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Spider-Man
Spider-Man

Spider-Man showing off for criminals.

Gender: Man
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Brown
Species: Spider (supposedly)
Human (in reality)
Home: New York City
Death: Probably something stupid
AKA: Peter Parker
Likes: Fighting
Dislikes: Crime, Spoderman
Education: Masters Degree in Biochemistry
Occupation: Scientist (formerly), Superhero
Known For: Being a moron
UnRank: 63 (his current IQ)


Cquote1 Aaa! It's a spider! Kill it! Cquote2
Spider-Man upon seeing the Itsy Bitsy Spider

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is a guy who just happens to think he is a spider. When he was in high school, he was bitten by a spider. He was then hit upside the head. The two events combined, causing him to think he was secretly a giant spider in human form. He then started running around in a stupid costume claiming to be Spider-Man.

After making himself the official town idiot, he decided he wanted to be a super hero. He started running around beating up "criminals" and "thugs". These were actually regular civilians, but Spider-Man says they're criminals and thugs. When asked what they did wrong, Spider-Man makes up some stupid New York crime like "walking around on a Sunday with an ice cream in your pocket" or "wearing slippers after 10 PM".

One time, Spider-Man was up against a clone of himself who was just as retarded as he was. The two pointed at each other, not knowing who was who. Was it the themselves, or the clone, they asked. Yeah, they're really stupid.

After dealing with his clone by shoving him down a drain pipe, Spider-Man was eventually caught for being a vigilante and sent to The German Prison. He was released five minutes later, for German Prison policy dictates that inmates must be released upon reaching insanity. He has since been traveling the world beating people up and doing stupid things.

He eventually got killed by Indominus Rex for no reason whatsoever. That's how cruel Indominus is.

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