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It has been suggested that this page be merged with User:VestaServal/Project_Wavecrest/Roberta.
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It has been suggested that this page be merged with User:VestaServal/Project_Wavecrest/Roberta.
"No reason for fusion has been specified."
Roberta also known by her full name Rosarita Cisneros and the name of her legend The bloodhound of florencia is the maid of the Lovelace household and a former member of the FARC Guerrillas, trained as an assassin. She is currently the second most wanted criminal and terrorist by the UnPolice. Roberta's skills as a maid are terrible: she can't clean well, and she can't cook without burning the food. However, she has developed a good friendship with and became a mother figure to the heir of the Lovelace family, the young master Garcia Lovelace, son of Diego Lovelace. She is also known as the female version of Chuck Norris because she is super strong, possibly due to the steroids mixed with plotholium that she took while in FARC. According to legends, which are true, she was able to survive three Roundhouse Kicks to the chest before being injured. She lives in the Lovelace mansion in Venezuela.
Her Past[]
There is no information about Roberta's childhood, so let's fast forward to the 1980s, when at some point she joined FARC, a Communist Evil Gorilla group that wishes to overthrow the Colombian government. Because she was a woman, she needed to get really strong in order to do things correctly, so she ate lots of Spametti and took Normal Pills mixed with Plotholium. A few months later, Roberta murdered Lotsa people who were a threat to the Evil Gorillas, including but not limited to Colonel Autumn, stupid capitalist people, members of the Enclave, Frank Horrigan (nearly killed him), a Woman with Pink Beret speaking French, lots of American tourists, politicians, UnPolice, and finally, any bald eagle she saw, attempting to overhunt the eagle whenever she saw it in Colombian land. But wait, there's more. She proceeded to be put on the most wanted list by the UnUnited Nations for her association with the bombing of the US Embassy in Kittenolivia (country). In 1989, Rosarita attacked an Electronic Spaghetti factory, took two engineers hostage, executed them, and ripped apart one of the dead engineer's family photos, keeping it. Rosarita felt heavy Saddening after realizing that she was nothing but a tool for the Tubby Custard cartels that allied themselves with FARC. As such, she deserted the group and joined the Lovelace clan as a maid through her father, who was good friends with Diego Lovelace. After becoming a maid to the Lovelace family, she changed her name to Roberta. However, after FARC found out that she had deserted the group, the Evil Gorillas put a 400,000 UnDollar bounty for anyone who could catch her dead or alive. But there's more: the Enclave joined in with the bounty and added 1 million to the bounty price due to her crimes against not only UnAmerica but the Enclave as a whole.
The Incident with Talon Company[]
Four years after leaving FARC and becoming an Oxi-Clean and Windex-using maid, the Talon Mercenary Company kidnapped the heir to the Lovelace family, Garcia Lovelace. So, Diego sent Roberta after Talon Company in order to retrieve his son from the evil mercenary group because he knew that they would hold him for ransom and wouldn't let him go if they didn't pay them a fair sum of Caps or Undollars. Roberta decided to become the Bloodhound of Florencia again in order to hunt down Talon Company. Beginning her quest, she tracked down a Talon Company informant and interrogated him. After finding out that they shipped the boy off to the femboy capital of the East, Thailand, she killed the informant, mutilating his body beyond recognition before going to the McDonald's Airport to fly to Thailand. At the same time, the Lagoon Company was ordered to ship him off to D.C. but decided to go to the Yellow Flag instead because Revy wanted to harass the owner of the bar, Bao, and because they began thinking that this job was Sussy. Roberta shows up and asks Revy if she has the Happying. Roberta says no and proceeds to ask Bao if he has any info on Talon Company. She gets ridiculed by Bao, but she doesn't care; she just wants to find Garcia. But then Talon Company arrived at the bar with one of their top commanders, a man named Hatton. They asked Lagoon Company where Garcia is, and a gunfight ensued when Roberta shot one of the mercs with her Umbrella Corporation-branded umbrella shotgun (cool invention made by Dr. Van Nostrand). Hatton yelled at Revy about why they brought Garcia here, leading Roberta to target the Lagoon Company, and an all-out gunfight ensued. But then it stopped as Garcia told Rock to take him with the Lagoon Company. Roberta dropped her umbrella and entered a state of Horror Show. But this was no horror show; she was genuinely tweaking out of her mind. Hatton also found out about her previous identity as the Bloodhound of Florencia and was ready to claim that 1 million 400 thousand Undollar bounty. Roberta did not care about the mercenaries' yapping and decided to bid them goodbye by dropping several grenades from her dress, blowing up the bar, engulfing it in flames, and causing Hatton and the rest of the surviving Talon mercs to DIE. Out of some luck, Bao survived but was severely Saddening because his fucking bar was destroyed, though he didn't know that Balalaika would pay for the damages. Hours later, they arrived at a port and started shooting at each other like they were the Boolets man, but then our favorite boss Balalaika arrived and told them that they were surrounded by TF2 Snipers. She told Roberta that she knew about what she did in the 1980s, which confused Garcia. Roberta told Sofia to shut up but surprisingly didn't call her "Fry Face." Instead, she aimed a pistol at her head and told her to shush. Sofia proceeded to tell Garcia about Roberta's past, when she used to be called Rosarita Cisneros, and about all the terrorist shit she did when she was in FARC. Roberta confessed that the stories were true, adding that she did not want Garcia to bear her sins. Despite Balalaika's right-hand sigma man, Boris, telling Talon Company to appease Roberta, she still wanted to fight Revy. As such, a long-ass Brawl began, ending in a draw as Revy and Roberta knocked each other out at the same time. Balalaika, like a cool sigma female, ordered Boris to get in the Little Tikes Cozy Coupe and drive her to the airport, getting Roberta's psycho ass along with Garcia back to Venezuela. Garcia asked her to never pick up a [[:Category |gun]] ever again. Roberta woke up, agreed to it, and asked him to pick up her glasses, as the glasses helped her play the part of a nice, caring maid. After Garcia gave her glasses back, they put them in the Cozy Coupe, drove to the airport, and flew back to Venezuela. Roberta would live a peaceful life...until October of 1995, the incident where her mind was filled with revenge and where she got her second nickname as "The Female Version of Chuck Norris" and also when she fought Chuck Norris himself.
