Seems like you've committed a crime. If you want more information, press 0. We have a triad speaker helping you *music*
—Shenhua
Shenhua is the best assassin in the Hong Kong Triad and is the best member of the trio with Lotton the Wizard and Sawyer the Cleaner. She is the host of the podcast That's Disgusting!. She is known for speaking in a stereotypical Chinese accent when speaking English but explains that she can't control it, saving her from being canceled by stupid Twitter users. She is able to cut bullets in half with her two kukri knives. She also sometimes ties her together kukris with rope. She can fly away like a fucking Helicopter. She is one of the few people trying to assassinate Wario for the ∞ UnDollar bounty.
Taiwan is a country, you bitch ass CCP workers[]
Shenhua was born in Taiwan (which is a country) and there is nothing known about her childhood except for the fact that she became a Taoist and is really proud of her native Taiwanese heritage. As such, she fucking hated Winnie the Pooh and the Chinese Government. Fast forward a few years, and she became an assassin with a strange weapon, two kukris tied together with a very long rope. (Take note Sniper). Why did she do that? Well, in her own words, "Stupid guns run out of Boolets, but blades can last forever." But the rope is for other purposes, as she will start spinning it to use as a long-range spear and pull off the funny scorpion move. She can also use it as a way to fly around like a Helicopter.
Not long after, Mister Chang assigned her to escort the Lagoon Company and destroy a secret document that showed a new type of Mess/Spametti. If a group like the Anything Team found the documents, they would be able to create a crisis on UnAnything. So Shenhua goes to get her Weed-addicted partner Leigharch and escorted our favorite badass Revy to rescue Rock from the evil Rebel Army, before burning the Mess documents because she didn't want a sequel of the Skibidi wars. A few moments of being called "Chinglish" by Revy later, she returned to do a quick job of dumping a man off to Sawyer the Cleaner so she could cut him up, as a message to not steal money from Master Rizzler Chang.
Later, she would join the bounty hunter crew that was focused on hunting down Jane and capturing her alive, and found out what Sawyer looked like without her cleaning outfit in the process. She, along with Sawyer and Lotton, decided to go hunt Jane down to see if she could get a Promotion. She shows up and threatens to kill Eda during the long hunt, even though if she kills a nun she'll go to Hell. However, she beats her argument with the simple fact that she's a Taoist, which lets her kill nuns without giving a fuck about going to Hell. However, it all gets fucked up because of the Lagoon Company and ends with her getting shot several times by the nun, leaving her to DIE or so we thought, as our favorite sigma with 100 kgs of body armor on him, Lotton the Wizard, showed up and rescued Shenhua along with Sawyer the Cleaner. She would comment that he was not the type to DIE people and would be better as a host for Bodello. However, Lotton explained that he was "too clumsy for that". After that incident, the three then joined together afterward as their own team, with Shenhua allowing them to live at her place.
During Roberta's revenge-fueled rampage, she, along with Sawyer and Lotton, tried to stop her, but it ended with her kukri broken because Roberta fucking bit it so hard it asplode and proceeded to dismantle Sawyer's chainsaw. Yet again, if it wasn't for Lotton saving them by doing a dramatic entrance and getting kicked in the pingas, she would've been murdered.
After that, Shenhua got another job that was pretty fun, which was hosting the podcast That's Disgusting!. She is still trying to get a promotion to this day. She currently resides in her fancy home with her buddies Lotton and Sawyer.
Trivia[]
- Because of her broken English, many people call her "Yes Lady."
- Many dead people call her Shenhua because they don't know.
- Winnie the Pooh wants her dead.
- She doesn't understand why Kasumi Todoh, Ally Kabam, and Juno hate her podcast.
- She tried to be hip and trendy by saying Gen Alpha words, but it pissed Sawyer off because in her words, "SHENHUA, YOU'RE A 40 YEAR OLD LADY, NOT A 5 YEAR OLD. PLEASE ACT YOUR AGE."