The War Starts is Season 1 Episode 1 of The Super Wario Bros. Wah-wah Show!
- Donkey Kong
- Homer Simpson
- Dry Bones
- Some tiny moron that nobody cares about
- Goombas (KIA)
- Koopa Troopas (KIA)
- Boos (KIA)
WALUIGI: What the heck is this stuff for, boss?
WARIO: I am throwing a party for the Koopa Dynastia.
WARIO: Because I want to.
WALUIGI: But we are an evil organization! What if we are next? What if they are going to crash the party?!
WARIO: Oh, don't worry, Waluigi. We are far from being next on their list. I promise.
Meanwhile in the Koopa Dynastia base...
DRY BONES: Let's see what's next in my list...
DRY BONES looks at his target list. He sees that his next target is the Drop Dead Wario Team. SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT walks in the office and sees that DRY BONES is looking at his list.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: What's next in our list of evil organizations, boss? Also, I heard that the Drop Dead Wario Team is throwing a party for us, for some reason...
DRY BONES: The next in our list is indeed the DDWT. Also, why would they be throwing a party for us?
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: I'm not sure. They must not know that they are next on the list.
DRY BONES: Or it could be a surprise attack.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Maybe...
DRY BONES: ...
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: I'll get the army ready. We'll give that blasted Drop Dead Wario Team the biggest attack ever!
DRY BONES: 'K.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT leaves the office.
DRY BONES: They won't know what's coming. Hehehehehehehe...
The party is about to start. WARIO is at the front door. He is going to greet everyone who comes here. The rest of the Drop Dead Wario Team is operating the rest of the party. WARIO has been waiting for a while.
WARIO: What the hell is taking so long? They should have been here a while ago!
WARIO: WHAT THE FUCK?!
The KOOPA TROOPAS have guns. They try and shoot WARIO, but WARIO hides in the house.
WARIO: DDWT, DDWT!!
WALUIGI: What is it, Wario? And why do you sound like you're panicking?
WARIO: The Koopa Dynastia is attacking! THEY HAVE A HUGE ARMY!!
HOMER SIMPSON: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
BOWSER: Welp, we're screwed.
WALUIGI: Ha! I called it!
WARIO: Shut up, Waluigi! This is serious!
DONKEY KONG: What the hell are we supposed to do now? We are outnumbered!
The Drop Dead Wario Team then hears loud knocking on the door.
DRY BONES (off-camera): Come on out, Fail Barf Fuckrio Failures! We know you're in there, you bunch of pussies!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT (off-camera): Yeah! Or else we'll have to break in and use extreme measures!!
WARIO: Run. Definitely.
BOWSER: Yeah. EVERYBODY RUN!
The Drop Dead Wario Team runs out the back door. One of the BOOS saw them running.
BOO #123: Sir! I see them running!
DRY BONES: Oh really? Well, it seems like they have surrendered like the pussies they are.
KOOPA TROOPA #684: Should we trash the house anyways?
DRY BONES: Nah. Maybe later.
The army leaves.
The Drop Dead Wario Team are in the middle of a nondescript field.
WARIO: Well, that failed miserably.
WALUIGI: Yeah. This is why you shouldn't ever invite the Koopa Dynastia to a party.
HOMER SIMPSON: I agree. That was a dumbass move, Wario.
WARIO: Hey! I didn't know that we were next on the list, so shut up!
HOMER SIMPSON: Whatever...
BOWSER: Should we check if the house is safe?
The Drop Dead Wario Team walk to their house to see that the army has left, and the house hasn't been trashed. However, there are still plenty of party decorations everywhere.
DONKEY KONG: Now what do we do?
WARIO: Declare war.
WALUIGI: What?! Are you crazy?!
WARIO: Maybe, but hear me out! They have fucked with us for the last time, and I am tired of it! Are you?
WALUIGI: Well, yeah, but they have a large and strong army! And what are we? Wannabe gangsters! Our group sucks! We'll be killed in no time if we declare war!
WARIO: Don't worry, Waluigi. We will win this war somehow. Let me make and mail the war request letter to the Koopa Dynastia, okay?
WALUIGI: Fine, but I don't think we will win though.
