Squadala Land: The Happiest Place... Within Five Feet!
—Official (and truthful) motto.

part of squadala land
Squadala Land is a ring of fire that is in the Squadala Empire. Just kidding. It's actually an amusement park! With over 300 400 500 OVER 9000 rides! IT EVEN HAS A ROLLER COASTER! WE'RE GOING TO SQUADALA LAND!
In actuality, Squadala Land is a Squadala Lab, just disguised as an amusement park so nobody would scream and run. The Ferris Wheel is actually a very large turbine that powers the entire park/lab. The rest of the park is hooked up with lab-stuff, but disguised as not-lab stuff. It is in fact an island in a huge lake, kinda like Thorpe Park, but fully surrounded, unlike Thorpe. There are a few bridges leading to the park, but they are only to be used by service people. This means U gotta take a ferry to the park, which makes things inconvinient.
Squadala Man used Squadala Land to make new weapons. Morshu sometimes comes here for new bomb technology (a new meaning to the expression "blows up in your face").
Later, Weegee forces infiltrated the Squadala Land staff, causing a dramatic upswipe in Weegee Virus infections, going from 0.1 a year to 7 per year.
This amusement park pays for itself, because if you are an idiot you go here. It is hard to enter, because THERE IS A HUGE CAR PARK WITH 99999999999999999 SPACES, AND THEN YOU TAKE A BUS TO A HELIPAD UP A HILL, THEN GO UP SOME ESCALATORS, THEN GET IN THE Helicopter, AND FLY TO A FERRY PORT, THEN TAKE A FERRY TO THE PARK. This means it's in a lake, like Thorpe Park, but bigger and fully surrounded by water. Even thought there are a few bridges leading to the park, they are only used by service guys. Oh, and i forgot to mention, it has a so fast-pass system, which is just a lane to get to the front of the line on each queue.
It's so big, that it makes Energylandia and Magic mountain look like kiddie parks in comparison. In fact, this place might expand so much that it will be bigger than the whole Squadala Empire by 2100.
Noteable rides of this place[]
- Squadala man coaster - A launch roller coaster with the face of Squadala Man on the front of it that goes so fast you will Asplode, even though it is not the UnWorld's fastest roller coaster. It is as fast as Stealth at Thorpe Park.
- Squadala Coaster - Not to be confused with the previous coaster, but it is the oldest coaster at the park, and it was the first coaster in the Squadala Empire, opening in 1897.
- Terra Guillelmi coaster - A roller coaster themed to Terra Guillelmi obviously. It uses the Oblivion soundtrack for some reason, and Nobody knows why. If the Lord of Darkness went on this thing, he will just be asking ''Why is the oblivion soundtrack playing?''
- Squadala wheel - A Ferris wheel with the face of Squadala Man on it, which powers the whole park
- Hell coaster - a roller coaster that goes to Hell and back
- Tubby custard flume - a log flume with Tubby Custard instead of Water
- Squadala drop - a drop tower that is very very very tall. It is as tall as the Eiffel Tower.
- Squadala Carpet - a Magic carpet ride with a statue of Squadala Man on it. When the ride starts, it says 'Squadala, We're off!', and has at least 48 Seats on it.
- Teletubbies Windmill Ride - A KMG Tango ride that is themed to the Teletubbies's Windmill of course.
- OVER 9000 coaster - Just a roller coaster called the 'over 9000 coaster', and it is the UnWorld's tallest roller coaster at 9001 meters high, and it was unbuilt over the Coronavirus pandemic. It is so tall; you can even see it from Lego City.
- Even though it was built from 1990 to 1995, it didn't open until 2014. It's unknown why it was standing but not operating for so long (SBNO), but one possible theory was that it was plagued with issues that delayed it's opening by many years. It is painted blue and orange, so it is stylised around DBZ. It doesn't have any theming, but it is very very tall. It's kinda like "The Big One" at Blackpool Pleasure Beach, or "Magnum XL200" at Cedar Point, but way taller. It was originally red when it was built, but in 2012, it was repainted blue and orange.
- Around 2013, rumours circulated that it will open, and it's height might have something to do with it's name; when the ride's name was unveiled in late 2013, the height did have something to do with the name, and it was called the OVER 9000 coaster.
