Squidward On Strike

Part of the opening cutscene

Squidward on Strike (AKA Squid on Strike or SoS) is a very dark, edgy, and whimsically violent Shame based off of the history of Gainax. It is published and developed by Bowser and his minions, or Nintendo.

Shameplay

The game is a first person shooter where player takes control of Squidward Tentacles. The initial goal is to lead an uprising at the Krusty Krab and assassinate Mr. Krabs. The player can fight with following weapons:

• Tentacles
• Krabby Patty
• Onion Knife
• Baseball Bat
• Pistol
• Shotgun
• Flare Gun
• Party Fouler
• Micro Uzi
• AK-74
• M4
• Pixi Stick
• Sniper Rifleh
• Michael Jackson's Hat-a Rang
• Grenade
• Molotov Cocktail
• Piranha Cannon
• Bubble Bass Stomach Acid
• Soviet Whip
• RPG
• Nuclear Fallout Jar
• Pitchfork
• Splattershot

During shameplay, Squidward shoots at Angels, evil creatures that have turned a once happy coral reef into a trippy televised acid sequence. When Angels are killed, they drop Krabby Dollars, and for bosses, Doodles. Doodles are used to unlock levels and worlds, and they can be found by different means, such as turning into a real squid and climbing up walls, killing bosses, completing chores for other fish, and beating Spongebob in Mario Kart 9. People have no idea why Squidward would eat Spongebob's underwear, but rumor has it that it heals you, and eating Holy Underwear allows Squidward to turn Super Saiyan. There is only one piece of it in otherwise impossible levels, such as Air Man's Stage, and without it, you cannot beat the levels and take Doodles. Krabby Dollars are used to purchase weapons and pay for pointless DLC, such as the Chocolate Rage pack, which is nothing but free chocolate. Only Gary knows that chocolate is disgusting AND bad for you. Collecting 100 Krabby Dollars will make you respawn faster and in better locations if you die, but you should have no problem killing Angels, right? Too bad, because this trick only works if your amount of Krabby Dollars is a multiple of 100. You can also get the help of Gary and Rock, the pets of Spongebob and Patrick by abusing them and teaching them how to fight hookers with cars and balloons. Leveling them up enough will allow them to sniff out Krabby Dollars and hidden Doodles, and collecting the Cyan Orb and Brown Orb will allow them to Primal Revert into Primal Gary and Primal Rock. Gary uses a move called Mad Snail Disease, where he bites opponent for big damage and can inflict poison. Rock, on the other hand, uses Lee Kick, which ignores enemy shields, but it's weaker than Mad Snail Disease. Primal Reversion makes Gary and Rock much stronger, practically gods, but how? The Cyan Orb and Brown Orb turn Gary and Rock inside out, but don't ask any stupid questions or they will stab you in your sleep. The Japanese names for their moves are far worse, being Snabies for Mad Snail Disease and Rock Crusher for Lee Kick. Occasionally, Larry the Lobster will teach the player how to use their weapons only to strip down and give exposition as to what the hell is happening, much to Squidward's dismay. Certain weapons deal more damage against specific enemies, exploit their weaknesses, or do both, and the controls are: Left Control Stick moves Squiddy, Right Control Stick rotates the camera, B is jump, Right Trigger (or ZR, for you info tastic freaks) is shoot, Left Trigger (ZL) is to zoom in, X is the weapon menu, + pauses the game and brings up a better, more specific menu that allows you to alter the weapons menu and stuff, and Y is reload. This Shame is only on Wii U because the other Shaming consoles have lost the console war. You can only use the Wii U Gamepad or Wii Pro Controller to play this shame because this shame was made by Bowser, the main man of Nintendo.

hell mode

Gary

Gary is a Water/Poison type Kritter lurking in Bikini Bottom that can help Squidward. Its abilities are Poison Point and Storm Drain. Poison Point makes Gary poison enemies that touch him, while Storm Drain draws in bubbles within a set area to make Gary stronger. His Hidden Ability, Strong Jaw, makes him bite 1.5x harder. Its Attack and Speed are high, but everything else sucks. Defense is just average, but a low HP, Special Attack, and Special Defense are all weaknesses magical girls can abuse. Wait, there are Angels that are also Magical Girls? Primal Reversion raises all stats except Special Attack, and its ability changes to Intoxicate. Intoxicate takes Generic type moves, converts them into Poison type moves, and makes them 30% stronger. A great example is his signature move, Mad Snail Disease. Mad Snail Disease is a base 120 power Generic type move that has a 30% chance of poisoning enemies, but with Primal Reversion, it is essentially a base 155 power Poison type move. All moves Kritters can learn have base powers that are multiples of 5, and there's only 2 of them. To compensate for this, Gary and Rock can learn every non-gimmicky attack in the Pokémon shames. Besides its signature, Gary can learn moves such as Shell Smash, Ice Fang, Waterfall, Sucker Punch, Crunch, Rapid Spin, Poison Jab, Aqua Jet, and more. Mad Snail Disease is a biting move, and in spite of Primal Reversion, you can get Gary's Hidden Ability before his item, the Cyan Orb. To get a Gary with Strong Jaw, you have to beat up Salty Spitoon's president, a shark. Salty Spitoon is a fight club, so you probably know which type of shark the president is. Gary excels against Angels following the glass cannon archetype because of his excellent boosting move in Shell Smash and strong priority moves. He can also easily terrorize slower Angels because Shell Smash sharply raises offenses and Speed at the cost of defenses. So was Gary intended to be in Pokémon, another one of Nintendo's many shames? This Kritter is owned by Spongebob, and to get it, you must eat 50 pieces of underwear scattered throughout the many worlds. They're alot like Doodles, but optional. You get them in similar ways as well, so think about what one action could yield you. But because its underwear we're talking about, you don't need to put in as much effort to get it as you do Doodles. You can trade Krabby Bucks to Doodlebob, a character in the hubworld, to obtain underwear. To obtain a Cyan Orb, defeat the 4th Magical Girl Angel without taking damage.

