- Not to be confused with P-Ranks.
T-tanks are the legendary Russian and Soviet Russian tanks built throughout all their history. The first one was built during the First Pickle War. They feature the most half modern technology which is why the Polski Traktor was able to defeat them in every war.
They served in every war since the First Pickle War including the War of 1812, The Fish War, World War I, World War II, Robotnik Wars, 1st Ducky War, The Tool War of 2005, Burger War, and World War III among everything else. Literally every country would use these except UnUSA, UnUK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South America, and some others. Selling tanks to other countries was one of the main ways Soviet Russia was able to make UnDollars.
Papa Stalin has your back!
The Nazi (the creeper with spear!) version is called Battlepass. These are much older than the Battlepass and were not replaced by a new disassociated series, so some of them are younger. T-tanks and Battlepass have often fought each other. In a 1v1 a Battlepass tank would win most times, but it was always a 5v1, so the Battlepass had to work really hard. It helped Battlepasses that T-tank crews were not adequately trained and had worse tech, even though they were made first.
Thomas the Tank is one of these Russian tanks.
This is a big list so grab some vodka and know that if you don't read everything, Papa Stalin made sure that this article is clean, not illegal, and safe for work, and will not get anyone to doubletake at your computer! T-tank numbers are there for a reason and it does not mean that any tank designs were failures, that is anti-revolutionary propaganda👍
T-1[]
Tsar tank is too big to be true.
First Russian tank ever. This is a tank with giant wheels and some guns on it. Basically, the idea behind it is that the wheels with a 15-foot radius would be able to roll over any obstacle under a mountain, such as trenches, rocks, and barbed wire. It was the biggest tank in size for a very long time until the ship sized tanks became a thing. It was super slow and barely possible to maintain it, so a few of these are still lying around UnWorld. In fact, people think these tanks were placed by aliens because the design is so out of this world, as in stupid.
Armor was a luxury. Only some had more than floppy sheet metals worth of armor.
T-4[]
It sure is T-4
A British medium tank design given to Russians to build. Has a bunch of machine guns. Has enough armor to stop bullets and the firepower to kill meat targets. It has the speed and length to cross trenches and the weight to destroy barbed wire. Problem is it was very slow and boring, so the fun loving gopniks had to bring vodka every ride, which led to friendly steamrolling and tank drifting.
T-5[]
Guns got removed so nobody kills anyone
A British heavy tank design given to Russians to build. Has 6 pounder cannons inside the sponsons. Its giant track sponsons are rhombus shaped because that helps in climbing over things and crossing trenches. It is slow but has no suspension, so it is not a smooth ride when on dodgy terrain, therefore the riders did not need any vodka.
T-17[]
Freaky oddball
A tank based on the French FT, it is the first normal and original tank made by Russians. It has a 37 mm gun mounted very oddly on the turret. It moves fast enough to be fun to drive, but the armor is not .50 caliber proof, so it can get easily shredded by anything more than a rifle. For example, this will die and asplode in less than 1 millisecond against M2HB, DShK, or MG131 machine guns.
T-24[]
Three different ammo? What could go wrong?
A heavy landship sausage tank, it has many turrets: One with a 3-inch short gun, another with a 1.45-inch gun, and one more with a .3-inch machine gun. These multi-turreted tanks turned out not too practical, and all the armies of the world figured out that such a concept would be immediately outdated by single-turret regular tanks and infantry tanks.
Speeding through Poland
T-27 (BT-7)[]
This is the fast tank using the fast suspension. It's a convertible tank which means that it can drive and steer without its tracks. It's super-fast and speeds like Peppino. It has a 45mm gun that is good enough especially since this tank can easily flank other tanks and boom them from the side.
T-30 (KV-1)[]
Beyond steel
This heavy tank and its family are made out of thick Stalinium and are impenetrable to most guns of its time. It got an L-11 76mm cannon that was short and very bad until it got upgraded with the ZiS-5 76mm cannon which was medium length and could kill a lot of rival tanks. This is the first experiment with Stalinium as tank armor and was a success, so a lot of neighboring nations wanted these things.
T-30A (KV-2)[]
Doubles as a house
Variant with a giant fridge for a turret that houses a huge 254mm howitzer. Basically, it is a bomber, but it's a tank. It can completely take down small houses and has the power to destroy tanks with the HE shell's shear donking and bonking. It would inspire the design of the superheavy Battlepass Mk 8. The destruction potential put fear into Russia's enemies, so the giant fridge quickly became recognizable across the world. Tsar Nicholas II did not want this tank being used against Russia, so this tank was not sold to anyone else. This would become a priority target on the battlefield once it was recognized.
