UnAnything Wiki

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Thomas Jane Punisher

Mr. Skullman in all his glory

Frank Castle is the legendary vigilante known as The Punisher. The reason for why he got that nickname is for his tendency to tell insanely awesome puns before and after killing his enemies. His puns are so glorious that even omnipotent gods like Billy Mays and Chester Cheetah get a kick out of it.

Origin[]

Originally, Frank lived a boring punless life, but that all changed one day when he was visited by Mike Wazowski and Mike said to Frank "hey, you know what would be really cool? If you just decided to dedicate your life to cold and senseless murder from now on.

MIKE

The man who set Frank Castle on his quest

Frank responded to this statement with "ok, its not like I got anything better to do" and thus The Punisher was born.

The start of a new life[]

As The Punisher. Mr. Castle no longer sought to be an upstanding citizen like a little pussy, he instead decided to live his life in an awesome way and start killing criminals.

This would naturally lead to him getting in trouble with UnOmniversal beings like Colonel Sanders, Ronald McDonald, and Mr. Clean but he just responded by killing them too, because he's awesome and doesn't give a flying handshake what others think about him. Unfortunately they killed him back with their products, but eventually they both just gave up killing each other and settled in court.

Powers[]

The Punisher's main method of attacking usually involves guns, knives, or his bare hands, but his deadliest attacks are his puns. Hearing a pun from him will cause you to spontaneously combust and for bits and pieces of you to be scattered around the universe.

The Punisher can also use the seven Chaos Emeralds to supercharge his puns and create hyper puns that can destroy whole galaxies. Truly a deadly force to be reckoned with.

Iconic puns[]

These puns have been scrubbed thoroughly so as to make sure that the person reading them does not burst into flames like what would happen normally.

Well that's one way to get out of a sticky situation

The Punisher, after stabbing Colonel Sanders to death with a stick

Are you a pencil? Because I'm about to fill you up with lead

The Punisher, before gunning down John Travolta

Now that's what I call getting turtle waxed

The Punisher, after skinning Leonardo to the bone

Allow me to cushion your fall

The Punisher, after crushing Shaquille 'O' Neil's head with a couch

Here's something for you to reflect on

The Punisher, before punching Mario through a mirror

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