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Skyrim Civil War
Beginning

1376

End

1378

Place

Skyrim

Outcome

Sheogorath rules Skyrim

Major battles

Various Battles of Skyrim

Combatants

Imperial Legion

Stormcloaks

Daedric Army

Commanders

Willy Wonka
Generals
Legates

Ulfric Stormcloak

Sheogorath

The Skyrim Civil War was a major conflict fought within Skyrim from 1376-1378. The war was fought over stupid nonsense, but Sheogorath liked it as it gave him the chance to rule all of Skyrim.

Pre-War

Tension first started building when Everybody realized how stupid King Torygg was. At the end of the Skyrim-Loompaland War Torygg signed a treaty with Loompaland's king, Willy Wonka. This treaty stated Willy Wonka could to whatever he wanted, and Torygg got to pocket $5. Ulfric Stormcloak was infuriated by this, and he formed the Stormcloaks. He declared Civil War against the Imperial Legion.

During the War

Battle of Skyrim

All of the battles took place in Skyrim, but some idiot decided to call the first battle the Battle of Skyrim. The Battle of Skyrim was basically a bunch of Stormcloaks sitting outside the Skyrim capital screaming "You're stupid!" over and over. Eventually, the army was released, and a battle broke out. Both teams sucked so much, Nobody won that battle.

Second Battle of Skyrim

The same idiot historian decided the second battle would be called the Second Battle of Skyrim. The Second Battle of Skyrim was when the Stormcloaks started doing the Skyrim Shuffle in protest of the government. The Imperial Skyrim soldiers thought it was a party in their honor, so they started dancing too. The Second Battle of Skyrim was basically a three day party.

Third Battle of Skyrim

During the Third Battle of Skyrim, the Empire struck back. They rained bombs all over the Stormcloak camps. The stupid pilots were actually attacking friendly camps, but they were pretty proud of themselves, so nobody told them about their mistake.

4th-41st Battle of Skyrim

The 4th-41th battles of Skyrim went about the same as the first three. The stupid Stormcloaks and the idiot Imperials just "attacked" each other pointlessly without actually accomplishing anything. Sheogorath watched these battles in total disgust.

42nd Battle of Skyrim

During the 42nd battle of Skyrim, Sheogorath could take no more. Leading his Daedric Army, he destroyed both armies in one day. The army then marched up to the capital and declared the war over.

Postwar

Sheogorath declared himself king of Skyrim, and he has been ever since. To avoid future conflicts, he implemented the Sheogorath Constitution. In celebration of the victory, he made CHEESE FOR EVERYONE! Then he took it back and made cheese for no one.

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