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UnAnything Wiki
Sacred.png The Administrator by the name of GNE has deemed this page sacred.

This page shall not be disrespected. Although they can't stop you, their disappointment will be.. very, VERY significant.

Their official logo

Across every continent in the world, there are many college buildings with the name Squidward Community College.

All classes in all buildings are taught by either Squidward Tentacles himself or some other assigned faculty member of prestige. Offering courses in many different fields, this community college still stands at the number one spot across the nation, since all present, past and future alumni have proven to be quite brilliant. It is general consensus that this is the finest place to learn, despite its tuition fees being quite expensive for common folk, at about 400,000 dollars every 12 seconds.

Applying to Squidward Community College also requires a 4.0 gpa, twelve months of experience in at least twenty different fields, a little childhood trauma, a flawless curriculum and/or portfolio, proficiency in two or more foreign languages, no criminal record, 3 months of outstanding voluntary work, complete potty training, circus attendance, five days of community service, and most importantly of all: complete an application form and an essay detailing your utmost admiration and respect towards Professor Squidward.

History

Before becoming a college, it was home to Sir Skidlord Tentakill The First ( also known as "The Pretentious"), who used to tutor villagers of Bikineth Bottometh during his spare time. He was one of the greatest underwater kings (and also musicians) to have ever lived above and underwater, before he went mad and threatened to wage war against the surface. It was then founded centuries later in 1993 by Professor Squidward Tentacles; one of Sir Skidlord's direct descendants. After he noticed people had no talent, he then decided to teach others talent so that simpletons could be no more. Despite having no experience in teaching nor being an empathetic person, Mr. Squidward remained ambitious, hopeful, and maybe a little bit bored. Eventually, all pieces fell into place and a set of keys suddenly unlocked a path for mankind to triumph. Kaptain Skurvy, the first ever non-attaché alumni to be accepted, would prove to the UnWorld that this college was no joke.

Twenty plus years later this college is still going as strong as ever. Unfortunately for us, FANDOM would bury the real wiki under the sea, due to lawsuits made by Mr. Squidward himself, but it will forever live in our hearts, and in this page.

Nowadays, Mr. Squidward dedicates his life to teaching, playing the clarinet, groaning in exasperation, and putting up with his idiotic friends on the daily.

Courses

  • Acting 101
  • Art
  • Aquatic Architecture
  • Applied Economics: Cash Register Application Programme (CRAP)
  • Applied Economics: Tax Evasion
  • Barbed Q storing
  • Barbed Wire Storing
  • Basic Science (BS)
  • Bass Slapping
  • Beating the shit out of people
  • Bold
  • Bomb Defusal
  • Boredom Assessment*
  • Chemistry
  • Chewing With Your Mouth Closed (CWYMC)
  • Clarinet Lessons
  • Clobbering
  • Clownery
  • Contemporary Crayon Gastronomy
  • Contemporary Social Issues
  • Criticising
  • Cryptozoology
  • Cuddling
  • Digital Animation
  • Digital Intimidation
  • Dramatic Sword Fighting*
  • Drawing
  • Dope Capitalism: Creation, Bypass and Distribution
  • E-conomy: Doge Coin Investment
  • Electronics
  • Engineering
  • Finger Snapping
  • Firearm Arts
  • Garbage Analysis*
  • Goo Applications
  • Gossip
  • Geography
  • Handsomeness
  • History of Bikini Bottom
  • Interweb Studies
  • Interior Design
  • Interior Redesign
  • Interior ReReDesign
  • Illustration
  • International Oceanic Relations
  • Jar Opening
  • Kelp Cuisine
  • Knife Throwing*
  • Literature
  • Magic
  • Meme Studies and Applications
  • Monopoly
  • Music Education
  • Music Ensembles
  • Music History and Literature
  • Music Pedagogy
  • Music Theory
  • Nuclear Physics
  • On Key Singing
  • Pig Latin
  • Ragtime Appreciation
  • Sarcasm
  • Sculpting
  • Squidward Art
  • Squid History
  • Sponge Anatomy
  • Systemic Semantics of Software Segmentation Systems (SSSSS)
  • Snakes
  • Suspicious Parcel Delivery
  • Teatime Etiquette
  • The Art of Blinking
  • Treasure Hunting
  • Twenty First Century Self Awareness
  • Understanding and Analysis of the Meme Revolution
  • Underground Crustacean Civilizations
  • Vaping
  • Witchcraft
  • Wumbology
  • etc...

* course available only during the Summer.

