|
OSHOOT! THERE’S TOO MANY RED LINKS!1!! |
Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. Thanos, on retcons
Thanos J. Thanos, Sr is a god. Because he is a god, he is an undefeatable. He was born in the Johnverse as a structural support beam, until Pillar John and Gerome he introduced him to the UnWorld. He had the ability to erase half of the UnUniverse at the snap of his fingers before he was PWNed in New Jersey by lotsa n00bs.
What are the Infinity Stones, j3rk?!
They're Chuck Norris's kidney stones. Since kidney stones are more powerful than tears, this means that the Infinity Stones have absolutely insane power, the kind to kill a Lower Undefeatable. Thanos wanted to use them to kill 50% of all life to save resources for the other half, but this would be bad, so the Undefeatables ended up intervening.
- The Reality Stone (gained from being stabbed by Bellossom, but coming back via dubious methods)
- It allows use of the Aether (the edgy red one) and reality warping.
- It was hidden under the Sudbury Basin, an area of Soviet Canuckistan.
- The Soul Stone (gained from sacrificing Bellossom at a temple in Africa)
- It allows him to have easy flashbacks and communicate with the dead.
- It was hidden underneath Africa, though it ascended to him after Thanos threw Bellossom off a cliff.
- The Mind Stone (gained by pulling it out of Gallade's forehead)
- The Time Stone (Which was done by killing off the Space Marine Soldier)
- It allows him to generally do convoluted time-based shenanigans.
- Space Marine Soldier stole it from Shinzo Abe, but was in turn robbed by Thanos.
- The Space Stone (Which was done by stealing it from Pearl Krabs)
- It enables do not-as-convoluted space-based shenanigans.
- It was hidden underneath Manaus, the capital of North Brazil. It was found by Mr. Krabs's great^42 grandfather, and later transferred to Bikini Bottom - specifically, Pearl Krabs's house, in a particularly-strong vault capable of holding it (as the Tesseract).
- The Power Stone (stolen from the Norris dynasty)
- It bestows power to those who wield it.
- It was hidden underneath Europe - specifically, Hanover, Germany, UUK. Optimus Prime found it and stored it in a vault in the Ark, the Autobots' shuttle to Earth. It was stolen from the Norrises (specifically, the Deity Cat branch) in a climactic battle in London.
Maybe History...?
The Un!Infinity Gauntlet looks the same as it does in the MCU. There is no need to explain, contrary to popular opinion.
Thanos has at least three, possibly more, adopted children, those being Gamora, Nebula, and Iris from Pokémon. He wishes to kill the Zodiacal Trolls from Homestuck for some reason. This is one thing we have in common. He also sends death threats to Everybody on 4chan, and since Everybody is a lot of people, it'll include some powerful people. Due to this, the Deity Cats would get involved, and soon they would converge on the UnUK...
After that the infinity gauntlet was buried in a deep underground tome...at least, for the time being. We don't know who's gonna steal it next.
He hates Bowsette for unknown reasons; to the point that he would have called her "Tohru" (but that'd be an insult to the actual Tohru, and Thanos doesn't want to get cancelled again) and struck a deal with opposing god Strollin' Stu to destroy her. Wait Strollin Stu is a god and an opposing force? Nah...
Thanos never even stared into Hyper Weegee, ironically. Irony? You call this irony?! I don't know what irony truly is, but I know what it isn't, and it's THIS!
List of deaths, and how
- Garchomp (Choked, later torn in half) (don't you think that's a bit excessive?)
- Bumblebee (Burnt)
- Optimus Prime (Thrown, stabbed)
- Bellossom (Sacrificed)
- Gallade (Mind Stone removed)
- AkaRed (Frosted)
- Kirby (Thrown) (?)
- Princess Daisy (Electrocuted)
- Princess Peach (Electrocuted)
- Luigi (Pummeled)
- Mario (Pummeled)
- Yoshi (Blast Boxed)
- Princess Rosalina (Enslaved)
- This is Bob (Pummeled)
- Ness (Tortured)
- Bowsette (Tortured)
List of revivals (Chronologically)
- Pearl Krabs
- Randall Boggs
- Postman Pat
- Fireman Sam
- Vagineer
- Snowball
- Bruticus Maximus (This does include all Onslaught, Brawl, Swindle, Vortex, and Blast Off)
Thanos' Victory - Avengers-Thanos's Victory
Thanos's theme "Thanos's Victory".
Trivia
Will be edited soon -Vesta
- It is true that Thanos is the evil father of the kind-hearted human/skeleton Pokemon Trainer/Champion, Iris.
- Silhouette literally counterbalances both Thanos and Billy Mays combined, since Thanos is destruction and Billy Mays is creation. Silhouette is neutral.
- Thanos never accepted that he wasn't inevitable at all. He took pride in that he was "inevitable" when it's actually a lie.
- Thanos was said to be "immortal", but that's not true; the Infinity Stones were what kept him powerful.