T-30-152 (SU-152)[]
Russian boulder
This is a tank destroyer slash mobile artillery built on the KV chassis. It also has a giant 152mm howitzer like the previous variant, but the fridge was put long side so it could be shorter profile. This came with an APHE shell that could destroy any contemporary tank from very far away. Or it could be used like mobile or direct fire artillery and shell targets. This was also a scary tank for soldiers to look at, so it also became public enemy no. 1 on battlefields. The design was given more armor, and its frontal shape could only be penetrated by a few guns at the time.
T-30F (KV-VI)[]
How fast? Too fast.
This is a super long battleship tank completely made out of Stalinium. It was known that these things were impractical, but it would be cool to make one with all of this artillery. It has four main turret columns (from the rear): 1. A KV-1 turret, a BT-7 turret on top of the KV-1 turret, and a Katyusha on top of the BT-7 turret. 2. A KV-2 turret with two 152mm howitzers and a BT-7 turret on top. 3. A double barrel DShK turret. And 4. A KV-1 turret with a double barrel DShK turret on top. This tank is extremely heavy and has the capability to Koopabackdashwaveslide Hoverwalkmoonland to move at extreme speed. This tank was rare because it was expensive.
NT-3SU[]
Red Cheese
This is a Battlecheese the Russians obtained. N means nemesky which means German because this is a German assault gun. Russians found this to be reliable and useful for testing armor. It's 3 because the Battlecheese is the Battlepass Mk 3.
T-33[]
Care for the child
A small tank that was the precursor to the T-34. It is the baby T-34 made out of Stalinium, giving it armor value similar to the Battlepass Mk 1. It has the same gun as the BT-7, but the tank is more balanced towards armor effectiveness in a tiny package. This one is low profile like a tank destroyer, so that is good.
T-34[]
With L-11
This is the one with the invincible drivers hatch and the one that everyone talks about. It was the main medium tank of Russia since XX34. It's cheap and quite fast for medium tanks. It is the first thing ever to have angled armor (yes). Its Stalinium armor is angled so it can maintain its light weight while having thick armor. It was equipped with the same L-11 as the KV-1 until it was upgraded with the better F-34 76.2 mm gun and got a new hexagonal turret.
How long?
T-34-57[]
This one has a long barrel 57 mm gun meant for taking down tanks. It is actually very effective. One crew got 8 Battlebusters, 18 Battlecheeses, and 22 Battlebabies confirmed kills, so this tank got the nickname designation Exterminator, as in "tank exterminator" instead of "tank destroyer". Its armor is also better in the turret since it would be fighting tanks.
Steamroller
T-34S[]
This experimental tank is a T-34 made out of snow and ice and wood (called pykrete). It is the stealthiest while in the white snow and doesn't even look like a functioning tank. Its turret doesn't resemble any previous tank turret so that made it more confusing. In testing against enemy tanks, the enemy crews were confused because they saw this tank as a fancy snow sculpture instead of anything that could shoot. Only one was made and continues to exist in a random place in Russia that children have access to. Its turret design would inspire another T-34 variant.
T-4 Emcha[]
Infiltration
🥰🥰🥰
Before the most awesomest Russian tank that ever existed is revealed, the M4 Medium tanks given to Russia must be talked about.
This is an UnAmerican medium tank used all the time by the British, Pac-Landian, and Canadian armies, so it made sense to give a bunch to the Russians as well. The Russians called this tank the Emcha because the crews loved it so much. They loved it so much because it had a lot more room than the T-34 and was a way smoother ride. It even had a stabilizer for the gun. It was higher profile than the T-34s and was skinnier, so it had higher chance of tipping over sideways on difficult terrain. Most Emchas had the long 76mm guns which could kill most tanks. This tank was more safe from catastrophic explosion than any T-34, but it had a higher chance of lighting on fire when it got hit.
Conclusion: the best tanks end in "4".
T-34-85[]
Gopnik bus
❤️❤️❤️
The best Russian tank ever, this tank has too many aspects that are EPIC WIN. It is the perfect medium between the anti-infantry capabilities of the T-34-76s and the anti-tank capabilities of the T-34-57. The 85mm cannon can fly straight through the front of the Battlecat and explode it, just like the Emcha 76 but a little more reliable. It has a new very sexy round turret inspired by the snowy T-34S. This has the best armored turret out of the T-34 family. It has increased armor in the hull, making it even more impenetrable than any previous T-34. It has a new engine that allows it to go 85 mph at maximum speed, the fastest out of the T-34 family. It is still super cramped, though. The conversion of previous T-34s to T-34-85s was nice and simple, so there are a lot of them which could overwhelm all enemies and be sold to all the friends. It's a good and comfy tank when needing to Race to Berlin.