Roberta's Blood Trail[]
As I said before during October of 1995 Roberta would Accompany Diego Lovelace when he went to the capital of Venezuela in order to campaign for the political party of the Ptolemaic Army. As Diego was on the stand with the leader of the Ptolemaid Army a man named Ptolemaios Roberta would watch as the worst thing that happened in her life happened the thing that would spark this rage fueled revenge spree. A Bomb was set off Killing several people including her master and Ptolemaios(Allegedly). At Diego's funeral Roberta tried to Comfort Garcia while he went into a very bad form of Saddening which only happens if you lose a family member who you really loved. Garcia asked Roberta if his father was a victim Roberta simply told him that "Diego had nothing to be ashamed of in the face of Chuck Norris" and despite Garcia begging her to not pick up a Gun again Roberta disobeyed as she decided to become the bloodhound of florencia again seeking revenge for the death of her master. Despite Natural News saying that the bombing was done by a radical supporter of the Rebel Army Roberta knew that this cover up story was just the south american government coping that they lost most of their territories in the First South American war. and she realized that she was true as a few days later members of the East Brazilian military and some sympathizers of the Ptolemaic Army told her and Garcia that there was 6 people with not only western ties but with some ties to Armored Captain's Anti-Crime Clan that were involved with the Bombing. So she goes and kills the 6 people with ties to them and let me tell you The bodies were mutilated beyond recognition The 6th man told her about the Armored Captain's Anti-Crime Clans involvement so Roberta Abducts Captain 10 and tortured him for weeks until he told her every bit of info he knew about her masters death which involved multiple groups and a few Undefeatables that are in thailand again after that she set the abandoned Hotel that 10 was in on fire killing him in the inferno. and she bought a McDonald's Airport ticket back to thailand but before she can go she will need to get heavy weaponry in order to get her revenge on the people who killed her master. Roberta would arrive in Roanapur with various weapons which insist of a Musket that was passed down from multiple generations of the Lovelace family that they used for home defense because that's what George Washingmachine intended along with that she brought a bunch of Bombs and Lamp Oil along with that she had a Magnum M4A1 DD-Rifle Colt .45 and finally a Glock and let me tell you she would use this massive arsenal to its full extent. But first she would need more Boolets but she would need the location so she arrives at the Yellow Flag and asked for some Beer Bao who was scared of her destroying his business again gave it to her for free but she wasn't done yet she would ask him the locations of the places where she could wage WAR Bao denied it until she crushed her glass after realizing that she wasn't joking around and also being threatened that if he didn't give her the locations she would force him to eat British Food Bao gave her the locations so she goes to a store to repair her musket. After repairing her musket she went to a pawn shop so she can buy some Black Rock Powder and Gunpowder and finally went to a Hotel Mario to seek shelter and found Dr. Van Nostrand and held him at gunpoint to give her some stimulant medication that she would use to keep herself awake and full of stamina but she also demanded that those pills have Plotholiumin them or else she'll kill him Nostrand complied and gave her the pills. Roberta returned to her hotel room so she could get a small amount of rest before she began to reign hellfire upon thailand and somewhere else so bad that Chuck Norris needed to get involved.... AND SO ROBERTA'S BLOOD TRAIL BEGAN. Meanwhile, Garcia found out about Roberta leaving to get revenge on his behalf, so he and another Lovelace maid, Fabiola Iglesias, went to Roanapur together to find her Garcia decided to get help from the Lagoon Company Even though they were holding him hostage when he had to deal with Talon company. After Fabiola found Revy and Rokuro "The Rock" Okajima and after a small disagreement which led to a gunfight with the Top Hat Mafia which caused most of the Yellow flag to be destroyed yet again after getting the rest of the Lagoon crew to follow her to the Hotel Weegee there in the hotel weegee the epic gamer triad leader Mister Chang offered help to Garcia in his mission to find Roberta Garcia recalled how members of the Ptolemaic army visited his house as well as the different people that Roberta killed matching her motive the rest of the lagoon crew decide to help Garcia after seeing all the proof. But it was basically too late as Roberta would travel to Captain 0 Land to cause a massive terrorist attack with all her bombs that killed so many people and damaged 65% of the city in the process Warden (For Honor) attacked her during the terror attack but she was to strong as she grabbed his sword out of his hands and stabbed him directly in the chest killing him. After