Hammer Empire begins the slow, brutal Squadalian Takeover.
  • 4408 - The Satanist Empire is taken over by Googolplex.
  • 4424 - Hammer Empire now controls all of the former Squadala Empire.
  • 4425- A new, improved Energizer Bunny is created.
  • 4427 - Chuck Norris gets defeated again... sorta.
  • 4600 - Googolplex dies and Starscream takes over.
  • 4770 - Starscream killed by New, Improved Energizer Bunny. First Satanist Empire ends.
  • 5065 - Kermit creates another heaven.
  • 5066 - Happycat turns Kermit into a lizard person.
  • 5067 - The Clangers' Planet drifts into Acchi-Acchi, the sun of the Estrella Starsystem, and the ice layer begins melting, kickstarting the destruction of it.
  • 5069 - WaKermit destroys Kermit in World War IV.

New Weegee Order Era

  • 5079 - The Weegee Army takes over the Bowser Empire and the Hammer Empire before unifying them with the Weegee Empire, creating the New Weegee Order (NWO).
  • 5083 - Weegee Clone #643 goes back in time to 5000003000 BC.
  • 5093 - Alt 3.0 appears.
  • 5103 - NWO taken over by Chuck Norriseegee.
  • 5120 - Alternate version of T-5001 from Alternate UnUniverse No. 69 goes back in time and through the Void to create this universe's UnWorld.
  • 5121 - Captain H makes the Garnagiverse.

Potato Era

Neo-Satanist Empirian Era

Post-Satanist Era

  • 5600 - An even newer, MORER improved Energizer Bunny is created. The Teletubbies finally rise up again and create the Neotubby Empire. Kittehlandia World War C starts, which will result in the NEDM Black Hole.
  • 5605 - NaN assumes her final form.
  • 5610 - Kittehlandia World War C ends with Kittehlandia falling apart from overuse of NEDM-powered weapons, creating the NEDM Black Hole, which sucks up NaN and permakills her. Happycat makes a replacement for NaN by creating a NEDM White Hole.
  • 5695 - Happycat kills the Griffin.
  • 5701 - Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee duke it out in a final battle. This starts a chain reaction that wipes out half of the UnUniverse. Moon Man travels back in time to 5000000000 BC.
  • 5701 - The Clangers' Planet finally collides with Acchi-Acchi, causing a explosion that wipes out the entirety of the Estrella Starsystem.
  • 5702 - UnUniverse-Prime divides by zero. Chuck Norris repairs it, and also upgrades it so it doesn't get divided again.

UnUniverse Mk. II

  • 5704 - Ganon makes Weegee DIE. It doesn't count as a defeat though.
  • 5705 - Weegee becomes alive again.
  • 5707 - UnWorld invaded.
  • 6666 - UnUniverse asplodes and unasplodes for what seems like forever.

UnUniverse Mk. X

  • 666,450 - Brulk Rogan & Friends escape from their dimensional purgatory and make it back to the UnUniverse. He takes over West Brazil and declares war against Atlantis.
  • 292,277,026,596 - 64 bit Unix becomes unfunctionable. Technology starts recording time using 128 bit Unix time.
  • 999,999,999,999,999 - UnUniverse stops asploding.
  • 1,000,000,000,000,000 AD - Pepsiman invades Mr Rogers' Empire (Antarctica) via the power of Pepsi after Mr. Rogers dies.
  • 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 AD - Birth of Dimentio, an insane jester who watches over his prisoners in the Dimension Jail.
  • 1 googol AD - Everything ends leaving only the Undefeatables alive for the rest of eternity.
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