The Seven Worldly Cosines (called Seven Deadly Cosines by normal people) are a group of seven guys who want to take over the world. Their goal is to destroy every government of the seven continents of the UnWorld and kill all of their enemies (people they have a personal vendetta against, aka grudge). Once they destroy all of the governments of the UnWorld, they will each take one of seven territories of the UnWorld and enforce their own policies. This will never happen since they are weak idiots who don't know anything about taking over the world or ruling a nation or even ruling themseves.
Unlike the Seven Deadly Sines (who they ripped off), the Seven Deadly Cosines are not concentrated stupidity personified, but they ain't anything too bright at all. But like the Safety Data Sheet Seven Deadly Sines, the Seven Deadly Cosines always FAIL in trying to achieve their goals, in fact, they always EPICALLY FAIL since they are bad guys.
They are led by R.O.B., a "scary" robot who claims to be smarter than Albert Einstein, one of the smartest guys who's ever lived, but he has never demonstrated this "intelligence" he thinks he has.
Members of the Seven Worldly Cosines take the titling convention of adding "of the World" at the end of their gang names. For example, R.O.B. is the "Knowledge of the World." All of their names are lies.
All the Members[]
- R.O.B. - Knowledge of the World
- Loser - Winner of the World
- Clyde - The One Who Haunts of the World (Clyde wanted to be special)
- Joseph Stalin - Comradinator of the World
- Joe Biden - Mr. President of the World
- Gooigi - Who's Your God of the World? (Gooigi being cringe)
- That Girl From Eddsworld - Revenge of the World
Origins of the SWC[]
R.O.B. Tries Again[]
R.O.B. was sick of being ignored, so he created a gang for guys who were always ignored and disrespected by everyone. R.O.B., at first, didn't know what to do with this new gang. Turn it into something like Alcoholics Anonymous? A therapy group for losers? Another failed attempt at world domination? "THAT COULD WORK A SECOND TIME," R.O.B. said, being very nonniclogged in the circuits at this point. He would make this new gang full of guys who want to rule the UnWorld.
R.O.B. is the most intelligent of the group, which is why he is the Knowledge of the World.
Loser's Gonna Win! NOT![]
Loser thought joining the Seven Worldly Cosines would make him unsad since he would have friends to connect with, being ignored and disregarded by everyone and all. But he realized why people like him are ignored and disrespected and wanted to leave since it made him depressed, but these are the guys who he has connected the most with and he wants to be understood by people, so he stayed.
Loser wants to be a winner someday, which is why he is the Winner of the World.
Clyde, Spreading Stupidism One... Hover... At a Time[]
Clyde wanted to join this club since he thought it would be a way to make more friends (he doesn't know that everyone he's ever talked to hates him). He thinks ruling the world will make everyone his friend because everyone who lives in your subcontinent is your friend right? WRONG. Clyde is unbelievably stupid and is more stupid than the entirety of the Seven Deadly Sines.
Clyde thinks haunting people is a way to make friends, which is why he is The One Who Haunts of the World. He kept the "of" because he is an idiot.
Guess Who's Back? It's Joseph Stalin![]
Joseph Stalin is back from Hell (nah, not Hell; Communists don't believe in that crap) UnAmerica, after being buried there for his death, and he is ANGRY for this disrespect. So angry, in fact, that he wanted to turn UnAmerica into the UnUnited States of Communist Socialist Republiks (Dictatorships). He joined the Seven Deadly Cosines in hopes of being closer to taking over UnAmerica and eradicating every Capitalist and Fascist; to him, they are the same.
Stalin wants to exterminate every Cap and Fasc, which is why he is the Comradinator of the World, a portmanteau of comrade and exterminator.
Big Joe Biden Slap Nuts[]
Joe Biden lost the presidential election in 2028, actually, he wasn't allowed to enter since he already had two terms, in UnAmerica. For this, Joe wanted to take over all of East Asia and Australia, because he blamed them for voting the wrong way since they were upside down and they could have easily been confused. He wants to teach them a lesson about voting for the wrong candidate by slapping their nuts.
Joe (thinks he) lost the in election in 2028, which is why he is Mr. President of the World.
Gooigi Takes the G, the Gloom, That Is[]
Gooigi has been made fun of and complete Complete COMPLETELY been disrespected his entire life. Even while asleep, people come to his "house" (a cardboard box reinforced with steel sheets) and make fun of his drab situation and blow up his stuff. One day, he decided that HE HAD ENOUGH OF THE UNWORLD'S BULLCRAP and joined the Seven Worldly Cosines in hopes of killing all of the people that live, rent free, in his head. Being an SJW and a Nazi and a Grammar Nazi, he hates UnAmerica the most and wanted to take it over, but Stalin already chose UnAmerica, making Gooigi sad.
Gooigi is cringe and an edgelord, which is why he chose the title Who's Your God of the World?
Revenge of That Girl From Eddsworld[]
That Girl From Eddsworld is also back from Hell, becoming more powerful than Bob could imagine. That Girl From Eddsworld joined the Seven Deadly Cosines so she could have an entire continent full of torture devices to torture her killer and the people she doesn't like. She chose the most grueling continent, Africa, to torture people in the hot hot sun.
That Girl From Eddsworld wants to take revenge on everybody, which is why she is the Revenge of the World.
The First and Last Showdown[]
One day, the Seven Worldly Cosines finally decided that they would try to destroy a government. They first decided to try and destroy Russia, since it was a relatively modern country.
When they entered Russia, they were easily defeated by a random babushka, except for Stalin, whom she praised. The Seven Deadly Cosines used this to their advantage. Joe Stalin was able to gather a huge following as they marched all the way to the Kremlin, where the government and Vladimir Putin was. They tried to get inside the Kremlin to kill the government and Putin, but the government called a bunch of bulldozers (they were out of tanks) to roll over the guys.
"What are they, protestors?" said one of the dozer drivers.
These dozers scared off all of Stalin's followers and the Seven Worldly Cosines were alone as Putin called the Armored Captain's Anti-Crime Clan who beat up all of the gang members.
This was not a showdown but an utter FAIL by the Seven Deadly Cosines. Why are they even named the Seven Worldly Cosines; what do cosines have to do with anything??? O Captain, My Captain... help me please...
Trigia[]
- I guess you could say the Cosines are 1 over the Sines.. wait no, that would be if these guys were the Cosecants, FRICK!
- If the Seven Deadly Sines were in Captain 37's Hotel, one floor above the Seven Deadly Cosines, I guess you could say you'd have the Seven Deadly Tangents! less go!1 my joke is intelligent!
- There was another cosine at some point named Junkil Redux (they're the final boss of TF2 if you can't remember). They were kicked out and replaced with Clyde because the Worldly Cosine name "Battle against of the World" was FAIL even by their standards.