Salina is a cold, dark, and brooding cold femboy Pokémon trainer cold Rio2 friend Russian cold femboy from Russia. His other name is Grussia, which is like a pear even though he isn't pear-shaped if ya know what I mean. No matter which name is used, both are girl names. He is currently king of the cosmos Princess Rosalina's wife husband. They don't like each other.
He was once a hobo living in Moscow barely scraping by and having zero purpose
. However, a hero called Rio2 offered him an adventure of a lifetime: saving her wife Ach from the evil dragon Ser!! After saving Ach and seeing him and Rio get married, he decided to stay in Rome and found a career in Olympic sprinting since he can RUN LIKE PEPPINO. Olympics is famous, but nobody knows the names of the athletes, and nobody bothers to try to know them, which is why Salina's UnRank is only 343; because no one cares. He's also not that powerful, but he has a bag with infinite sinks inside which he can use to kill people, but he doesn't kill people.
He became a Pokémon trainer when he accidentally RAN LIKE PEPPINO up a ramp that faced west of Rome. He landed in Spain, which had a shortage of Gym Leaders due to a snowboarding accident. Salina landed in front of the Gym Leader tryouts line and easily became a Pokémon Gym Leader due to interesting coincidence.
And then another accident involving RUNNING LIKE PEPPINO ended with him becoming Princess Rosalina's husband.
How's Moscow?[]
All at once, Salina got FIRED from his job, his girlfriend the Ukraine left him for a man more useful than him, and he got forcefully evicted from his house by the Mafia. From this, all he had to do was get another job picking grass. Unfortunately, it was PATRIXXX GRAAS, which was extremely dangerous, but he had titanium leggings (all femboys have all leggings) so it was all right. After gaining enough money for a house and buying it, he tried dating again. He met a girl called Terezi Pyrope and things seemed fine despite her being blind. Terezi did her unpaid blind justice stuff while Salina gave her a house and made money. Things were good and happy for a while until Salina one day thought Terezi looked too sexy and became scared of her. Looking at her made him hot, which was bad for a dood who's sweat glands are frozen, so he tried not looking at her. Unfortunately for him, it was one those days and Terezi noticed him trying to avoid her. So, she increased the intensity quickly! The problem with frozen sweat glands is that getting hot enough to sweat will cause hypothermia and kill him with coldness. Anyway, she gets him to bed, and he almost starts sweating! (Talk about sexualy deadly!) Before anything happens, he cancels the sexing and tells Terezi that she's too hot and that the problem is him, not her. He should have thought about what would happen if a Frostivich mixed with a Pyrope. Terezi didn't know what he developed but thought it would be better if they broke up. Terezi left but at least he didn't DIE. And then the Mafia removed him from his own home, again.
Hobo to Hero[]
Salina is a hobo again, now this time he can't get a job due to technological advancement. But he does have 5 hammer space bags filled with infinite sinks, for some reason. But before he could think of anything to do with those bags, he gets approached by some Italian plumbers, an evil dude in a suit, and a space cat. Rio tells Salina that they are going to the Fish Union to try and save her husband from the kidnapper Ser and they need directions. Instead of giving directions, he sees a new opportunity of purpose open up, he gives them some of the hammer space bags full of sinks, which they can use to bash Ser's skull, and he asks to join the group on their journey. Rio accepts and with their newfound power, they head straight to Ser's castle in Raccoon City. At Ser's castle, which happened to be an apartment, the battle ended as soon as it began with everyone using their infinite sinks to beat up Ser. Ach was freed, and they all went to Rome. Salina was present at Rio and Ach's marriage ceremony.
A festival happened and he was one of the people being celebrated, which wasn't something he was expecting, and it really warmed his heart! He'd remember that day as the day where he was closer to death and not worried at all.
Rolympian[]
Salina decided to stay in Rome since there was nowhere else to go. He went to a tryout for Olympic sprinting since he knew that he had the power to RUN LIKE PEPPINO, and the sprinting was so short that his temperature increase would not cause him to sweat. He beat everyone in the tryouts since no one else could RUN LIKE PEPPINO other than Peppino and no one could Koopabackdashwaveslide Hoverwalkmoonland since they weren't fat enough and no fatty would go on a running track in the first place due to embarrassment for being fat. He didn't exactly have to train, so when Ach ever got stolen by Ser, he would be there to help Rio. When the Olympic Games eventually came, he represented the Mushroom Kingdom in sprinting, and he won of course. He didn't become famous, though, because nobody watched the 1558 Olympic Games due to the fact that everyone was playing their mobile shame consoles, and nobody had any TVs.
