Past
—The past
The past
The past was a place Sonic made up in Sonic CD, much like the future. The past was a place that Dr. Robotnik once invaded with his massive fleet of robots, or so Sonic thinks, but he actually ate too many onion rings and mistook a rock for the Sacred Time Knob. After that incident, people became aware that some stuff could happen before other stuff, and that that might be something worth noting, thus the past was recognized as being real, even by historians.
Most things from the past are pretty boring or lame, like Citizen Kane. That's the Noise's favorite film. Therefore, he is lame and boring just like the past. By the transitive property of mathematics, he is also the past, and is stuck in it too like a moron. Most things from the past are also either overrated, crap, or both, like Friends, My Little Pony, Half Life, COD, fidget spinners, and so much more. You'd probably be better off staying in the present or maybe going to the future.
The only thing from the past that people actually care about and that are actually cool are Dinosaurs, which is why most people are going back to the dinosaur ages, and not meeting stupid guys like their grand dad. That's better than wanting to kill him, at least. There's also people who think you'll ruin everything by punching a dinosaur, and those people are stupid.
Half of all Sonic OCs have mysterious/troubled pasts too that they'd rather not talk about either. Most are worse than Batman's.
So, what did we learn kids? THE PAST SUCKS!!!
Trivia[]
- There are some good things in the past, but you have to look very hard for them. Communism isn't one of them unfortunately.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd took this as inspiration to write shaming reviews about bad shames from the past, thanking Sonic for the inspiration.