Notable Alumni

  • Sir Skidlord Tentakill The First
  • Skvidwurd Tantekali
  • Squidbert Tentakli III
  • Squidward Tentacles
  • Octopus Vulgaris
  • Egbert
  • Kaptain Skurvy (first one to not be of the Tentacles bloodline)
  • Bob Ross
  • Leonardo DiCaprio
  • Leonardo da Vinci
  • Donatello (sculptor)
  • Donatello (ninja)
  • Nutella
  • Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116
  • Braixen (Got a Masters in Magic and Witchcraft)
  • Sonic
  • H
  • a bag of chips (NY times best selling author 1999, 2000, 2007, 2012, 2014, 2020)
  • Ayden McNapkin (celebrity chef)
  • Gordon Ramsey (celebrity chef)
  • Morgan Freeman (celebrity VA)
  • Gordon Freeman (in the flesh)
  • Morgan Ramsey (...)
  • G-Man (sinister and sometimes dexterous interdimensional bureaucrat)
  • Remy (celebrity chef)
  • The Gronch (Christmas lover, unlike his brother the Grinch)
  • Mike Aruba
  • canadian man (he's FRICKING CANADIAN)
  • Spinglebobbenheimer Squorpantenheimer (German)
  • Albert Einstein
  • a can of sprite
  • Sandy Cheeks
  • Lisa Simpson
  • Lady Gaga
  • Ronald McDonald
  • Sheldon Dinkleberg
  • Shaggy Rogers
  • Satoru Iwata
  • Shigeru Miyamoto
  • Papyrus
  • Lighting McQueen
  • Squid Sisters
  • Bela Lugosi
  • John Cena (Was absent most the time)
  • Hatsune Miku (singer, songwriter)
  • Alan Resnick (filmmaker, comedian)
  • Mr. Julius Pringles (CEO)
  • a bee
  • Tony Hawk (pro skater 2)
  • Benjamin Franklin Gates (historian, cryptologist, and treasure hunter)
  • Daria
  • Dr. Who
  • Norbert Moses
  • MountWaluigi
  • some president
  • X Æ A-12 Musk
  • Plato
  • Postman Pat
  • Aradia Megido
  • Awesome Guy
  • Shakira (singer, songwriter)
  • Picasso (painter)
  • Pikachu (chosen one)
  • Aang (chosen one)
  • Galileo Galilei
  • L (detective)
  • Elmo
  • Perry The Platypus
  • Keanu Reeves (that guy)
  • Steven The Seagull (model, internet sensation, influencer)
  • Donkeh
  • Jugemu Jugemu Goko no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Ku Neru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro Yabura Koji no Bura Koji Paipo-paipo Paipo no Shuringan Shuringan no Gurindai Gurindai no Ponpokopi no Ponpokona no Chokyumei no Chosuke
  • Monika (honorary student, club president)
  • Crona
  • Shaggy Rogers
  • Harry Potter (prodigy musician)
  • Unidentified Lubby
  • etc...

Trivia

  • They were planning on having an Underwater Basket Weaving Course™, however it never worked out.
  • The Yodeling Course, who had been a recent addition, also suffered the same fate, after several art student's glass pieces kept getting shattered on a daily basis.
  • The University's motto is Ars Longa, Vita Brevis ("Skillfulness takes time and life is short").
  • "Sweet Victory" is the University's official anthem.
  • Alumni risk getting kicked out if they are able to draw perfect circles.
  • Undergarments made out of sugar paste are strictly prohibited.
  • Extreme Ironing is one of the colleges most popular extracurricular activities.
  • Despite being a café, the cafeteria has no sofas to avoid toenail incidents.
  • A group of undead and nocturnal alumni have been reported skipping their Zoom evening classes in order to play Minecraft.
  • Fifty dungeons reside beneath the College grounds but no one has been able to find the keys yet.
  • Some Summer courses include Garbage Analysis, Dramatic Sword Fighting and Boredom Assessment.

Controversies and Conspiracies

  • SCC has had several public beefs with one of its business associates, Michael Rodent, who once simply stated that "Mr. Squidward and I have always had creative differences. However, I am a businessman and a visionary, not a mere frustrated artist". Mr. Rodent then proceeded to ignore several other questions regarding the copyright infringement claims made against his company, nor did he comment on the protests being held by his own employees at the time.
  • On March 28, 2018 Dabbing was quietly removed from the university's programme. Since then, all students caught trying to learn, teach or mimic "the dab" will be suspended. The reason as to why this happened remains a mystery to this day.
  • The Literature Club has been temporarily suspended for unknown reasons (as of September 22, 2017).
  • Private emails exchanged between Mr. Squidward and one Spongebob Squarepants have recently been leaked. Twitter and Youtube have already started speculating.
  • SCC of Hawaii is currently busy organizing a business party for Mr. Squidward and co.
  • A image of Squidward shaking the hand of a Swagger that has yet to be identified, was leaked by a Russian Teletubby who was then expelled. This has also caused speculation.
    • Leaked photo of said business party has been confirmed by cyber authorities to be real. Several photos were in fact found on at least a dozen google drives on various classroom computers. Many of them revealed Mr. Squidward laughing along with one Michael Rodent, shaking hands with Lord Swagger the 10th - his most recent business partner, who is currently under investigation for the death of his brother; and drinking tequila with Eugene H. Krabs, a local restaurant owner who provided catering services to the event.
    • A foreign teletubby and former alumnus of Squidward Community College responsible for the "leaked images" was found dead in a ditch. The body was found near a run down apartment in Hawaii, close to the SCC, and they were likely skinned alive.
    • Mr. Squidward and his business associates were initially the prime suspects, based on photo evidence, an were taken into custody for literally a day until the UnPolice decided to let them go out of the blue. While some of the "evidence" has been later proven to be fake, some criminologists are still under the impression that Mr. Squidward and co are hiding something and may have been involved in the murder.
  • SCC had to temporarily shut down on August 27th. Contractors were this morning replacing the Squidward Tentacles statue with a new one - like they usually do every 5 months of so, when they realized that the soil underneath and around the statue was infested with rainbow flowers buds. Mario is in on the case and will soon take care of the situation.
  • Students have reported seeing strange figures lurking outside the campus grounds during the afternoon. Security says that these are (allegedly) Dementors passing by and that no one should be at risk, since college already sucks the life out of you anyway.
  • A student went missing a few days ago but has turned up sound and safe. College staff found him stuffed inside a vending machine eating all the skittles. Students were enraged.
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