UnAnything Wiki

What is UnAnything? UnAnything is a 2008-humor wiki that's been running for over a decade. Want to edit? Just read the guide. Be sure to also check out our Discord! Have fun!

READ MORE

UnAnything Wiki
Advertisement

Thannos, not to be mistaken his twin brother Thanos, is the adoptive father of Shane DeTorre. He has a devoted cult of personality.

Personality

Thannos is described as an intelligent and determined man. He saved Shane from the horrors of Stark's orphanage and raised her until his untimely demise. He is described as wanting to see the sun rise on a "grateful universe."

He's appeared in a few movies, not played by himself however.

Actors

Biography

Thannos, much like his brother, wanted to perfectly balance the universe to protect the people from the horrors overpopulation, but he was murdered by Tony Stark with the Unfinity Gauntlet (not the Infinity Gauntlet wielded by Thanos).

Some time ago, he adopted Shane DeTorre. Despite his death, he has developed a cult of personality obsessed with his goal. Some of his most devoted followers are Frank DeTorre and Bob DeTorre.

He has also become a significantly divisive figure. Some praise his goals and call them just, while others claim that they are the deluded ravings of a mad man. Regardless, he has become an iconic character, and is very popular in current pop culture. Some have called him the Darth Vader of the younger generation.

Background

Thannos is a close translation to God in the long lost language of the Thenosian people. They worshipped Thannos everyday by praying five times a day, giving charity, pilgrimaging to Titan, Saturn's Moon, eating as much as they can between sunrise and sunset, and declaring faith to Thannos with a blood sacrifice (one of whom was Drix, whose background is shown in the movie Osmosis Jones). The Thenosian people eventually were killed off by the Ironmanian people, which sparked Thannos and Thanos's mortal births.

Thannos was fueled by his hatred of Ironmanian people, who worshipped the God, Iron Man. These people were the most technologically advanced people of their time period. Thannos, as a baby was a mere 2 feet tall and 300 pounds. However, he quickly became his birth planet's leader (Titan) at around four years old. However, as he was building up power, the Ironmaninan people were amassing power as well by increasing their tech suits production and selectively breeding smarter citizens.

On the bright side, when Broccoli Obunga came to power, he forced the Ironmanians to switch their color from red to black under the name of 'diversity'. The Ironmanian's however could not bear the fact that they could not be the color of their god, so they all killed themselves, or so they thought. There was a small population (around 13) of the Ironmanians who were appalled by the thought of killing themselves, and continued to live on under the name of 'Humans'. These Humans eventually found the planet named Earth and settled there. As they still had the high technology from before, like the amazing sharpened stick and rounded stone. The Humans began to repopulate and became a thriving civilization.

Meanwhile, only 930 miles away on Titan, Thannos began to learn about the Unfinity Stones and the powers that came with them. He also used the Ironmanian Blood Tracker that was created along with his birth and noticed that the Ironmanians were still alive. Although his hatred was now more fueled than ever, he knew that he had to bide his time to become more powerful so as to assure his own victory. He had already killed most of the Dwarven people after gaining the Unfinity Gauntlet that allowed him to hold the Unfinity Stones.

Here, Thannos raided the Space Pokemon Gym to obtain the Sweat Stone.

Soon after, the Yuge Stone and Space Stones were in a ship nearby in possession of Thor Odinson. Thannos brought his large 22 inch 'sword' and battled Thor and Hulk. He easily overpowered both and nobody knows what happens in the moments to follow. After the ship scene finished, Thannos was in possession of the Yuge Stone which grants the user enough power to defeat six Hulks. He also gained the Space Stone which allowed him to teleport anywhere he wanted. Strangely, he somehow also obtained the Moan Stone, even though it was not on the ship at the start of the encounter. Before leaving, he snapped Loki's neck as the Ironmanian deputy, Superman, did to his father so long ago.

Next, Thannos went to Knowhere to get the Reality Stone from the Collector. The Guardians of the Galaxy attempted to stop him, but he easily defeated them and took the stone. He then teleported back to the Asgardian Ship.

At the Asgardian Ship, he used the Reality Stone to drain the magic from Loki's corpse. This, however, was only enough to create half of the Psychic Stone.

Next, he went to his home world, Titan, expecting Ebony Maw to present him with the Time Stone. However, he was greeted by Ebony Maw's head on a pike. Iron Man, Peter Parker, and Dr. Strange emerged from the ship to confront him. Thannos easily swatted them aside and took the Time Stone before leaving for Wakanda. Thannos left Iron Man alive so that he could torture him later. He also needed all seven stones to be able to escape the paradox that would be formed by killing Iron Man before he traveled back in time.

In Wakanda, Thannos used the Reality Stone to drain Wanda Maximoff of her powers to create the other half of the Psychic Stone.

Finally, after obtaining all 6 stones, Thannos was ready to take on the Humans. Thannos' murderous intent was radiating from his body which sparked the birth of Iron Man in 1969 (the Time Stone wanted to stop him from fulfilling his purpose). Iron Man was born as an immortal middle-aged man with superior intellect.

Thannos retired to life on Titan, hoping to find Iron Man where he left him, but he was brutally murdered by a vengeful Thor with his new axe, Stormbreaker.

Iron Man then traveled back in time to collect the Unfinity Stones because Thannos had destroyed them with his dying breath to prevent his work from being undone. However, Thannos followed Iron Man back to the present for one final confrontation.

The final battle took place on the plane Earth, where the Humans were. Thannos happened to go there when searching for the Humans (remaining Ironmanians) and encountered their god and savior, Iron Man. He quickly took the Unfinity Gauntlet from Iron Man before he could undo his work. The battle was a battle to be remembered. Iron Man shot his beams through his suit and Thannos would block them using the Infinity

Stones. Neither side could gain the upperhand. However, Thannos spouted the most insulting insult one could ever spout. He yelled: "YOU HAVE SMALL PP!" to Iron Man. Enraged, after 42.069 minutes, Iron Man landed an all out blow to Thannos' head with the Iron Shield. But, Thannos only had a trickle of blood going down his forehead and Thannos said "All that for a drop of blood? Pathetic." After this demoralization on Iron Man's side, Iron Man was quickly overpowered, but he was able to use trump card, nanotechnology, to expand a disc inside Thannos's ass.

However, Thannos's insides were as strong as steel, so the disk only caused some bowel movement. Without any thing left, Iron Man surrendered. Tony Stark (Iron Man) sat down on a log and sighed, staring out into the ungrateful world. When Thannos went to snap his fingers and snap Iron Man and his forces out of existence, Iron Man slammed down the Reverse Card and Thannos slowly turned to dust. As Thannos was dying time seemed to slow down as he sang his final song. It was known as the Thannos Town Road. Many have heard the parody of it, called Old Town Road. Iron Man was brought to tears by the lovely melody and soulful lyrics. But it was inevitable that Thannos died and Iron Man won in disgrace.

Status as an Undefeatable

Thannos originally held a seat on the Upper Council of Undefeatables, with the same position as his brother, Thanos.

Following his death at the hands of Thor, he became the first member of the Upper Council to be killed in recorded history. Many argued against giving Thor his seat, believing that Thannos was unworthy of it in the first place, and that he had only earned it off of his status as Thanos's brother.

The controversy only grew when Thannos escaped from the past and was defeated by Iron Man. Thannos's revival further brought into question Thor's status as an undefeatable, and his second death threw even more confusion into the situation. As he was defeated by Iron Man with the Reverse Card, it can be argued that Thannos defeated himself, leaving the position to neither Thor nor Iron Man.

Advertisement