WARIO writes the war request and mails it to the Koopa Dynastia base.
At the Koopa Dynastia base, DRY BONES is at his office, planning another attack. SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT comes in the office.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Sir! You got a letter from Wario!
DRY BONES: Wario? Is it a war request?
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: I don't know. I haven't read it yet.
DRY BONES: Well, give it to me then. I'll read it.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT gives the letter to DRY BONES. DRY BONES reads it.
"Deer Dreye 🅱ones (HAHAHAHAHA GET IT GET IT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOICE MEME)
THIS IS WAR REQUEEST YOU ASSSHOEL U CROSS LINE U DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YESH!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (CIRCEL ONE)"
DRY BONES: Well, this is going to be an easy war.
DRY BONES circles yes.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: So, it's a war then?
DRY BONES: Yes. This is officially a war. I will now write a request accepted letter to him.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Okay.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT leaves the office. DRY BONES begins writing the letter.
Later at WARIO's house, the Drop Dead Wario Team are waiting for the request accepted letter. And then a PARATROOPA arrived. He descends to the mailbox and puts it in. The PARATROOPA flies away. WARIO goes outside and gets the letter. He comes back inside.
WARIO: Guys, the letter arrived!
BOWSER: Oh really? What does it say?
WARIO: I don't know. I haven't read it yet.
HOMER SIMPSON: Read it, then.
WARIO opens the mail and reads the letter.
The request that you sent to me has been accepted. Although, I would like it to be more professional next time.
Our first battle will be tomorrow at the fields. You better be prepared, because I'm bringing the whole army with me. I always come prepared and use my full power, you see. You should, too.
From, Dry Bones"
WALUIGI: Well, what did it say?
WARIO: It says that the war request has been accepted. Our first battle will be tomorrow at the fields.
DONKEY KONG: We should start training for it, then.
WARIO: Great idea! Let's train, everybody!
The rest of the scene is a 2 minute training montage. This also includes the Koopa Dynastia training as well.
The next day, the Drop Dead Wario Team and the Koopa Dynastia are at the field, which is the same nondescript field that the Drop Dead Wario Team were in. Each side has strong weapons. The Koopa Dynastia has more soldiers than the Drop Dead Wario Team. The underlings and freelancers in the enemy army all have guns. The Drop Dead Wario Team has slightly weaker guns.
DRY BONES: Give it up, Shit Ass Retardo Lolcows! You lost already!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Yeah! What he said!
WARIO: How could we have lost if we haven't fought yet?
DRY BONES: Because we are the superior army! We got more people than you!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: And more guns than you!
DRY BONES: Yeah! So give up!
WARIO: (They're right... I can't win, no matter how hard I try to.)
DRY BONES: We gonna start this battle or what?
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Yeah. I'm starting to get impatient here. I want action already!
WARIO: (Hey, wait a minute...) Waluigi, do you have any Garlic?
WALUIGI: I don't have it with me right now, but we have some in the fridge. Are you planning to turn into WARIO-MAN?
DRY BONES realizes something horrible.
GOOMBA #742: What's all this stuff about Garlic and Wario-Man?
BOO #123: I agree, shitcake. What are they planning?
GOOMBA #742: Really dude? Shitcake? God, you're so fucking pathetic sometimes.
BOO #123: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bi-
DRY BONES: SHUT. UP. There is no time for arguments! We gotta stop them from getting that Garlic! EVERYBODY ATTACK!
The army attacks now.
WARIO: WALUIGI, GO GET THE GARLIC FROM THE FRIDGE!
WALUIGI runs from the battle and into the house. Meanwhile, the Drop Dead Wario Team (to no one's surprise) are losing. All of the members (except WALUIGI, who is still getting the Garlic) got injured badly.
DRY BONES: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You can't even put up a good fight! You exceptional individuals!
HOMER SIMPSON: Don't call us- (coughs blood)
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: I agree! You are all retarded! You really thought you could take us on?! Look at yourselves!
DRY BONES: Yeah! Look at how bad you did! You knew that you couldn't take us on, yet you tried anyway! Hah! What losers. We won this war already. Semper Fidelis to all ma armed forces who helped! Let's leave, troops.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Yeah. This is the easiest war we have ever fought.
