Paper Mario

The boxart for Paper Mario.

Paper Mario, formerly known as Super Mario RPG 2, is an obscure shame made by Nintendo for the Nintendo 64. It stars Paper Doll Man as Mario, and involves Mario's quest to rescue Princess Peach (again) and obtain the Sword of Epic, which Bowser has stolen.

Concept and Development

This shame was originally planned to be the sequel to Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stairs. However, when New Mario was assassinated, the developers of Super Mario RPG left in a huff and took the rights to the name "Super Mario RPG", as well as all the characters, with them. Thus, Nintendo had to find somebody else to work for them. They hired a random thief-type dude named Paper Doll Man to play the main villain, but Paper Doll Man only wanted to do it if he could be the main character. Thus, Nintendo let Paper Doll Man play the hero and the villain...and every other character, too. With the power of film shame magic, anything is possible!

Plot

One day, at Bowser's Castle, Bowser is chatting with his minion, King Boo, about how tedious it is to walk all the way to Peach's Castle to kidnap her all the time. He then states that he wishes he had a magic wand to simply wish Princess Peach into his castle. King Boo suddenly remembers an ancient artifact that he once saw back when he was alive and not a Boo. It is called the Sword of Epic, a legendary weapon that can turn into anything and serve whoever obtains it, growing legs and walking away when it is done with this task. Bowser then sends King Boo to obtain the Sword of Epic for him, which King Boo easily accomplishes, simply disappearing and reappearing first at the secret storage area of the Sword of Epic, then at Bowser's Castle once again. Bowser then commands the Sword of Epic to transform into a magic wand, which he uses to power up his minions. Afterwards, Bowser uses the wand to kidnap Peach without even lifting a toe.

Meanwhile, at Mario's house, Mario wakes up to find that Bowser has left a note for him on his coffee table. It says that Bowser has kidnapped Princess Peach while he was sleeping, and that he has grown stronger than ever before. Curious about the situation, Mario runs off to investigate and finds a Koopa with wings, which is an unusual occurrence in the Mushroom Kingdom. When Mario asks the winged Koopa how it got its wings, it explains that Bowser has given it wings with his new magic wand. Then, the Koopa fights Mario, as it is a minion of Bowser, but it promptly loses and decides to help Mario retrieve the magic wand, which both of them are curious about. OVER 9000 boring levels later, Mario and his new Koopa friend finally reach Bowser's Castle.

Upon entering Bowser's Castle through the window on the castle's tallest tower, where Peach is captured, the two heroes encounter Bowser himself. There, they see him using the wand to magically conjure food into his mouth. He has grown fat from eating so much food, and is in no condition to fight Mario. Thus, King Boo offers to fight Mario instead, while Bowser uses the magic wand to recuperate. Mario and his new Koopa friend fight King Boo, eventually beating him. Meanwhile, Bowser has used his wand to make himself skinny(-ish) again, only to find that the wand has run out of magic. Enraged, Bowser transforms the Sword of Epic into its original form, and attacks Mario. After a long and grueling battle, Mario and the Koopa defeat Bowser, with the Koopa striking the finishing blow. The Koopa becomes the new owner of the Sword of Epic and flies away, never to be seen again. Mario, meanwhile, rescues Princess Peach and takes her back to her castle for some (terrible) cake.

Shameplay

This shame plays like a standard, two-dimensional, turn-based RPG: walk into enemies, engage a fighting sequence, take turns whacking each other. There are only two party members in the whole shame: Mario and the winged Koopa. They both utilize different attacks and can each overcome different kinds of obstacles in their way. Mario can travel through pipes to find an alternate route to travel along, while the Koopa can fly Mario to wherever he needs to go.

Levels

There are OVER 9000 levels--too many to list. They are all two-dimensional and unmemorable, having long names that are difficult to pronounce.

Bosses

1. Winged Koopa: the first boss of the shame. Attacks by flying into the air and hitting Mario from above. This attack is unavoidable, but does not deal much damage. The Koopa later becomes a party member and, although his attack is weak, it grows stronger and stronger later on.
2. King Boo: the second boss of the shame; is fought just before the final boss. He attacks by vanishing and reappearing in front of Mario and the winged Koopa as well as licking them. It is difficult to tell which party member he will attack, but he is predictable due to his tongue, which points at whichever party member he plans to attack.
3. Bowser: the final boss. He attacks by using the Sword of Epic, which can transform into several different weapons, depending on Bowser's health. It starts off as a sword when Bowser is at full health, then turns into a lightsaber at half health, then a gun at his final attack. The gun instantly kills any party member (usually always Mario), but it does not matter since Bowser only has one peg of health when he uses the gun to attack.

Reception

This game did not sell many copies, mostly due to its obscurity. However, it also received negative reviews. Squadala Ratings gave it a 3.5/10, criticizing it for its lack of YouTube Poops. Biased Ratings, on the other hand, gave it a 9.5/10 for no explicable reason.