The Accident[]
On one day of training, some people were moving a ramp and got in the way of Salina RUNNING LIKE PEPPINO. Thus, he went airborne going west. After being in the air for some number of hours, he landed in a white building in Spain.
Armarda Replacer[]
The Spanish Armarda are a group of Spanish Pokémon trainers who are also executioners. They are also Pokémon Gym Leaders for the fun of it, or to seem normal. The state of the Armarda when Salina crashed through the building was that one of the members, Grusha, had a snowboarding accident that somehow involved his gayness and the Armarda needed a temporary replacement. Salina happened to fall into the recruitment building and since he is a doppelgänger of Grusha (what a coincidence!) he easily became one the Spanish executioners and was sent to a Gym at the top of a mountain. He gave his name as "Grussia" when talking to the recruiter due to barely being conscious after falling for several hours. He was given Grusha's Pokémon, a welcome back, and was given the cryptic task: fill the quota. He didn't know what that meant so he just did Pokémon battling, getting more experience. He eventually became a Pokémon Master, but his first quota check came at the end of the quarter; in 2 seconds. Grussia was at the front door of his gym when the checkers came to count the bodies. Grussia told them that the bodies are in there somewhere, and he began to think of a way to escape. When the checkers came out of the gym, ready to beat him up, Salina RAN LIKE PEPPINO like he was trying to tow the Titanic across Antarctica up the mountain, and he entered space.
Cosmic Observing[]
Being human, Salina could not live in empty space. He began to quickly freeze, but luckily, Princess Rosalina happened to be travelling past UnWorld at this time and she decided to take him onto her Comet Observatory. Salina was unconscious and had almost started dying, but he was fine. When he did wake up, Rosalina watched over him. Salina wasn't scared by her, even though she's like 7 feet tall. Rosalina is not hot, especially with that giant head, so Salina doesn't have a chance of death while with her. Rosalina introduces herself as Rosalina and Salina felt attracted to that. Is this narcissism? Anyway, Rosalina is bored all the time caring for the Lumas and power stars, so she tells Salina to take care of those things while she goes on vacation to Alola. She leaves a Chromebook to guide him on who, what, when, why, and how to feed Lumas and protect power stars. The book gives names to all the 7201 Lumas: Comet, Co-Star, Lumalee, Nova, Llama, Ledoot... The book tells that the Lumas need to be fed Star Bits or cheeseburgers, the power stars need to be protected from ugly Browser and other horrors, and the Comet Observatory needs housekeeping. Lumas need to be fed every 9 hours, power stars need to be protected 27 hours a day, and the Comet Observatory needs to be cleaned once every millennium. These need to happen because Lumas are secretly ultra powerful and can plug black holes, power stars give power (well...), and Rosalina likes to keep her home clean. To feed Lumas, throw the Star Bit or cheeseburger at them. To protect power stars, use a gun. To clean the Observatory, use a broom, duster, mop, water, and other cleaning supplies.
Salina failed to do everything and risked the fate of the galaxy. Because of that, Rosalina had to feed 7000 starving Lumas, beat up Bowser and take back the power stars, and clean up a ketchup stain on the floor. After doing all of that, Rosalina went to scold Salina, which he found sexy (not hot, though). Anyway, he tried to use his level 4.2 charisma on Rosalina, and it WORKED?!?!? Explanation: right time, right place, right feel, planets aligned, stars aligned, and galaxies aligned on that zeptosecond. But actually, Rosalina looked into a future where she marries Wario, which disgusted her, and to distract her from that she decides that she will marry and have fun with Salina the relatively somewhat normal human. Obviously not a love marriage (barely less than a friendship with benefits) and with barely any interaction with other people, it was inevitable that they would become at least indifferent to each other, really quickly. Salina's stuck in space because Rosalina won't let him go back to UnWorld or any other civilized planets because she thinks that all the people are gonna start shooting their guns into space when Salina inevitably talks about Rosalina among the UnWorldians. Rosalina doesn't tell him this, so he never sees his friends ever again.