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The Billy Mays Chronicles is a series of events, detailing the events of Billy Mays' struggle to take over all of humanity.

The Return of Billy Mays

Ever since he was killed, Billy Mays was reincarnated by a wandering Wonder Woman. He went to take over the world and plead with Vladimir Putin to help him build a giant laser, seeing how Vladimir Putin was a genius. He denied, but did it anyways. Billy soon had his giant mega death laser, but instead of using it, decided to kill himself. 30 years later he was revived by Vladimir Putin, and Billy Mays once again tried to take over the world, and renamed Russia "Maysistan". He called Vladimir Putin "VP". VP was soon elected as Vice President, and was renamed "VPVP". He later had various poops and was renamed "VPVPVP". Then, VPVPVP subscribed to a magazine called Vile People and was renamed "VPVPVPVP". Soon, Billy Mays desired to take over Germany, but upon learning that Germany was a stupid name, renamed it Voop Place. Vladimir Putin took control of it, and was re-re-re-re-renamed "VPVPVPVPVP". Billy Mays then proceded to take over The United States and Poland, and then picked up Poland with a metal claw and moved it over to the US so it had 51 states. VPVPVPVPVP suddenly caught OCD from the fat 'Muricans, however, and said to move Poland back. Mays said it was too pricy, and VPVPVPVPVP threatened to kill himself if he didn't. Billy said go ahead, and VPVPVPVPVP jumped off a cliff so we didn't have to say his long-a** nickname again. Bill respected that he sacrificed himself for this purpose, and called him "Vitally Powerful". And thus, his corpse was renamed "VPVPVPVPVPVP".

This was the first phase of Billy Mays' plan.

The Re-rise of Billy Mays

Billy Mays was sitting in his office, feeling lonely, and decided to go buy himself some flowers. However, he accidentally killed himself on the way. 300 years later, Russia had still adopted the name "Maysistan" and Voop Place (Germany) was re-established as The Democratic Dictatorship Kingdom and Queendom of the Monarchy Anarchic Constitutional Monarchy Parliamentary and Presidential Republican Democratic Unitary Confederation of Voop Place. Shortly after, VPVPVPVPVPVP was resurrected as a "Voopish Powerbot", and thus renamed "VPVPVPVPVPVPVP". Soon, however, he renamed himself "7 VP" so everyone could live in harmony without having to type his stupidly long name. Soon, 7 VP desired to resurrect Billy Mays so they could rule their empire as father and son (7 VP wishing to adopt Billy), but when Billy was resurrected, he was accidentally programmed with 2 heads. 7 VP saw this as very ugly and left him, and Billy Mays, in despair, went to go break a bunch of copyright laws to liven his spirits. He started a TV Show called "Teh Ay-Teem" featuring "Mistah Tee". Mr. T sued him and won. After drinking the nicely prepared soda made by Mr. T, Mays was granted the rights to destroy the world. He was so happy he decided to get his 2nd head chopped off and meet 7 VP. He did so, but 7 VP ate some pasta that killed Billy Mays for no explained reason.

Soon, Billy Mays woke up and decided to actually do something. He took over every country on earth, and combined Voop Place, the US (including Poland), Canada, Hyrule, Mexico, South Africa, Brazil, the Squadala Empire, the Bowser UnWorld Territories, and Maysistan into a place known as "New Maysistan". Soon, 7 VP came to apologize, and Mays said he'd forgive him if he jumped off a cliff. 7 VP did so, and was revived as "Robo-7 VP". Mays renamed him Robo-Vlad, and with him, turned the sea into OxiClean. Soon, a young wizard named Gandalf Hitler desired to stop Mayse, and went to his dorm.

Hitler committed suicide. Mays won. The end.

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