Squidward pays a visit to Dimension 666. Notice he has only 2 legs instead of 4 now.

Rock

Rock is a Rock/Fighting type Kritter with high HP, Attack, and Defense, but everything else is lackluster. Again, this leaves Rock vulnerable against Magical Girl Angels, which are Fairies. Gary learns many Poison type moves and gets STAB on them for easy victories against Fairies, which are all courtesy of his stats. Rock however, is easily anihilated by them thanks to horrible Speed, Special Defense, and his Fighting type. STAB is just a multiplier that makes moves that share the user's type stronger, but most people that play this Shame will take STAB the wrong way. Rock's abilities are Sturdy and Solid Rock. Sturdy prevents Rock from being instantly killed, while Solid Rock makes him take less damage from super effective attacks. Magical Girl Angels have moves that can easily take out Gary and Rock (Examples for Gary are Thunderbolt and Psychic, while Rock has to take Energy Balls and Moonblasts.) They are both weak against Psychic type moves, but the point remains. Do not use Rock against Magical Girl Angels, use Gary! Primal Reversion raises all of Rock's stats except HP, Special Attack, and Speed, while Special Defense getting the biggest boost. Primal Reversion does not raise HP for any of the 2 Kritters because of hardware limitations. Rock's Hidden Ability is Analytic, which makes it stronger if it attacks after an enemy. Rock excels against the enemies Gary crumbles to, and examples of these include Ninja Angels and Normal Angels. This is because they can't really hit Rock for alot of damage compared to Gary, so when one Kritter is not good in a certain situation, use the other one. Primal Reversion convert's Rock's ability into Gaiea Stone, which makes Rock immune to super effective attacks. And with the big Special Defense boost, have fun killing Angels in this Shame! Lee Kick is a powerful Fighting move that ignores shields and armor. Its Base Power is 100, so use it if Close Combat ain't your fancy shmancy. Like its Generic type counterpart, Mad Snail Disease, it is physical. This Kritter is owned by Patrick, a living lazy butt monkey. To unlock it, sit in Patrick's house and do nothing for 5 minutes. You can't even pause the game or reset it, otherwise, you have to try and unlock it again. Patrick is patient, so you get unlimited tries to obtain Rock. Sandy can teach certain moves to certain Kritters, such as Dragon Pulse, Superpower, the Elemental Punches, Knock Off, Endeavor, and more. But you must have Krabby Bucks, or else she cannot teach the moves. To obtain the Analytic ability, you must blow bubbles in the Rusty Anchors Club without getting caught. Abilities can be switched during gameplay using the D-pad, so choose wisely. Primal Reversion can occur at any time by inputting the Konami Code. You must use the D-pad for this. For natural Primal Reversion, have your Kritter hold its Orb and activate it by pressing left and right simultaneously on the D-pad. Sounds like something from Mario Kart 64, right? To obtain a Brown Orb, defeat 100 Gates of Heaven using the Pitchfork.

Enemies

The enemies in this game are Angels, evil chicken lizard hybrids hellbent on destroying all cartoon characters and shames. The Magical Girl Angels are like a miniboss squad, being the elite versions of normal Angels And are of course, bigger, faster, and stronger too! They are Mr. Krabs' guardians after Squidward and Spongebob got fired, and the leader is EVA Braun, or Eva. They command enemies such as Normal Angels, which attack with headbutts. Ninja Angels are stealthy enemies that turn invisible and use katanas and shurikens to try and assasinate Squidward, Big Angels use Body Slams to crush Squidward and paralyze him like in the Jellyfishing episode, Jellyfish angels attack with paralyzing electricity, and Sniper Angels snipe Squidward from afar using energy bows. There are also Pirate Angels that try and steal your Krabby Dollars to enhance their swords, but if a Ninja Angel is near, they will fight each other instead of Squidward. The Heavenly Gates is a device that summons random Angels at will, so destroy it before it makes a bunch of Angels, otherwise, GAME OVER PRESS R TO TRY AGAIN. Once you've slayed a bunch of Angels, Squidward will be able to use a supermove that, depending on the weapon, will have different awesome effects. You may also use Kritters against the Angels, each with their own effectiveness, but so far, we will only have 2 of them until the Kritters Kritters and More Kritters Pack comes out for $6.66. Satanic Kritters confirmed?

