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Patrick Star is a WANTED article! |
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NO, this is PATRICK! | 
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| —Patrick Star | |||
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Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... |
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| —Patrick Star | |||
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Leedle Leedle Leedle Leedle Lee! |
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| —Patrick on saying something. | |||
| Patrick Star | |
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| It's Patrick! | |
| Gender: | Male |
| Hair color: | N/A |
| Eye color: | Dumb, but awesome |
| Species: | Starfish |
| Home: | Bikini Bottom |
| Likes: | Patrick Zone |
| Dislikes: | Being mistaken for the Krusty Krab |
| Occupation: | Living under a rock |
| Known For: | Being dumb and cool simultaneously |
| How They Like Their Steak: | Medium Rare |
| Alignment: | Chaotic Good |
| UnRank: | 10^50 |
Patrick Star is a dumb starfish that likes SpongeBob and his house, residing in Bikini Bottom. He has similar powers to Leonidas of The 300 by yelling "NO, this is PATRICK!" and either slamming a phone or grabbing a guy's foot whose about to kick him and throw him down a Sparta hole, and when angered, he'll summon the Patrick Zone and throw you inside it. He is also able to utter the Forbidden Word.
He also likes to eat Pie, thinking it is Real Pie, although he always gets blown up afterwards. He has also declared that Mayonnaise should be an instrument. He is most well known for making first place in the original Top 10 Weirdest People list made back in 1800. He is also, very well like Richard Watterson.
Origin
It is unknown where Patrick came from because we are too lazy to look up his parents. Another common question was why he was allowed to live, because he was fat, ugly, and killed 81274938127398127398127389 people over 12903812 various planets when he first spoke. This was because he spoke the Forbidden Word. We do know that he was around in the 1800s somehow, as he saw Paul Bunyan while Paul was swimming in the ocean.
Life
As a young child, he grew up with SpongeBob, and they became friends for life. As he years went on, radiation from nuclear waste dumps in the ocean made him stupider and stupider. Today he is a welfare king who even got a reward from the government for being on welfare the longest. Then he used his fight money UnDollars to buy a cool truck named the Sand Truck, which he makes donuts from for at least 3 hours a day.
Weegee Encounters
He's known to cause an explosion when making contact with Weegee and knows a song that can destroy an entire household. When Weegee stared at him, it reflected off his stupidity and caused infinite recursion.
Controversy
He also hates My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and many (rabid) people hate him for that. He is also most hated for being GM of Crossfire but he is dumb, so he puts all the pieces of crap in the ZP Crates. The pieces of crap are really hard to win and they only last 1 second. They are also disguised as powerful guns.
Death
He was killed by a chemical reaction caused by Giygas mixing a Machinama movie disc with mutant penguin poop, chocolate, eggs, strawberry juice, a dill pickle, slow-churned ice cream, Weegee's eyebrow, an eye of ender, pieces of crap & Patrick's right leg all on a DVD & in the microwave poured with vinegar & baking soda, trying to fix his SuperBuddies movie. Weegee & PoBenson also died in that too. The King came along, found the corpses, threw them in the WaMachine, brang them back to life & made WaPoBenateegee.
Videos
Patrick has a staring contest with weegee (50th video suprise!)
A collision with Patrick and Weegee. Result: TOTAL HUMILIATING AWESOMENESS THAT IS SO GROSS & DOG-EARED I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT IT IS!
No, This Is Patrick!
Patrick ULTIMATELY PWNING a 300 fan.
PATRICK ZONE
When you're in the Patrick Zone: There's no escaping.
