UnAmerican Warthog

The American Warthog in the f̶l̶e̶s̶h̶ canvas.

The American Warthog is a cosmic abortion of another dimension, it is theorized that it could possibly be from the Real World. This is because it is called the American Warthog and not the UnAmerican Warthog. The American Warthog also has a set of abilities that it uses to be an annoyance whenever it can.

Randy with painting 2020-08-01 at 6.52.02 PM

The Painting next to Randy Warthog just seconds before disappearing.


The American Warthog consists of a painting about three feet tall and 1.5 feet long, however when floating it stands at eye level depending on the entity it is with. The painting itself depicts a farmer and his wife, but the farmer has the head of a warthog. The painting also uses quite vivid colors that may confuse the viewer if stared at for too long.


It is a chilly night in November of 2019. Local singer and certifiably... uhhh.... "creative" guy Randy Warthog goes to paint a painting, but he trips over an echidna and makes a bunch of paint fall on a blank canvas. The result was the paint perfectly creating The American Warthog. Within the same nanosecond the fabrics of space and time were unable to handle the weird creativity being joined together at once, so a dimensional rift appeared and took the painting to the UnUniverse. During the travel it absorbed anomalous energy which caused it to gain it's power.

The American Warthog going through the rift to the UnUniverse


The American Warthog can do the following:

  • Mercilessly beat people up by smacking itself against them.
  • Float.
  • Regenerate all damage done but slowly. (3-5 days for full regeneration.)
  • Can travel at 3mph-26mph. (Depends if walking, running, or sprinting.)
  • Cast a magical aura around itself when active. (When it is not recharging itself or regenerating)

The American Warthog about to give you the beating of a lifetime.


  • Takes days to fully regenerate if destroyed
  • Has to take time to recharge if it works too hard to beat you. (7-10 hours)
  • Can't actually kill somebody, but can leave them in a critical near death state.
  • Conventional means can easily damage/destroy it. It is only a painting.
  • Bright flashes of light can confuse it for a few seconds giving you time to run away.
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.