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Cat in the Hat

the killer himself.

The Cat in the Hat is an evil mass murderer, psychopath, and the star of The Cat in the Hat show and has his own island (or organization) (see below). He has killed thousands of people, broken into numerous houses, dodged taxes, and will do anything for a quick buck.

Biography[]

Creation[]

The Cat was created by Dr. Seuss along with Horton the Elephant and The Grinch and others as part of Seussville. This turned out to be the dumbest thing he'd ever done, as since the laws of physics don't apply in Seussville, his hat could contain anything, and he could get it to stretch out of a hatch in his hat with his mind. He used his hat to discover our world, then made a crate. This crate was really a portal connecting his world to ours, which he used to travel to Earth.

Starting his show[]

The killing started, when two kid's mom left the house and he popped out of nowhere, the two kids looked at him like WTF, he said to them "Hey kids! lets go killing!". After killing some people, the cat discovered money. Like everybody to ever discover money, he instantly loved it. After killing some more people, he discovered he could get lots of money by hosting a TV show, so he got a bunch of people from Seussville, and then created some more, which had better names than the ones Seuss created, then they beat up the network until they let them have a show. They called it "The Cat in the Hat show", and in each episode, they did comedy sketches, random violent things, and showed how to make deadly weapons, as well as other things.

The show gets popular[]

The show became an instant hit, and the cat got rich. The show got better and better, and the cat could afford to do even more dangerous things on the show, and create more characters for the show, as well as employ more people from Seussville. Before long, the network forgave them for beating them up, and gave them a promotion, with new episodes now appearing daily, with thousands of gormless children watching the show every day.

The network crashes[]

After a sketch involving some barbed wire, a porta-loo, and electric eels went horribly wrong, all the electrical networks in UnAmerica went bust. TV producers panicked, and children looked for something else to do. With nothing to do, the cat went on a crazy adventure with some kids, before going on holiday to Hawaii, were they had no TV anyway.

Drugs (Lots of them)[]

During the brief period in which the network was out of operation, The Cat in the Hat fell into a deep depression, relying on drugs, alcohol and more drugs to continue on with his life. His favorites at the time were crack cocaine and methamphetamine.

The network is fixed[]

After months with electricity, the network was finally repaired, at the start of the summer holidays. The cat celebrated with a summer special, and inspired by his crazy adventure, allowed kids on the show. This made the show even more popular, and the cat got even more money.

Currently[]

His show is on a channel called Crap Network. In 1996, He and Dr. Seuss founded a island called The Wubbulous World of Dr. Seuss..

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