Paul Bunyan

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Paul Bunyan

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Just some giant dude who lived way back in the 1800s in the Unworld, and there stories of him in the Real World. He helped to log off much of North America, particularly the United States, and had a giant blue ox he called Babe.

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He was an unusual sized baby, and weighed 80 pounds within a year of life. His parents were surprisingly normal sized people, and they tried to raise Paul as best as they could. Well, they had to leave Maine because Pennywise was being a jerk and that Paul accidentally hiccuped in his sleep so badly that the Atlantic Ocean was churning madly and sank many ships.

When he was grown, he was 4 miles high, and at least 70 tons in weight (nobody cared to weigh him though). It was hard for him to wear clothes, of course, which needed to be imported from another realm and his prized ax handle was made from a redwood tree-though some say a gigantic oak. He had a logging crew with a bunch of eccentric people, some gigantic, others regular sized, and all with a huge appetite. Women worked in there, but usually it was men. There was this one job where he went for a swim and saw Patrick Star, but decided to only tell Patchy the Pirate about him, because everyone else would think he was nutty.

One day in 1877 he and his logging crew had to go down to the Border in order to meet some Redwoods. Along the way he met Thimper, and drug his ax that was so huge, it's blade itself reflected the sun's rays and made it unbearable for the regulars, and it scorched the land so badly that even archaeologists, when looking back, see the land as desert all the way back to the Ice Age. That's why he put it in the ground and made the Grand Canyon.

Late in life, he retired to Alaska, where he and his ox Babe still live in the Unworld. The logging crew got new jobs or became traveling workers, aka hobos.