- In 2015, XT8's parents fell off this thing and died, and he was devastated, until Wa'nt Tinky Winky respawned them.
- A couple guys, Chuck Norris, Vegeta, and Bob Saget took the first ride on it. Here is an interesting fact: The lift hill is so tall, it uses LSMs to go up the hill, and the launch only takes 5 minutes. The ride has 15 trains, and 5 of them load up at a time. The queueline splits in 5, to go to the 5 trains that load at a time, and each one has lockers to store loose articles.
- It has 12 inversions, two less than "The Smiler" at ALTON TOWERS. It has an insanely long queue line, and there is an express lane (which is just a long conveyor belt, because Squadala land has no FastPass system, but they pretend to have one, which they call 'So fast pass').
- In 2022, DigitalDan pushed Theme Park UnWorldwide off of this thing by hacking the restraints, and he DIEd on impact. Two security members saw what happened, and then, Dan got away, so he wouldn't get arrested.
- Another interesting fact is that it is one of few roller coasters in the UnWorld with a train horn for some reason. (Not Alt 2.0's fault)
- SGT Coaster - A coaster that aside from being themed to SGT. Miles, has a lot of insane elements. It has a tilt section that tilts You upwards so you face the sky, then it launches you insanely fast upwards, then it does multiple inversions, jumps from track sections to other track sections, and it even has bits without any supports, which looks kinda insane.
- UnDefeatable - A Very very Very Very Fast Air Launched Coaster that is even faster than "Formula Rossa" at Ferrari World Abu Dhabi; no one except Chuck Norris wants to ride it. It has great airtime, and all fans of airtime would love it. It is located underground, and it can only be accessed through a secret door in the McDonald's in the park. It was previously at ALTON TOWERS under the name "Bob the Builder's ride", but it was only there for 2 years before being relocated to Squadala land in 2008, after being SBNO for two years at Alton. It goes all the way to Cool Land and back, and it can even be used as a method of transport to get there. If you don't remember what SBNO means, go reread the page again.
- WaCoaster - A WaRoller Coaster that can only be ridden (rode?) by Wa-Guys, and is sponsored by Wawa.
- Numterbloks: The Ride - A roller coaster themed to the end of the world. It is technically like "The Swarm" at Thorpe Park.
- Ultramobile Run - a ride themed to that time You went on the London-Dead End Highway with the Ultramobile. It uses the same technology "Test Track" at Epcot uses.
- Regular Coaster - A Hypercoaster themed to the Regular Show. There really isn't much to say about it, aside from the fact that is themed to the Regular Show.
- Elevator Coaster - A Rollercoaster where you go in an Elevator/Lift, and you go all the way to the top in it. It even plays the Elevator Music, but you could play other music on it too. After the lift, it goes into a 120 degree drop, and then does Multiple inversions.
- LAZOR COASTER - Some launched coaster where you get launched out of Shoop da Whoop's Mouth, and the idea is that You are being fired out of SDW when he fires his Lazor.
- Indestructicoaster - A rollercoaster built out of Indestructium.
- SPLOOSH - A weird kinda ride with a very strange mascot called Worjulon. It was originally in Cool Land, but was later relocated to Squadala land in 2004. No one knows who manufactured it, or how much it costed to make. No matter what, it's the only ride of it's kind in the UnWorld.
- WorldWorld: Not to be confused with WordWorld, this massive Earth - Shaped structure contains immersive worlds such as UnUnited Kingdom, China, Soviet Russia etc, and some made up Chinese-European cities, and these worlds have animatronic people that some people have been known to have destroyed.
- And many others!
Trivia[]
- It's so popular with Chinese people, that another one was built near Beijing.
- In fact, it was so popular, that MORE copies of this park were built. One was built next to ALTON TOWERS in the UnUnited Kingdom, 1000 were built in UnAmerica, 2 in Canada, 100000 in China, 25 in Japan, 342 in South Korea, 5000 in Soviet Russia, 4 in Non-Soviet Russia, 543 in Midlantic, 80000 in India, and Unfortunately for Africa..... ONLY 1!