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Fact: Sauron has never done a face reveal.

Sauron is a megalomaniacal former senator for the Bosnian Liberal Party, and creator of the One Ring. In SA 1202 he won the Most Dangerous Person in the Universe Award, which he is very proud of (although it would probably have been awarded to him a year earlier if there weren't so many Ents on the committee). Very little is known about him besides these facts, but we've tried to include as much information as we can about him anyway.

IQ Test Results

Sauron was an extremely bright child, or so his parents thought. At the age of ten he was recruited to Dol Guldur School of Necromancy and Goldsmithing. Despite flunking out, he continued to believe he was intelligent until he was twenty five, when he considered becoming an evil genius. After getting his IQ tested however, he discovered he was only about as smart as a potato chip, which left him two career options: become an evil idiot (the opposite of an evil genius), or join the Bosnian Potato Chip Party.

He chose the former, on account of not actually being a potato chip.

Political Career

Sauron didn't abandon his interest in a career in politics however. In SA 1965 he joined the Bosnian Liberal Party, eventually becoming the Senator for Middle Earth despite it not actually being a state of Bosnia. When the Bosnian Government realised this, he lost his job.

He later somehow became the deputy leader of the Bosnian Liberal Party, but was fired from this job too when it was discovered he still had Middle Earth citizenship, which he refused to revoke. Dejected, he walked home from Parlimentary Assembly in the rain, while local buskers played sad music on their violins. Annoyed by an event like this happenning outside a Hollywood movie, a passing Fartbutt of Death decided to shoot Sauron with a Lego ray, turning him into a Lego figurine. The effects of the ray were later reversed by a Lego ray reversal pill, which had the side effect of making Sauron even stupider.

Having the IQ of a potato chip made it hard for Sauron to find work, so he decided to return to his original career, being an evil idiot.

Defeat

After trying to take over Arda and being defeated by having his finger cut off by Isildur, his physical body was destroyed and only his farts remained. These gradually fermented until Sauron again regained the power to take Middle Earth, but he was again defeated, this time by Freddo Baggins, who pooped the One Ring into the crater of Mount Dumb after accidentally swallowing it.

He is now presumed dead, though reports suggest fart gas is again accumulating around Mordor.

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