WALUIGI suddenly returns with the Garlic.
WALUIGI: Oh my god! I didn't think it would be THIS bad!
DRY BONES: False alarm, troops. Waluigi is here. Let me and Some tiny moron that nobody cares about handle this.
DRY BONES and SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT runs after WALUIGI. But then, WALUIGI quickly puts the Garlic in WARIO's mouth, and then he gets beat up by the two commanders. WARIO transforms into WARIO-MAN. DRY BONES and SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT stops beating up WALUIGI.
DRY BONES: FUCK! WE'RE TOO LATE!
WARIO-MAN: You haven't won this war yet, retards! I will defeat you all with my l33t hax0r skills!
WARIO-MAN proceeds to kill all of the underlings and freelancers. He then beats up DRY BONES and SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT.
DRY BONES: o-ow...
WARIO-MAN: My work here is done.
WARIO-MAN changes back to WARIO, who is now fully healed. WARIO looks at all of the injured people in his team. He then looks at DRY BONES and SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT.
DRY BONES: You may have won this battle, but when we strike back, your end will come...
WARIO: Yeah, yeah. Man, look at all of my injured people! I gotta call 911.
WARIO dials 911.
At WARIO's house, WARIO, WALUIGI, and the rest of the fully-healed Drop Dead Wario Team are discussing the war and the battle.
WARIO: Well, that was a very tough battle guys. We did it, though!
WALUIGI: Yeah, but Wario, now we don't have any Garlic! And what if they come back to attack us again? We may have won that battle, but we will lose the war.
HOMER SIMPSON: I'm gonna have to agree with Waluigi here.
BOWSER: Yeah, and besides, Garlic costs $1,000,000 each piece! We don't have that much money yet! We only got $1,000!
WARIO: Relax, guys. All of their underlings and freelancers are killed. As far as I know, it's just Dry Bones and Some tiny moron that nobody cares about. I don't think they have any more soldiers!
DONKEY KONG: Good point. Dry Bones and Some tiny moron that nobody cares about are very strong, though. Not as strong as us, but we may need to hire some new members just in case.
WARIO: New members? You know, that's not a bad idea! Tomorrow, we will find some new members! Anyone agree?
EVERYONE ELSE: We agree!
WARIO: Then it is settled! Like I said before, we will begin the search tomorrow.
Meanwhile at the Koopa Dynastia base, DRY BONES and SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT are at the office.
DRY BONES: This is BULLSHIT! My underlings and freelancers just got killed by that stupid transformation!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: I know! It sucks! It's just the two of us now. What the hell are we supposed to do? We are never going to win this war now.
DRY BONES: Hmm... (This isn't good. The tables have turned unexpectedly. All of my soldiers were killed. I need to kill those assholes somehow. But how...?)
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: We are just sitting ducks out here now. I can't believe the Dynastia has to end like this, but it seems like that may be the reality...
DRY BONES: ...No. This is not the end of us. There is always a solution to a problem. Even with a problem like this...
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Are you sure?
DRY BONES: Yes.
DRY BONES thinks for a moment. Then, he gets an idea.
DRY BONES: EUREKA! I got an idea!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Really? What is it?
DRY BONES: We hire new teammates! Strong and powerful teammates that are better than that damned Wario-Man!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: That's,,,the best idea you've ever had!
DRY BONES: Yes. We will get enough teammates to outnumber the DDWT, but not too much. We will start searching tomorrow. Some tiny moron that nobody cares about, you are dismissed.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Okay, sir!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT leaves the office. The screen turns black. White text appears.
TEXT: To be continued...
- Many critics praised this first episode for the awesome acting. It's almost like they were really fighting! They also praised it for the great editing, great effects, and more. Some critics immediately called this show the greatest show of the UnWorld.
- The acting got better over time, especially in Season 2.
- The only difference between this and the Pilot Pitch was that this version was professionally edited, while the Pilot Pitch had some cheap editing in Windows Movie Maker.
- This article is a remake of The Super Wario Bros. Wah-wah Show! (the original version back in the UnMario Wiki) episode, The War Begins.
- This episode also appears on the UnMario Wiki: The War Starts