UnAnything Wiki

What is UnAnything? UnAnything is a 2008-humor wiki that's been running for over a decade. Want to edit? Just read the guide. Be sure to also check out our Discord! Have fun!

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Hello there! Welcome to the world of Pokémon! My name is Oak! People call me the Pokémon Prof! This world is inhabited by creatures called Pokémon! For some people, Pokémon are pets. Other use them for fights. Myself… I study Pokémon as a profession. First, what is your name? Right! So your name is Swag Lord! This is my grandson. He's been your rival since you were a baby. …Erm, what is his name again? That's right! I remember now! His name is Poop! Swag Lord! Your very own Pokémon legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures with Pokémon awaits! Let's go! Professor Oak when a twelve year old plays Pokemon.

Prof Oak

Professor Oak (February 27, 1929 - May 6, 2017) (October 17, 2018 - May 30, 2019) (May 30, 2019 - June 1, 2019) (June 1, 2019 - ) was an infamous figure known for inventing the Pokeball and using it to revolutionize the slavery industry. It is because of this man that so many innocent creatures are abducted and forced to fight against each other. It is because of this man that innocence is all but gone from this puny little world. Professor Oak must be chased by an Angry Mob so they can properly thank him for instilling a new level of crime and chaos.

Professor Oak was not always like this. Back then, he was just called Oak. Oak loved being told stories of Pokemon when he was younger. He became obsessed with them. His parents decided his obsession to Pokemon was unhealthy, so he screamed "I'M NORMAL! I'M NORMAL! I'M NORMAL!" and stabbed them to death. From that moment on, he swore to abuse Pokemon because he was a no good little punk. Now he's a bitter old man, and the position of no good little punk goes to his grandson Gary Oak.

On October 17, 2018, he became the warden of the Helheim prison complex.

Origins

Oak was born on February 27, 1929 in Toronto, Canda. His parents constantly beat him but one day when he was 17 he murdered his parents and escaped to Kanto where he lived for the rest of his life.

1st Death

On May 3, 2017, a lockdown happened and a killer stabbed Professor Oak. Oak was taken to hospital for his injuries and slipped into a coma. He died in the ICU 3 days later on May 6 2017, He was 88 years old. Nobody came to his funeral.

Second Life

On October 17, 2018, Will Smith realised that he needed to appoint a warden to oversee the Helheim prison complex. Reading about Oak's expertise with enslaving Pokemon, Smith knew he had found his candidate. He used Rewind Time to resurrect Oak, and Oak graciously accepted the job offer. On May 30 2019, Oak was ran over and killed by Brian Griffin while vacationing in California. Unfortunately for the prisoners, once someone experiences Rewind Time, they automatically become banished from death.

Seeking revenge, Oak complained to to the newly reinstated Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Brian Griffin was declared wanted in all states of the Asgardian Empire. Griffin fled across the border into UnAmerica where he was offered political asylum.

Third Life

On May 31, 2019, Oak was fired from his job after cheating with an officer's wife. This led Oak into a deep depression and he shot himself in the head at his abandoned lab on June 1, 2019, hoping to end the cycle and find some sense of peace.

Death

Faith was not yet through with Oak, however. He awoke within Helheim prison believing he was dead and in Hell. Over the next year, Oak's mental state gradually deteriorated, with him finding repeated suicides having no effect. Near the end of the year, he was offering his soul and a new Master Ball he invented to Thor in an exchange for rescue.

Fourth Life

After a year spent "dead," Oak's wishes came true. He was "broken out" of the "underworld" by Celebrimbor, a member of Dumbledore's Army (a cult of Thor; founded by Harold Potter) and the first to receive the "gift" of Rewind Time. Feeling eternally grateful, Oak sold his soul to Thor and vowed never to step out of line again. Unbeknownst to him, the whole thing was a ruse orchestrated by the designer of the prison, the Asgardian Minister of Propaganda, Mysterio, in order to test the psychological effects of the prison. Securing Oak's undying loyalty was just a bonus.

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