UnAnything Wiki

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UnAnything Wiki
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Smoke and some random kid

Smoke, offering some drugs (weed, specifically) to a random kid.

Not to be confused with Smoke, Smoker, or Big Smoke for that matter

Smoke Geistenberg is an infamous Canadian grifter and the abusive ex-boss of "Hip Choice" and The Gray Man, most well-known for selling drugs to children in the 1980s. After getting caught by the police, he had to participate in a PSA with several other guys, including Alf, Garfield, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Alvin Seville. The PSA was terrible, of course, but it convinced a bunch of kids to not do them because of how lame they made it look. Although Smoke was defeated in the film, his drug empire wouldn't collapse until the early 2000s, when he was caught down in a mansion in Cali after being turned in by a bitter ex-employee.

Smoke is actually made of weed smoke, but he has disowned weed as one of his "goods". Why? Because "you're too late, Spider-Man! Weed has been legalized!" and that's no good if you wanna jack up the prices, because folks can't get the stuff anywhere legal. He does sell Lean, though, which explains why he's purple. He also sells meth, coke, and even Crystal Pepsi (Larry's favorite), but it's all really expensive.

Trivia[]

  • He's allergic to anything from CheapoLand
  • He's tried to sell drugs in Nam's village it didn't end well for Smoke
  • He once shot The Gray Man in the leg over him and "Hip" letting Lizard Guy go.
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