Story

In the Krusty Krab, Spongebob is making Krabby Patties, as usual. But Squidward had different intentions on being a cashier, revealing that the Krabby Patty Secret Formula is imitation crab meat. Because that's fish, Mr. Krabs fires Squidward, so Squidward goes on a violent strike to get his job back. But before he can do so, he must modify the Krabby Patties to not be made up of seafood and kill Angels, evil chicken lizard hybrids. After Squidward kills the Angels and collects their junk, Mr. Krabs is revealed to be an Angel, causing Bikini Bottom to become a psychotic wasteland of mentally disturbed teenage prehistoric fish nobody seems to care about. But that Mr. Krabs was revealed to be a fake, so Squidward combines all his weapons to blast the Angels out of the sea and restore order. After order was seemingly restored, the real Mr. Krabs interrogates Plankton using a jar of cologne, but this only turns Plankton into an Angel that kills Mr. Krabs, so Squidward, Spongebob, and Patrick use Mr. Krabs' vault to steal Squidward's weapons and unleash a laser that misses Plankton and kills Patchy The Pirate. After Patchy is killed, a Space Dolphin descends and takes down the Angel with the help of Gary and Rock, which Primal Revert into Primal Gary and Primal Rock by turning themselves inside out. But all of a sudden, Mr. Krabs is revived. Mr. Krabs snaps after sensing his empty vault, but the evil fake Krabs oozes out Patrick's ass and kills Real Krabs. Squidward is curious about what would happen if he kills Spongebob, so he uses the Splattershot to splat Spongebob into Over 9000 pieces and reveal he is an angel. Squidward then leaves off, and Fake Krabs tells Patrick that if he wants to revive Spongebob, he will have to gather all his pieces, which are located in numerous WcDonald's Fine Dinings throughout the universe. A drill pierces the heavens, and Squidward never gets to pull off a strike. This is probably a bad ending, but this is the only ending of the game we'll get because the good ending was erased from the game's files.

After the Shame

Bowser, the creator of this game, quit Nintendo and moved to SEGA after this shame drained all his money and paper. Dry Bones and Iggy Koopa were also creators of this game, and guess where they were while they came up with this game? They were drunk at the Local Koopa Spa. They created other shames such as Sanic Hegehog, Legend of Link, Jump n' Shoot Man, and the Nintendo Gayboy Advance, and those failed and ended with completely out of whack endings on par with a shame on N64 called Avengeleon. After Bowser amd his goons moved to SEGA, they became notorious for their shame called "Combat Stripper: 50 Shades of Red" after alleged copyright infringments were applied, but those were all proven false. Combat Stripper was highly reminescent of this and a Nintendo Shaming Device called the Virtua Girl, which made you see nothing but red and had games with headache inducing characters like Toad and Squadala Guy because it did all of that. 50 Shades of Red gained all sorts of unecessary attention from forums and DeviantArt, flooding comments on YouTube with "Get naked!" and "You will Die!" as well as garnering acclaim from IGN, NeoGaf, Kotaku, and other Shame reviewers and Asian Cartoon watchers. Asian cartoons are different from American cartoons like SoS, so the ending of Squidward on Strike was so bad, Bowser and his minions changed the style of their next shame from American to Asian. People were driven by Bowser's new game to do what was in it, so this only proves that Bowser is the evilest dude in the whole wide world, and he finally killed Mario after all the fights were over, even though Mario had every reason to kill him because Luigi, Yoshi, Peach, and other guys he liked had died in the fights. Baby Yoshi got fed up and ate everything, and... there you have it. SoS indirectly lead to the apocalypse.

Reception

This game did very poorly because nobody could figure out how to get the game started. You have to enter a 45 digit password that includes capital letters, lowercase letters, numbers, and symbols. They all look very similar too. Biased Ratings still gave this shame a 7.8/10 for too many weapons. 

However, Plankton has made software to crack the password making the Shame playable. It's a very simple game. Just kill every one in bikini bottom and get achievements along the way. There are over 19,000 achievements so we can't tell you all. This game was praised for its innovation in shooting, being hailed as "The One Shooter to Shoot 'em All" by NeoGaf and "Pokémon x Mr. T on Strike x Spongebob x COD" by other Shame reviewers, but the plot and art style was heavily criticized for ripping off the shame Mr. T on Strike instead of using standard Spongebob plots and art. This could also be why IGN gave the game a 7.8/10, but they always do that because of Biased Ratings, corrupt digital hardware that controls us to play certain Shames.