Close enough.

Rotten Tomatoes are yucky stuff that you throw at bad actors. But we don't care about those. Rotten Tomatoes is actually a website where you go and talk about bad actors behind their backs. You also talk about how stupid movies are and how much you hated the most recent performance of "And To Think I Saw It On Mulberry Street: On Ice".

Rotten Tomatoes first started when Jimbo Wales decided he liked pie. Meanwhile, in a totally unrelated incident, some guy decided he wanted a website where people could review movies. The guy made the website, and then Jimbo Wales had his minions write an article about said website. Captain 0 then had his minions write an article about that website. Now Rotten Tomatoes is a website that has a bunch of articles written about it.

Rotten Tomatoes is really good at weeding out all of the really bad movies (because let's admit it, most movies are bad). Then people know not to watch these movies and a bunch of guys go of of business, become homeless, and die a slow and painful death. It's fun!

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