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The Second Undefeatable War is an even more top-secret, even more significant war involving the Undefeatables than the first one. It started in 1976 but, due to events that corrupted the space-time continuum, occasionally bled over into the present day. It was fought against the god-like affronts to nature known as the WaTinky-Winkies by several members of the Lower Counsel of Undefeatables as well as the UnAnything Team.

Second Undefeatable War
Unanything headquarters
Beginning

1976 (with intermittent time-skips)

End

2014 (with intermittent time-skips)

Place

UnAnything Team headquarters, timeless void, deep space

Outcome

Asplode Tinky Winky escapes into the time stream and technically ceases to exist in the present but continues to affect the past; all remaining WaTinky-Winkies are either restrained or eliminated

Combatants

Undefeatables

UnAnything Team

WaTinky-Winkies

Legion of Captains (MIA)

Commanders

WaPo, WaWaPo, WaWaWaWaTinky-Winky, Captain 0, Pre-Split Azure, Dunecat

Pre-Split Azure, Tenth, Oobooglunk, Captain 0 again

WaWaWaWaWaTinky-Winky, Asplode Tinky Winky

Captain 0 (MIA, but wow, this guy gets around)

Prelude

Wario On WaPo World

One day, the fartudinous Wario, the fat prince of farts himself, was bored and decided to travel to WaPo World by converting his trademark Wa-Machine into a spaceship. This isolated planet, constantly covered in pure darkness, is home to WaPo, one of the most uncontrollable and dangerous Undefeatables to ever exist. She is surveyed by at least one Undefeatable at all times to ensure that she doesn't stir up trouble when it's not wanted. That day, the equally unpredictable WaWaWaWaTinky-Winky was the only one on WaPo watch, with the other Undefeatables temporarily occupied by a new phenomenon that had appeared at the time. Of course, rather than following standard procedure and bombarding the planet with lasers, WaWaWaWaTinky-Winky appeared on the planet himself only to see WaPo break out of prison. Wario tricked them both into going into the Wa-Machine, where he tried to trap them but accidentally made wa-clones from them. Thus, two entities entered but three emerged: WaWaWaWaTinky-Winky, WaPo, and WaWaPo. Now, WaWaPo was far more evil than her original counterpart and she killed her, Wario, and WaWaWaWaTinky-Winky with a single blow. The two dead Teletubbies, who would normally respawn immediately, took 8.33 days to return from the dead, so the almighty Upper Counsel of Undefeatables finally decided to take action.

Momentary Measures

The Upper Counsel was still busy with the phenomenon and hated to be disturbed, so in a rare lapse in judgement (or a definitely good show of excellent judgement, if he's reading this article), the all-powerful Chuck Norris himself power-leaped from the cosmic Undefeatable Palace to WaPo World to have a good look at this new potential Undefeatable. In the quickest promotion ceremony ever, he took her back to the palace, made her balance on the enormous UnRank Scales (the usual), and promoted her to Undefeatable status when she kept her balance perfectly. She retained the title of Undefeatable for 8.33 days, during which she also did absolutely nothing except enjoy the new phenomenon with the others, until Chuck Norris sent her out on her first mission as an Undefeatable one fine morning. Thus began some of the most confusing events in un-history.

WaWa Two: Electric WaWaLoo

Completely out of nowhere, another Wa-Tinky Winky showed up named WaWaWaWaWaTinky-Winky, with the plan to attack a building in the middle of a timeless void in space called the UnAnything Team Headquarters. This was the workplace of the UnAnything Team, the weirdos that write all the stuff on this wiki. Chuck sent WaWaPo off into space to wipe the floor with this guy, but the opposite happened instead: WaWaWaWaWaTinky-Winky pulled out an AK-47 with one hand and a Magnum with the other, blasted WaWaPo into space, and watched as her natural defenses against the vacuum failed her. However, it turned out that she had actually faked her death in order to return to WaPo World and make another wa-clone of herself. Then, she disappeared, either to continue faking her death or to actually pass into the afterlife, and only WaWaWaPo remained. This creature was a thousand times stronger than its predecessor, leaping through space with the greatest of ease and shrugging off WaWaWaWaWaTinky-Winky's bullets like they were a summer drizzle. Just then, while the two wa-creatures were fighting, new troops were being mobilized from inside the building.

