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Note: Translate the foreign words in Google Translate. Some words may be 9000% inaccurate.

Shut up. Just shut up.

Potato Solanum tuberosum is a perennial tuber plant that belongs in the Legend plants family. It is usually served to humans and to animals as well. It was originated in Paris when Napoleon Bonaparte ordered his men to cook dirt for him. One of his men saw a plant then he gave it to Bonaparte. When Bonaparte tasted it, he said it was good. It was then given to a famous French chef to cook it. The French chef called the food stupide alimentaire.



Potatoes you say?

According to the Hawaiian song Nui Moana or Big Ocean in English, potatoes are rocks from outer space that crashed here in Earth then formed the ocean. But according to some countries like Finland, potatoes are the most powerful matter that can destroy the world, open portals or even the start of human extinction.[1]

Some people even say that it is the number one source for powers. Because potatoes contains lot of fibers. So eat potatoes and drink Lemonade okay.


As years went by, people in Paris started eating potatoes. Then they exported potatoes in America. In 1835, Abraham Lincoln declared that potatoes should be eaten in America everyday because he said that it was delicious. He even decorated his house with potatoes. Potatoes became popular until the Japanese invaded America. They invaded America because they want all the potatoes. America offered Japan 5000 potatoes to leave. Japan accepted the offer then left America. Japan used potatoes as armors and weapons to attack other countries. When they attacked Pac-Land, potatoes scattered almost everywhere leaving potato crops to grow. When people in Pac-Land harvested the plant, they ate it until it became popular their. So basically, all the dots their in Pac-Land are 0.0001% created from potatoes because potatoes has been the country's favorite food.


Ancient Egyptian legend


Potatoes in Egypt harvested in sand. Note: Those stuff aren't rocks. They are overgrown potatoes harvested in Egypt.

In ancient Egypt, potatoes are believed to be the most powerful matter that started the creation of the universe. That is one of the reason why ancient Egyptian people created pyramids to worship potatoes. Potatoes in Egypt are always eaten by Egyptian people so they will be powerful. Egyptian people learned the ways of how to harvest a crop in sand. [2] Isn't it mind-blowing? Wait 'till you see references. In 13th century, Egyptians stopped harvesting potatoes because they started to believe that potatoes are a mass destruction and the beginning of human extinction. But some Egyptians still harvest potatoes.

Hawaiian legend

Potatoes are mentioned in an ancient song of Hawaii called Nui Moana or Big Ocean in English. The lyrics mentioned the word uala meaning potato in English. According to the lyrics of Nui Moana, potatoes are a mysterious rocks from outer space that crashed here in Earth and formed the ocean.


Potatoes are very powerful. Here is the full list of the powers of potatoes:

  • Fiber. Potatoes means fiber. So more potatoes, more going to toilet!
  • Destruction. It releases a radioactive laser that can destroy everything in it's path.
  • Heal. It can heal all wounds.


The term "potato" may refer to something that is a chicken. Most people found this ironic since the crop is a powerful entity.


There is an entire religion called Potatoism were people worship a big potato, it's odd, but anything that is odd goes.


  1. That's very true mah boi.
  2. Egyptian people eat potatoes then defecate on a sand so the potatoes will grow.
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