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Snowmen
Snowman

Friendly snowman!

Scientific name: Homo sapien frigis
Hair color: None
Eye color: Coal lumps/rocks/buttons
Habitat: places with thick layers of snow
Natural Range: Anywhere
Time Alive: 1380 CE - World War III
Edible? Yes
Tastes Like... Water, some reports also include carrots in the flavour
Prays on Ice, Frozen banquet TV dinners, leaves, carrots, dead birds
Is Prayed Upon by The Sun, The Snowman Mafia, Evil Snowmen
Intelligence: Sapient, Intelligence varies
Conservation Status: Scarce (Common in winter)
Powers: Ice control, firearms
UnRank: 0 (Uncivilized)
1486 (Civilized)

Snowmen are one of the myriad of races that inhabit UnWorld. They are generally good natured folk who are the ones who originally wrote Christmas carols, which they sing rather well.

Snowmen live in cold places, such as Soviet Russia, southern Lolcat Land and Canada, where they build massive villages out of wood and raise all their Snowmen children. It is confirmed that there are Snowwomen, but due to the genetic makeup of snow, Snowmen are more prevalent.

DO NOT confuse Evil Snowmen with their good natured cousins. There are ways to recognise the differences:

  1. Snowmen sing Christmas Carols rather well; Evil Snowmen only sing bad Christmas Carols and they do so poorly.
  2. Snowmen eat only dead things; Evil Snowmen eat people.
  3. Snowmen are gentle and good-natured; Evil Snowmen are EVIL!
  4. Snowmen look non-evil.
Travelers who are lost in cold places are often rescued and healed by Snowmen, making them highly respected by many. However, when threatened, Snowmen can and will defend their homes and families from invaders. They have been known to fight in the Ducky Legion during Arctic Operations.
Snowman packing heat
Louie Louie's Notes
Remove and dispose of all accessories from the creature. If you find any carrots feed them to a nearby stallion. Gradually apply heat to melt the snow body down into water. With filters preferably meant for water filtration, strain this water with any filters on hand to gradually remove any surface level debris, heat the water up to your local boiling point to kill any bacteria or viruses. Cleanse equipment, and repeat this step and the previous step until the water is safe. Take out a nearby teabag and steep it in the water for 5 minutes, do not add any sugar, and wait until it cools off before consumption.
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