UnAnything Team and Legion of Captains, Roll Out!

The UnAnything Team's leader, Captain 0, is also a member of the Lower Counsel of Undefeatables as well as his own group of computer-generated warriors called the Legion of Captains. He summoned the Legion and even invited his battle-inexperienced sister, Captain 7, to join the fray. The situation was so dire that, to everyone's surprise, the traitorous Captain 1 offered to help their former teammates. They accepted, given the circumstances, and the Legion of Captains plus two charged out the door to kick WaWaWaWaTinky-Winky's butt once and for all.

They died.

Well, technically, their physical forms were destroyed by a casual swipe of WaWaWaWaWaTinky-Winky's iron hand, but their virtual selves were all backed up in the computers inside the headquarters. While they 3D-printed themselves new bodies, WaWaWaWaWaTinky-Winky had realized that while he used one hand to destroy the Legion of Captains, his other hand could not hold back WaWaPo alone and he had left himself open to attack.

He died.

Of course, like others before him, it would only be a matter of time before he respawned, but the threat was delayed for now and would not return for the rest of the war. However, there was still the problem of handling WaWaWaPo: in a frenzy, she would not stop until everything in front of her was turned to dust, including the UnAnything Team Headquarters. The headquarters existed in a timeless void, so three UnAnything Team representatives were able to join in from the present day: Azure, Tenth, and Oobooglunk. While Tenth and Oobooglunk helped revive the Legion of Captains and fortify the headquarters, respectively, Azure mobilized his secret weapon: the Big Ship O' Doom. This massive spaceship was mounted with a laser cannon that could chop planets in half, and it was pointed right at WaWaWaPo. The creature laughed, expecting to be unharmed, and even leapt into point-blank laser range.

She died.

Everyone thought that was the end of that, but there was something they hadn't seen: just before WaWaWaWaWaTinky-Winky had left himself open, he had used his super speed to dash back to WaPo World and create a wa-clone of himself. This creature was unlike any other, by a name like none had ever seen. It was...

Asplode Tinky Winky

Why.

Why, why, why.

This thing launched himself through space, ripped open the Big Ship O' Doom's portside hull with his bare hands before it could turn to face him, and sucked Azure out of the ship like the last drop of milk out of a glass. Despite only being about six or seven feet tall, it moved like a celestial object or a force of nature. He used the pentagram on his forehead to summon an army of WaTinky-Winkies, WaWaTinky-Winkies, and WaWaWaTinky-Winkies to besiege the headquarters and fight a tiring Azure. He also used his Zalgo Corruption, a technique that corrupts spacetime, to open portals to other universes and time periods. His armies marched in just as Chuck Norris himself showed up.

Chuck made short work of everything: he revived Wario, WaPo, WaWaWaWaTinky-Winky, and the freshly-printed Captains. He restored the headquarters too. He even took the Wa-Machine back to Wario's house where it belonged. However, when he turned to catch Asplode Tinky Winky, he had disappeared into the time stream along with his army and, to no one's surprise, the shady Captain 1. Since Asplode Tinky Winky had vanished from the scope of time, the war had been won...or had it?

Aftermath

Turns out the war was more of a stalemate: yes, Asplode Tinky Winky and the others were gone, but the monster's influence echoed through time and space. He was somehow responsible for the creation of AIDS, herpes, the Bubonic Plague, and all forms of cancer. He lay waste to timelines and universes before they could even be discovered. Worst of all, his UnRank was never measured, so nobody will ever know how strong he truly was. Estimates provided by the 30-foot gash in the Big Ship o' Doom's quark-lined hull, however, place his UnRank in the range of Grahal.

Asplode Tinky Winky's visage, however, would prove present over the next few years - four new Wa-Tinkies would end up appearing, the product of various bizarre sets of circumstances, with several more expected to be identified in the coming months.

Trivia

  • Vesta was present fighting jellyfish despite not having come into existence on the meta-timeline.
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