Let me fill you in on something. No matter how much you attack me, I will never DIE. Even if I somehow wind up beaten, I will never DIE. Bet you didn't know that, did you?
—Porky Minch, after becoming immortal.
Porky Minch is a fat guy that likes trolling, is very Fartitudinous, eats bombs and other stuff for lunch, and he's known as Pokey if you play EarthBound.
Porky likes trolling in any places, a toilet, a peaceful town, a place that shows famous poop, you name it! For some reason he has a TV show but I'm too lazy to put it here, so go here.
Porky was a member of the Carpainter's cult. After that got destroyed by Ness, he came up with an evil plan.
History[]
The SUPER SAFE THINGY MABOB
Porky was born in Onett during the 1980s. One day, Porky's friend Ness didn't invite him to Minecraft. Porky loves Minecraft, so he gets revenge on Ness by summoning Giygas. Porky and Giygas fight Ness, but Ness kills both of them.
Gaben's Worth the Weight Contest's Status[]
Porky in Mother 3.
Porky later respawned so he could join a contest. He ranked #1 mostly in the challenges due to a FAT LEVEL of OVER 9000!!! Sometimes he was ranked #2, being beaten by Fatman.
New Pork City[]
His evil plan was found out, but still goes through with making Leafy and Firey kiss, destroying NYC and paving his own NPC. (Wait, that doesn't sound right.)
Porky and the SUPER SAFE THINGY-MABOB[]
Porky was trapped in the SUPER SAFE THINGY MABOB in the year 2269 in his own city. He's in there because he stumbled upon Wheatley's Lair and Wheatley trapped in in the SUPER SAFE THINGY MABOB. After getting the news, Lucas went to give his beautiful brother a hug, because he loves what Porky did to his face.
Joining The Blocky Bunch[]
Porky somehow escapes the SUPER SAFE THINGY-MABOB at some point. Porky then joins the Blocky Bunch to work on some shames, as well as continuing to troll people.
Evil Plan[]
Porky STILL working on his new evil plan. HURRY UP FATASS; ARE YOU GOING TO DO YOUR EVIL PLAN OR NOT???!!!!!!
Trivia[]
- It's completely impossible to escape the SUPER SAFE THINGY-MABOB, so it's currently unknown how Porky escaped.
- Porky hates the Mario enemy Pokey because that stole Porky's name. Porky also hates Kenzie Bryant, a member from Jacknjellify. This is because Kenzie's nickname is "Pokey" (which pisses off Porky, because he's the real Pokey) and other reasons.