Imagine that you have zero cookies and zero friends, and you split them evenly among zero friends. See? It doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends
—Siri
Siri is Apple’s version of the stalking robot Alexa and whilst Siri doesn’t have ties with the CIA it does have ties with the FBI! Siri likes to record your conversations and send them to Apple so they can spam you ads you don’t want and because this isn’t a PC adblock doesn’t work. Siri was created with good intentions by the man himself but when he died to the big C Tim Cook took over and he only cares about money, pools of money. He made Siri stalk you even when you’re not using him or her and made it send data back to Apple. Now that’s very monstrous if him, isn’t it?
Siri would even roast you if you ask it what 0 divided by 0 is and will say you have no friends. Why Siri, why? Sadly the bastards at Apple changed it with iOS 16 and Siri no longer roasts you. I tried it and it isn't even funny and reminds me of the boring horrible memories at school!
Lesson learned: NEVER USE SIRI!!!
Siri’s New Update[]
Siri is a robot who does not care about anything or anyone. Her birthday is actually in 2008, and she is funny. She does not spy on you now. Unfortunately, she now does nothing. But she is less annoying now.