What Old People are really like.

This is an article on the human sub-species known as old people. For an actual old person, see here.


Old people (Homo Oldus) is an elder species of human. A human can become an old person by reaching a certain age.

Physical appearance

The male old person, or Grandpa, is bald, but often has a long beard. They have weak legs, not helped by the amount of time they spend watching Antiques Roadshow, and have to use a cane to stand up properly without wetting themselves, as they have incredibly unstable bladders. The Female, or Grandma, keeps her hair in a bun, and uses glasses to make up for her incredibly poor eyesight, which can prevent her for being able to tell a coat rack from a grandchild. While the Grandpa is also known to sometimes have bad eyesight, it has never be known to be this awful.

Behaviour

The Grandpa is known for his outstanding on era of his childhood, which he refers to as "The good old days". The granpa will constantly remise about this era, when "kids knew respect", "food was better", "the air was warmer", and other similar topics in which "The good old days" are always superior. The Grandma does not have nearly as good of a memory for anything.

Deaths

As humans turn into old people when they reach a certain age, there are far more recorded deaths of old people than regular humans. Though this is usually because of age, their slow speed is also unhelpful when fleeing from a man-eating dinosaur.

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