More gopnik
T-34-85SU (SU-85)[]
This is the tank destroyer version of the T-34-85. And it's pretty cool, it is just like the Battlewedge but this one is not famous for some reason. It has even more armor than the T-34-85 since it is just a big, angled plate of Stalinium and there is no turret to worry about. This is the most reliable casemate tank destroyer the Russians have.
T-1 Iosif Stalin (IS-1)[]
T-34-85 big edition
Stalinium Supreme
A heavy tank to replace the KVs. It actually started as KV project to put an 85mm cannon on a KV chassis, but a new armor profile for a chassis was made so no KV-85 for anyone. The tank named after Stalin would have an 85mm cannon and be heavily armored, basically a T-34-85 with bigger everything. Since this is the Stalin series, it needed to be fully made of Stalinium (like every other tank). The tank is impenetrable to a whole lot of things, for example half of the Battlepasses. This tank has a better engine than the KV, so it is actually a little bit faster.
T-1-152 Iosif Stalin (ISU-152)[]
It has the same gun as the SU-152, but this one is on the Iosif Stalin chassis and has a completely different casemate design that improved the armor profile, so this is the better version.
T-2 Iosif Stalin (IS-2)[]
Stalinium Extreme
This is the tank with the powerful 122mm cannon. The IS-1 turret had plenty of room inside to put a huge caliber cannon in. It was decided that the men inside the IS-1 had it too good with all that space, so it was decided that this tank needed to have an artillery piece take up more space inside the turret. The barrel was about 75% of the chassis length, so that meant very high velocity and very high damage against tanks. This could kill every Battlepass under The Battlepass, but this tank is more infantry tank than tank fighter because of the very long reload of the 122mm gun. The tank is very good at blowing up infantry.
Foreign Use[]
Battlepass[]
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Battlepass 400(r)
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Battlepass 400C(r). This one has a Battlecheese gun
Germans captured these tanks when they could because they were nice to have.
T-30 (KV-1) (ZiS-5)[]
The Battlepass code for this tank is Battlepass 400(r). The 400 means that this tank shared the same role as the Battlepass Mk 4 Battlecat. This was a heavy tank and the Battlecat was a heavy tank so that makes sense.
A modified version called KW-1 has the Battlepass code Battlepass 400C(r). The C means that it has the same weapon as the Battlepass Mk 3 Battlecheese. The Germans figured that their 75mm gun was better than the Russians' shorter 76mm ZiS-5 gun and this was better logistically.
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Battlepass 134(r)
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Battlepass 484(r)
T-34 (F-34)[]
The Battlepass code for this tank is Battlepass 134(r). The 100 means that this tank was given the same role as the Battlepass Mk 1 Battlebaby, so this T-34 was given to some children to learn how to use.
T-34-85[]
The Battlepass code for this tank is Battlepass 484(r). Even though the T-34-85 was not a heavy tank, it had similar firepower to the Battlecat, so it was given that role. Crews would rather drive a Battlecat due to space issues, but the speed was fun and cool and stuff.
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Battlepass 537(r)
T-34-85SU (SU-85)[]
The Battlepass code for this is Battlepass 537(r). The 500 means that this tank has the same role as the Battlepass Mk 5 Battlewedge. Both are tank destroyers; this one is medium while the Battlewedge is light, so these were good finds.
Finland[]
Everything in one image!
Finland used these Russian tanks against the Russians in a winter war. Fins also used their own Battlecheese made of concrete against the Russians.
- T-30
- T-33
- T-34
- T-34-85
T-729 (BT-42)[]
Light derp gun? A few countries made some.
This is a fridge put on top of the chassis of a BT-7. The numbers come from squaring the numbers of the Russian designation (don't fact check that). Now this tank is a national pride of the perkele nation even though it was a failure. This is still a legendary tank even though it didn't put up the numbers it should have. They needed artillery to keep up with their skiing soldiers, so they put a 114mm gun on the Russian fast tank. It wasn't really good enough to kill heavy tanks, but these things are an inspiration to everyone about the epic things you could still do even when you are at a disadvantage.
Poland[]
Poland bought some T-34-85s and SU-85s and were given some ISU-152s when the Russians took ownership.
Gallery[]