the deaths of hundred thousand civilians she would return to Thailand and would start wrecking havoc and bought some combat gear before dousing her hotel room in Lamp Oil and setting it on fire causing Hotel Mario to burn down She did this because she found out that the UnUnited Nations and UnAmerican special forces along with other peacekeepers the Armored Captain's Anti-Crime Clan and a Supposed Undefeatable were coming to Thailand to find her. However when they showed up all hell broke loose Roberta while hiding in a bush she took her musket out and fired a shot at Captain 60 killing him after that an all out firefight between her and multiple armies occurred and the UN lost half of their men the Americans retreated Armored Captain's Anti-Crime Clan retreated somewhere else in order to get some breathing room and that undefeatable didn't arrive. After brutalizing what remained of the UN's forces she had a short time for breathing room and in this short period took several pills before the undefeatable finally arrived. Shaggy Rogers demanded Roberta to stop but we was attacked and mauled by her before running off despite it not really hurting him Shaggy realized that shes a massive threat and decided to get the help from his father Chuck Norris and because he thought that she was a mary sue got Tierboskat too. Roberta's killing spree continued with her doing another act of trolling via showing up at Captain 37's Hotel and throwing so many bombs at it before yet again returning to Thailand to hunt down the remainder of the armored crime clan and she found Captain 80 and brutalized him beyond recognition after using Rizz to rizz him up but while that was going on Tierboskat forces Garcia to help with roberta or he'll fucking kill him (but if he kills Garcia he'd be the first undefeatable to be killed by a pissed off mortal) Garcia knowing that he'll be killed if he doesn't help agrees to help and as such the final battle began Roberta showed up in a Jungle and was immediately surrounded by the UnPolice and the Unamerican army and even Revy showed up. But while she was killing the UN peacekeepers Roberta acquired a 50 cal anti material rifle and after pulling it out a massive gunfight began and Roberta dodged bullets but got hit by many in the process but led to them retreating yet again Tierboskat and Chuck Norris along with Garcia showed up and demanded that Roberta puts an end to this bloodshed but then Captain 20 walked out but she knew that she was responsible for the bombing and she aimed her Colt .45 at him planning on finishing the revenge she wanted but before she could fire her gun, Garcia shot the Armored Captain's Anti-Crime Clan's leader like they were Mr. Burns. Roberta then went in a complete meltdown mode with the combined mix of Maddening and saddening she went into a final form of true bloodhound rage and ran at Chuck and a earth shattering battle began lasting 3 nights with both of them using their complete arsenal of firearms before returning to CQC after they ran out of bullets and then it happened.. Chuck hit her with a roundhouse kick but it didn't do anything to her he hit her with it again and it didn't and before she could attempt to rip his heart out he did it for a third time with this one Tearing her right arm completely off and in this state of weakness ordered Tierboskat to shoot her with his laser and so he did he fired a laser directly into her right eye disintegrating it before using his laser again to cut her right leg off but the sogga was confused on why she didn't Asplode as they thought she was a mary sue but then chuck realized everything She was only getting stronger because of how incredibly angry and revenge fueled she was getting Roberta would collapse to the ground but even after 2 lasers and 3 roundhouses she was alive Garcia would get back up and run to his head maid. Chuck Decided to give the maid one last chance and decided to let her live because thats what Garcia would've wanted. Tierboskat reported that Garcia would be fine but still needed medical treatment, so everyone prepared to help Garcia and Roberta leave. Disappointed, Captain 50 pointed his rifle at Roberta, telling 20 that they could not just let her leave after she killed 3 of their comrades. Before he could shoot the maid, 20 shot 50 first, killing him. He then ordered someone to get the 2 on Captain 0's Car and drive them back to Venezuela after the car arrived Roberta bid Chuck a farewell, telling him that he could continue dancing with the dead.
After Blood Trail aka the present[]
Currently Roberta lives with her master Garcia the wounds she sustained at the end of her dance with the dead haven't been replaced well except for her leg she was donated a Prosthetic Leg by Dr. Van Nostrand and he's working on an arm too as Garcia demanded that his maid would get replacement limbs but Roberta explained that she doesn't want a bionic eye as people will mistake her for the female Rugal Bernstein. She now lives peacefully and so ends the story of the Bloodhound of Florencia....
Trivia[]
- Roberta is immune to Horror Show
- She would join the Fourteen Deadly CEOs as the CEO of violence
Gallery[]
